So, I’ve been reading a lot of messages in this forum and I have learned a lot from you guys. Thank you very much. Now I want to share how my first month went. I really was not sure what the going price was supposed to be so the first really attractive girl I met from SA asked for $300. Figuring she was about a 9 on the TER scale I thought it would be a good deal. When she arrived she was even better looking than her pics. She started of with a really good bbbj but then things went down hill. She really had no personality and looked very disinterested while doing me. That was very disconcerting so I’ll never see her again.
Then I learned from here to meet up first for drinks and see if there is chemistry. That has worked great so far. I met one girl, 23, an attractive Latina and we hit it off. I’ve seen her 3 times already and she stays for 4-5 hours each time for only 250. She’s very affectionate and she gives the best DT bbbj I’ve ever had. But she doesn’t like to be pleasured herself and doesn’t like cum anywhere on or near her so that puts a little damper on the finish. But other than that she’s great. I met another girl, 20 yr old black girl who looks much better in person than in her pics. (I’ve been lucky that way) We met for coffee and got along well. She said all she wants is $150 so of course I said yes. The next day she wanted to have dinner for her fee but with no intimacy. I told her I would take her to dinner if she wanted to get to know me better, but if she wanted her fee it would require intimacy. Then she flew off the handle and starts saying how she’s not a prostitute. So I very calmly explain how the relationship of SD/SB is one where you spend time together which might include dinner but would definitely include sex if she wanted her fee. ( I know that’s not always true but that’s what I said). I thought she would still be upset but instead responded with OK. So we’re scheduled to meet on Saturday evening and I really hope this goes well as I find her very attractive.There are about 4 or 5 more SA girls that I’m in talks with now who want to meet for coffee but we’re just trying to get our availability aligned. So I’m off to a good start but I’m open to learning more from you guys and how to be a good SD.
It's always hard to handle the "I'm not a prostitute" statement, but you handled it well and had a good outcum. Props!
If we are going to be spending our time doing what "I" want to do, ie SEX, then I expect to pay. If we are going to be doing what "she" wants to do, ie ANYTHING else but sex, than it's OTC. lol
You seem to be getting the hang of this just fine. One thought about M&G's before BCD meets, I know some guys insist on them, but do you really think you would have figured out she was a lousy lay by having coffee first? You say she looked great, sucked a mean dick, but that it wasn't until you got to the main course that you were disappointed. If this is the worst date you ever have, I think you'll be a happy man. You really don't know if you will "click" in bed so I refuse to commit to a lot of "allowance" until AFTER we have been intimate. I would say that $300 bucks for a great BJ and some lackluster sex is just a risk that comes along with the territory.
One thing I try to do is to "plan for success" when meeting for drinks/coffee or whatever I try to plan them reasonably close to home so if we hit it off we can come right back to my house for BCD. Or if meeting out of town, I scout out the area for hotel availability so I know we have a place to go if we hit it off. I don't really mind having a M&G followed by a second "real" date, but I am pretty much ALWAYS "in the mood" so I like to increase my chances of a first date BCD.
Thanks for the good advice.
Now how do you deal with this one... I have a new pot sb. We were planning to meet for coffee but she said let’s skip that and come to my place. So I’m ok with that but there has been no mention of price by her or by me. She initiated the conversation and the getting together. Is it possible that she just wants sex without compensation? Not sure how I should handle this one. I figured if neither one of us brought it up then there should be no expectation.
Am I seeing this right?
GaGa may not agree with my point of view on this, but I would not expect to get free BCD just because she hasn't asked (yet).
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Since you are relatively new at this, I'd suggest you do a little scenario planning first:
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1. She may contact you between now and just before the scheduled meet and ask "how much".
2. She may contact you between now and just before the scheduled meet and tell you she needs $x.
3. She may not bring it up until you are naked, or just about to be naked.
4. She may ask for sugar as she's wiping the jizz off her (insert potential body part or surface here).
5. You could message her between now and just before you meet and suggest an amount
6. You could message her between now and just before you meet and ask her what she needs
7. You could ask/tell her before you get naked.
8. You could have some cash (more than you expect to give) in your pocket and ask her after.
9. You could have some cash (more than you expect to give) in your pocket and just give her a gift after.
10. You could just go with the flow and see what happens.
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None of these are perfect - all have pro's and cons.
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Try to figure out what result you are optimizing for first: Lot's of repeat sessions, minimize out of pocket spend, hit in and quit it, influence her to bring a hot friend, etc.
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Once you know what you want to get out of the BCD (beyond the sex) then figure out how to handle/respond to each scenario.
but I only disagree about disagreeing. lol
A woman who wants to go BCD without having met you is almost certainly NOT going to fuck you for free. An SB that fucks you for free is a lot more likely to be one that gets swept up in the moment and just ends up doing it without any preplanning involved.
A woman who is going straight to BCD is not doing so because she likes you, quite the contrary, she doesn't even know you. She is 99% certain a hooker, or a "semi pro" and while I have nothing against either one, they are the group of SB's least likely to fuck you for free.
As for your list of ten possibilities, I am sure there are several more possible ways this could play out, but you have hit on the most likely. Speaking strictly for myself, I am the type that would pick number 10 and just go with the flow and see what happens, BUT I would make sure I had a "fair" amount of cash on hand as I would be having every expectation of giving her money.
Herbtcat has summed up all the various possibilities very well ... don't expect free sex but it can happen occasionally in VERY RARE CIRCUMSTANCES.
I've had several occasions where after the M&G the lady said " I'll leave the donation up to you " and those dates went VERY WELL including numerous repeats.
I also met one who never asked for any $$$...she lived several hundred miles away and I simply paid her airfare to wherever we would meet. After several multi day visits I did take her for some lite shopping as gifts but nothing extravagant.
We did some regular ( monthly or every 6 weeks or so ) weekend travel together and she enjoyed the upscale lifestyle I treated her to...great hotels, dinners attending concerts fancy car and yacht shows etc. She was age appropriate for me ( late 40's and still a looker ) ...I was 65 at that time....after a couple of months she confided that she was REALLY looking to get married again...she had been the trophy wife of a VERY wealthy oil man who died and she was running out of the small portion of his estate he had left to her....most of it had gone to his grown children and her lawyers had eaten up a BIG chunk in a fruitless lawsuit attempting to contest the will.
You never know what you will discover in the Sugar Bowl...I find that it's best to be open to ALL KINDS of possibilities 😋
First off about free sex, I do agree it happens, I also agree it's rare, but here is the point I would like to make. The OP talked about a POT SB basically agreeing to sex sight unseen, BEFORE any kind of M&G, those offers are NEVER free. Agreeing to sex with a guy she has never met is a pretty good sign that you are dealing with a pro or a semi-pro who never fuck strangers for free.
Your last sentence however I agree with 100%, I too "find it best to be open to ALL KINDS of possibilites" You honestly never know what motivates some of these girls. You'd be amazed at how many of the mid 20's-mid 30's girls are simply sexually frustrated housewives and ex housewives who have spent "the best years" of their lives stuck in loveless and sexless marriages and who just want to be treated nice, touched in a way a woman wants to be touched and have a man genuinely want them, taking them to nice places doesn't hurt either. lol
Play it safe and meet her nearby. Say you're hungry or feel like a drink and have her meet you there. Then figure out what she's about and be ready to bounce to your house or a hotel for more security. Obviously, don't bring more cash than you're willing to gift.
I've had plenty of SBs not ever mention money, but they always want to meet me before sleeping with me.
That black chick is going to kick your ass!!!
Can you "take her" if you really had to?
I always get the amount set before a first meeting. I take that amount of money and my ID and that’s it regardless of where the first meeting is held. Normally I carry varying amounts of money and credit cards, but not at a first meeting, especially with a pro or semi-pro. When I travel and see escorts, I lock all my valuables up in the hotel safe, except what I need to pay her. Maybe I’m paranoid, but I’ve seen too many stories of rip-offs.
Threads like this illustrate one of the most interesting aspects of sugaring: All methods work!
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Required M&G's before BCD vs. never M&G.
Sugar offeres and acceptance prior to BCD vs. just see what happens
P4P vs. weekly/monthly allowance
Super young (18+ up to early 20's) vs. older (25+) vs. MILFS (30+?)
Her place/your place vs. hotel (and for inclusion vs. RV)
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The only thing each SD must figure out is which methods work for THEM and for each specific POT SB they contact.
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So like any discussion about performance and skills development, figure out your strengths and weaknesses. Play to your strengths and spend time improving your weaknesses (until they become strengths).
Will you do a SWOT analysis of the way I'm running my SD business?!?
LOL
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Only if you give me the official Sugar Baby PowerPoint template and sign an NDA.
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You do have a dropbox account, right?
Let's start a basecamp process improvement project on my process...
Should I just post my shit here?!?
For those interested in how it went with those 2 SB's, here's an update. Last Wednesday I was scheduled to meet up with the beautiful young blond who initiated the meet up and just wanted me to come straight to her place. Skip the coffee in other words. I got some good advice here and decided to come prepared with a few bills but just to let it play itself out. Unfortunately that morning I came down with a bug and had to cancel. She was understanding and as it turns out she's also an RN so she was full of good advice (stuff I already knew of course but it was generous nonetheless) to get me back healthy. So, we have rescheduled for this next week.
I felt better by Thursday and started getting myself prepared for the first encounter with the beautiful young black girl on Saturday night. I was really looking forward to it as she is so sexy, but 2 hours before our meet time she said she was in the hospital. Now the question begs, was she telling the truth or just trying to get out of it. I gave her the benefit of the doubt, just like the other girl gave me. So, now I was 0 for 2 which wasn't a good feeling.
However, I had been working on several other girls from SA and one was available to come on short notice. So we set up a meeting for 8pm on Saturday night. So, when 8 came and went I was wondering if I'm getting stood up or what. She texted me about 845 to say that her car was almost stolen by a guy at a gas station and she had to deal with the police. Well, of course that took some time and again I'm left wondering if that's true or not. But I tend to give people the benefit of the doubt until I'm proven wrong, so in this case I just sent her very supportive messages and reassured her that she could come over whenever. Well, she finally shows up at 930 and as soon as she comes in I had a good feeling about her. She was really very attractive, 21, brunette with long hair down to her butt. I opened a bottle of wine so she could relax from her ordeal. She had an amazing story to tell of crazy guy following her to a gas station and threatening her in front of about 20 people, so someone called the police as he tried to steal her car but fortunately he was unsuccessful. She had to fill out a police report and make a statement. She was very apologetic to me and after a few glasses of wine she settled in with ease. After a little get to know you time, we headed to the bedroom where she told me to f*** her brains out. So we had sex for what seemed like hours before she fell asleep in my arms. This was the first time in a very long time where I had a girl stay the full night with me. So long in fact that I had forgotten what it was like to sleep with a beautiful naked girl in my arms.
So the lesson I learned here is to always keep stable of backups that you can go to when needed. I have a few others that I've been chatting with now that are potential SB's and I'm planning to meet them early this week. Then I'm planning to call my one regular whom I haven't seen now in 2 weeks. So this week is off to a good start with more to come.