I have been engaging in p4p for a decade now and had no idea that there was this accessible SB / SD world out there which was so accessible via SA . I have always wanted  to include  the dating aspect in p4p but have mostly found providers who are good at that either failing on looks (if they are under my 400-500 max per h threshold) or too expensive to be able to afford on a consistent multi h basis .  

I do have some constraints so please let me know if they make sense below or I am just fooling myself and I should stick to by-the-clock pros for p4p —  

- while I am in my mid 40s , I am in extremely good physical shape and very presentable so no problem there . But I simply can’t show my face in my pictures for privacy reasons . I would prefer to not put up any pics at all . Will this be a big problem ?

 
- I am also a very good host and would treat the SB extremy well but is there any way I can avoid revealing my real name and identity to her . I mean as long as we both meet and like each other and are willing to go bcd and the whole experience is enjoyable , should an SB care as to what my real name is or where I work ?

- I am willing to pay for fancy hotel accommodations but would like them under the SB name not mine, again as I don’t want any credit card txns that can be traced back to me and raise plenty of questions . I am willing to prepay the SB in advance for that .  

Bottomline , are these asks too much in this world , and unlikely to be met , and am I setting up to be disappointed big time ?  

I am not a regular poster on these boards but have been reading other threads for a while . Apologies if any of this has been asked and answered before , but I could really use some help on this subject from the experts here , before I take the plunge .  

Thanks in advance !

Not putting up a pic could slow the search. You're probably going to have to brag about your looks and go to meets as soon as possible so she can get a look at you.  

No real need to give your true identity.  I don't think that's an issue.

You can always pay in advance ... if you don't mind risking the loss.

Your first and second points shouldn't be major problems.  No pics may slow things down a little, but I think most SBs are used to seeing that on SD profiles.  You may want to have some sort of selfie to share before a M&G - via text or email if you don't want to use the site.  Most 'real' SBs want some idea of who they're meeting before showing up.  If a girl will eagerly meet or even go BCD with no idea what you look like then you're most likely dealing with a semi-pro.  There's certainly a place for that, but not sure that's what you're looking for.  Full name and personal details should definitely stay private, at least until well into a long-term arrangement.

What you're trying to do with hotels is going to be a little tricker.  If you're expecting a SB that will take care of booking the room and just get paid back for it, you're going to end up with a very small number of prospects, especially in the younger tiers.  In general, sharing responsibility for the logistics of dates might pan out with the slightly more mature SBs, but if you want to play in the 18-24 pool you need to be the one who arranges everything and just gives them directions.  

And its tricky to create a situation where you book and pay but the only record of the room is in the girl's name.  Some hotels will allow pre-pay and to put the room in someone else's name, but your credit card will still be the one charged.  Not sure exactly what you meant by 'fancy' hotels, but as you start going up the chain of stars and quality, there are fewer options that are going to accept a cash payment if you were trying to give a SB separate funds to pay when checking out.  In addition, most mid to upscale places want to swipe a card for incidentals at check-in, and sometimes actually put a hold on a certain amount on that card, so unless your SB has a valid card with some capacity on it, this can cause problems too.  I know other people have tried with gift cards, prepaid cards, etc so those kind of things could be an option, but I'm guessing results will vary from hotel to hotel.  Especially with girls you don't know well yet, this will go much, much more smoothly if you have a card you can use privately and take control of everything.  

I recently (within the last month)  began a full membership in SA.

I come from the escort world but there were just not many (any) escorts in my area that I'd have any interest in spending time with. I there were escorts in my area I would have never joined SA.  

Here are my observations as a new member.  

1. Put a picture in. You don't need to show your face. I just show a torso picture that even if my wife looked at it she wouldn't know it was me. Unverifiable clothes, background, no hands, etc. Something to show you are real. This is a percentage game and lowering the percentage to start does not make sense if with a little work you can raise the response rate.  

2. I got a bank account with a debit card from a bank that is out of the way and have few branches. I got the account set up with my private email, all correspondence go to my work, and on-line statements only. There is some risk of someone finding your bank account, but it's very small. The quicker you go from a nod to the bedroom with the least hassle that better. Getting a room without a nod would make me even more pissed at the no shows. Getting used to being stood up and taking it with some equanimity seems key to fully enjoying the bowl.  

3. When you are chatting and getting ready for the M&G most women want a face pick. If I feel good about the correspondence so far, I will send one through email only, not through SA. If SA is hacked, they don't have my face. I send a picture of me, one that can't be traced back to social media.

4. I give both a slight variation on my name and a slight variation on my occupation. I think most SB's realize that this is what is going on and that has not been close to an issue or the women who are looking for the same thing I am. I don't lie about my age, marital or financial status. I'm sure I drop the percentages due to my age, 65 and fact that I'm married but looking but choose to be honest about those.  

5. So far, my results have been great. In the first month 5 M&G set up, one was a nice lunch and then ghosted. One was a no show. The other three went behind closed doors immediately after. Of the three, money was discussed in general terms on only one, the others went off to the hotel without talking about money. Of the the two that we didn't discuss money, the first declined payment, saying that maybe I'd help her in the future. The other I paid a modest amount and asked her if it was OK and she seemed enthusiastic about that number.  

6. It appears that there are many jerks out there, wasting the women's time and trying to get something for nothing. If you are a relatively nice guy, fairly fit and treat them like a date it goes a long way. For me, money seems like the icing on the cake.  

7. I now clearly have more SB to juggle than I have time. I have a wife and a job that I am dedicated to. I'd like to search for more and upgrades but still want to meet the women in my rotation. Big problems.  

So, to summarize:

 Just Do It.  

Progress reports appreciated.

scroll and page thru this board, it is probably the best source of info about SA around.  I make my photos private, and then allow a lady to view after I check out her profile.  In my area, there is a tremendous ratio of SB's to SD's, so they come a runnin.  

Leaving out your picture wouldn't be a deal breaker. Most girls just want to be indulge or spoiled (financially).  

Once you have reached your comfort level, set up a time and place to meet. If the SB ask for ID, first and last name, address, etc up front, run in another direction. A real SB wouldn't want to know ANY personal information right off the bat.

When it's time to get a room, send her the money via Western Union or Money Gram. You wouldn't have to use your real name, but she will have to. This way you'll know she's on the level since ID is required to pick up the money.  

You really aren't asking a lot. If a woman doesn't respect your privacy, move on.

Good luck and have fun!

that you have waaaaaay to many constraints to engage in the sugar world.  I would stick with the pros

This is solid advice  

- I do like the idea of a pic without the face . I mean if pros can do it , why can’t we . Good tip there !

- re personal identity , looks like everyone agrees that SB doesnt need to know my real name and job etc as long as she is well taken care of . That’s good  

- re the hotel , that’s where as you guys pointed out , it’s more tricky . The money order idea is a good one . But I am also going to look into this new bank account with a smaller community bank.  I hope I luck into an SB that can use her own place for BCD. But I will do some planning here first.  

 As to age , I would rather have 25 y plus SBs if it means “smoother transactions “ so maybe that’s a pointer for me as to what age may be more appropriate . With pros I have tended to see them at 24 - 30 y age group so not a problem there. I once encountered a newbie pro aged 21 or so but I had to ask her for proof of age just to be safe . So definitely not willing to risk that .  

 
Anyways , will definitely keep you posted as things progress — I am hoping for the best

I know , you are  right ! But I am kinda of jaded at this point with the pros . The “spark “ is not there . There were a couple of good ones right where I lived but one moved on to become a real estate agent and the other left town for a full time  Civie job .  

I have been experimenting lately but with poor satisfaction . And being out 400 to 500 bucks each time for the sake of experimentation till I find one that lights up the magic is turning out to be a bad financial strategy .

You can book the room with your credit card (and even your hotel affinity number) and then settle the bill in cash. The credit card is just blocked for the amount of the room; you can use a different card to settle or cash to settle the bill.

Be sure and check the hotel policy.  Even when paying cash, some hotels actually charge your card a $50 deposit and return it after checkout .  The charge and credit will show up as transactions on your billing statement.

from the pros to SBs, I got so into, even addicted, to the SA site and getting the return on the time invested that things started going south for me as a married man.  

The SA game introduces so many more moving parts than the escort world does, and the LE aspect becomes a non-issue. But the moving parts and the lustful, addictive dynamic let me to make mistakes. Two biggies, and I was forced to divorce.  

So, be careful about how you play!

Yeah, way more contact required to maintain a relationship, so more chances to get caught.  

at least that's been my experience.  I sent some $$ to one of my favorite SBs recently via the Walmart to Walmart process.  They insisted on her real name as shown on her id, obviously.  But they also required mine, and she needed to know my full name when she picked it up.  None of this was a problem for me, with her, but it could be for you.  Other branded systems like Western Union or Moneygram could be different, but the Walmart option is cheapest I think.

and once again I know nobody here will take me seriously.  But when I started dating pros 15 years ago I was totally honest abut it with my wife. I talked to her about how much I craved the excitement of some variety in my sex life and how I loved her above all else in my world and had zero desire to trade her in for anyone else and how dating pros would not be a threat to our marriage anyway.  She said ok, go for it, but she had some serious reservations, as you would expect.  Fast forward to today and she is totally comfortable with my Sugar Dating, has met and befriended some of the girls I date, and has a fine BF of her own.  Lots of love and pleasure, zero jealousy or drama.  And our marriage is rock solid.  Talk to your wife.

Sweetman..i was up front with my wife too..great policy..she can't take care of me at her age anymore anyway..lost sexual desire cuz of medical reasons too.. but anyway, not having a picture may cause issues..

When you say the LE aspect becomes a non issue what do you mean by that ? Aren’t there sting operations from fake posters planted on these SB / SD sites as well ?   Thanks

Also because offers to provide, or solicitations asking for prostitution will get you kicked off the side.  

 
But I haven't heard of any such stings by LE on any of the SD/SB sites.  I don't even think about the possibility of walking into an LE sting when meeting a POT SB. It really is a non issue. You run a much higher risk of getting kicked off the site than getting arrested.

I would never consider a wife or significant other relationship that was not totally open and honest.  Some wives/SO's have less sexual needs and support the man using escorts/SBs etc.  I have even known the reverse where it is the woman that is more sexual and man supports her seeking outside.   However, this takes a real love and honest relationship.  

I led a Christian swinging couples group of 350 in Phoenix for many years where most couples had this great relationship and enjoyed meeting other like minded couples.  However, it didn't work for some since the issues of jealousy and insecurity sometimes raise its nasty head.  Usually, it was the man that couldn't deal with it not the women.

Ok , so looks like I will post some pics as otherwise SA demands a hefty monthly premium membership fee to even send messages .  

Another question - so far I have been using this app called sideline which has worked very well w the pros who are generally v disciplined about communication .  

Continue w it ? Or better to get a separate prepaid phone in case I encounter a BSC type SB who will blow up my personal phone with her constant need to contact ?

I definitely use a burner phone for all SA related things.

Also, the SA "upload a picture" thing doesn't give SDs much of anything, I think you still need to pay for premium to actually send and receive messages.  Maybe you can send a handful but not read them, when I last looked the site didn't explain it all that well.  If you're playing in the bowl, $79/month isn't all that much ...

Agree , burner it is ... I will probably leave the phone in my locked glove box so as not to arouse suspicion.  

A  filter (age, body type) on my local oc area yielded 4000 plus results !  It is indeed overwhelming to go through alll this . Luxury of choice. But maybe let them seek me out ? How did you guys start off ?

The filters alone may leave a large number of results, but make sure you then use the 'Recently Active' sort.  Chances are even in a high-population area that the number in your results that are actually showing activity in a relevant window of time - say no more than 3-5 days - is much smaller, probably a few dozen.  Since you're limited to communicating through SAs messages until you get some other contact info, its close to pointless to message SBs who aren't actively logging in and getting those messages.  And although sometimes the older profiles do pop back up looking for new action, the vast majority of them have moved on, or had only signed up to look around for a few days, etc.