Hi all- After some good counsel by a few trusted hobbyists (h/t to The Cat and Jolly Ranger), I’ve used both popular sites to line up two SB meetings next week though they are very different. One is a ‘down to business’ where every detail has been seemingly covered and I feel ready for that one. The other is more of a M&G for a cup of coffee.
I’d love perspectives on the M&G. I have the basics of treating as a date, but wondering other tips to improve conversion rates (realizing this is not one size fits all). For example: - Do I bring a gift? - If so, what’s the preferred approach? Gift card to a VS type retailer or just cash? Assume a greeting card vs a hobby envelope? - Do I give it at the start of the meeting to show good faith or hold until post-festivities (big assumption that not giving a gift at the start will lead to anything)? Or do you even offer up half up front? - If so, how much (Minneapolis market rates)? - Any other insider knowledge I can learn from rather than acting as a complete noob (though I’ve had plenty of hobby experience)? Thanks in advance!
The others on this board have far more experience but here's my advice:
You first need to decide on your goals here: Is this meant as an extension of the hobby (super GFE) or relationship building, The bowl has some pros who don't care but most are looking for a steady or recurring thing. In either case it's still a kind of relationship and date so you don't want to treat the girls as hookers. You may want a "rotation" of babes or one steady gal.
As to your question my view (others might differ) is that no gift is required, that it's a vibe check. You pay for the coffee or lunch and decide mutually if the vibe is there. (Remember she's not a hooker so she can turn you down). You might offer some compensation for travel or parking depending on the circumstances. In rare cases you might decide to go straight to BCD at whatever you negotiate.
The rates will vary both within a region and from place to place but it could be anywhere from 200 to 600 ppm. Some gals will want a weekly or monthly allowance as part of the relationship but most of the guys here will tell you to avoid that.
But even if it's ppm it's still a relationship and an investment of time and energy and money. The girl might ask what you expect.. in my first times I would say I'm ready to spend xxx and probably want to meet 1-2 times a month but without a commitment on either side. I think most of girls doing this are not true pros so don't want to spend a lot of time screening and vetting, they want some extra sugar and a recurring date, which can be a rewarding thing. But lots of options on both sides.
Glad to assist a newbie into the world of The Bowl. I treat the first visit(s) like a job interview and I’m getting to know her and vet her out. There’s no reviews for potential SB, so I watch for red flags. I often do the initial “live” connection via Zoom (burner email account), so I can check out for B&S and other potential issues. As far as the weekly or monthly allowance, like any negotiations, get het to start off with a figure and negotiate in small increments. Remember you can always go higher, but rarely can you go lower. Have fun in The Bowl.
Thanks to Sacramouche and the trusted Jolly Ranger for insights! I’ve had a few dates now and have been having fun in the Bowl. The donations seem consistent with the hobby, but the dates have been marathon events (3 and 5 hours) with fantastic women. I’ve also been stood up and met another SB whose pictures were so misleading I had to fake an allergy to cats to exit before we started…
You seem to be off to a flying start.. well done! The next thing is to decide.. are these one-and-done gals or is there a relationship? Some might explicitly or implicitly expect a regaular visit, but others are happy to be on standby (as the other board members can attest). Because this is dating and not hooking, there's always a certain number of ladies who are looking for a long-term sugar relationship (which could be 3 months or 3 years). And you can decide which way to go.. if you have the cash the possibiltiies are endless.
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