What to make of it?  Any experiences?  Why is this a fetish?  How would one provide a good experience to a tickle fetishist?

Dear SweetJaneHR,

A tickling fetish is like any other fetish - a specific behavior that becomes associated with a sexual feeling in the tickler/ticklee. As to why fetishes are fetishes, you'll have to read John Money's book "Lovemaps" for an in-depth investigation of the topic.

Anything - a person's attributes, an object or a situation can be fetishized. In my own clinical experience, all my fetishist clients have been male, hence I believe that you need a hefty dose of testosterone to be able to associate an otherwise non-sexual phenomenon or item with something that can bring you to orgasm. N.b. that I am saying "object;" I have had a transsexual MTF client who did have a baby fetish and who loved to pee in her (formerly his) diapers and would show up in my office wearing Pampers under her dress. Thus, this is more of a behavior rather than an object, since the sight of a pack of Luvs Diapers in the supermarket aisle did not send her into sexual rapture of any kind. She was a post-op transsexual, so the major source of testosterone had been removed; still, a true fetishizing of something/someone is much more prevalent in males than in females.

Please note that I am conceptualizing tickling as a non-BDSM phenomenon, and also an activity that is NOT viewed as foreplay or a component of intercourse. For some, BDSM includes tickling and in that case, plenty of females do enjoy it. But they don't necessarily orgasm from it or lubricate from it the same way that a man would. And again, there are outliers. I am speaking of the MAJORITY, not anyone in the extreme.

The correct word for a tickling fetish is KNISMOLAGNIA. Wikipedia has a very accessible and excellent explanation of the phenomenon (see link.) As to providing a good experience - just do what he tells you to do. If you are the ticklee, establish a safeword so that you don't pee in your panties or have an otherwise hysterical reaction. Some people can get seriously and/or adversely stimulated from tickling and what begins as laughter may end up in tears and anger. Many people have been tickled as children by cruel playmates and they DON'T ENJOY IT, period. Others have watched on the sidelines as some poor kid has been tortured and felt such excitement that it has become associated with a sexual stimulus (as stated, this happens to males, predominantly). And, since most things can be bought these days, a tickling partner shouldn't be that hard to come by.

It sure beats some more extreme forms of fetishizing, although some of us would rather have root canals than get tickled under armpits or feet for an extended period of time...

the Love Goddess




-- Modified on 5/25/2008 7:03:07 PM

I recall how school yard pals used to talk about (with no authority other than perhaps old Dr. Fu Manchu movies on TV) how Asians would use tickling as a means of torture (among other very deviant forms of torture.)

Today, however, I seem to have outgrown any ability to be tickled.  Many have tried and none have succeeded.  Perhaps my childhood experiences inured me to it?

Here's another odd thing about tickling:

You can not tickle yourself.  It must be done by another.  This would seem to confirm a psycho-somatic aspect to it.

I'm enjoying the mental image right now of everybody attempting to tickle themselves.

I actually can tickle myself in a certain area. Perhaps it isn't so much tickling, but a similar reaction. On my love handles I can barely be touched, rubbed, etc. without jumping away. When I get professional massages, the therapists always have to avoid that area to keep me from jumping off the table. I can actually lightly rub or squeeze that same area myself and get the same response although to a slightly lesser degree. And sometimes I actually make myself laugh by doing so.

I can also tickle myself.  I don't laugh as hysterically as I do when someone else is the tickler; it's a more subdued reaction.  I also have to be in the right "mood" for tickling.

weird for sure.  If I use the tip of my tongue to lightly brush the roof of my mouth it tickles..almost unbearably.  So I don't do it on purpose!

Sometimes when I get a bad cold and I'm really congested..you get that funny "tickle" in the back of your throat...that's when the roof of my mouth is VERY sensitive and if I even brush my tongue lightly on the roof..it drives me nuts.  It tickles, doesn't "hurt."

Ok, enough confessions for now.  Someday I'll tell you about my right big toe.  But not now.

I wanted to post a resolution for posterity, in case someone does a search for tickling.

It was a lot of fun.  We chatted and he told me what he liked.  Spent about an hour just trying as many ticklish places on each other as possible.  Anyone considering accomodating this fetish-- don't be scared or freaked out.  It's pretty cool.