First, let me preface this by saying that I don't have a problem with getting an erection. I can do it myself, and also when it comes to oral, there is no problem. However, when it comes to the act of coitus, there tends to be a little interruptus, if you know what I mean. Not sure whether wearing a condom has anything to do with this or not, and I completely understand the necessity for one. But is this a problem that others have, and if so, what can I do to alleviate it. I am in my 40's, reasonably good shape, with a fertile mind, and eager libido. Please, help me.

I am new to this too. I too am 40 something, in good shape. My first time was rather a failure on my part, I was wood for a while, but once the cover went on, well, not so much.  The next time went much better, but found the cover is still a problem because of sensitivity.  I found I need a provider that will do BBJ, then use the cover and after other maneuvers on our parts, return to BBJ preferably to cim.  Everyone may differ, but it works for me.
Good Luck

Not being able to keep an erection during sex could be a sign of ED. It was with me. Oral is a lot less stress on the recipient than full-on sex. See a doctor and get checked out. There are a variety of health issues that can cause ED and only your doctor is qualified to diagnose them.  
BTW, if it helps, I'm 50 and my libido is stronger now than it ever has been. Still, your body can only do what it can do. With the proper diagnoses and, if needed, the right medication, your body will be able to keep up with your mind for many years to come!

Indeed, lackingwood,

We have gone over this question many a times, so at least you know you're not alone. My response is generally this one:

1. See the doc and get a good workup. This includes a referral to a competent urologist. Don't just take your GPs diagnosis for granted. There can be a zillion things that even a urologist can't answer...but at least they've got a better track record in terms of penile issues. But there could be such diverse factors as high blood pressure, the beginnings of type II diabetes, cardiac issues, etc. Best to get everything thoroughly tested.

2. If you've never previously had erectile dysfunction while wearing a condom, it's even more important that you go see the doc. If condoms have always bothered you, then maybe you ought to switch brand? And please don't use the spermicidal ones, they can irritate the urethral opening and/or cause allergic reactions.

3. What does "reasonably good shape" mean? Ask yourself and compare with stats from 10 years ago. If all of a sudden you've packed on some lbs, that could certainly be a reason. Hit the gym, but don't overdo it in the beginning, please.

4. Performance anxiety is a biggie! Does this happen with sex partners familiar to you, or is it with women you've never seen before? The penis is subject to the big guy upstairs [literally and figuratively, whether it's your cerebrum or what people call God, morality, inhibitions due to early experiences, etc. Practicing relaxation exercises before coitus is always a good idea. Getting with the same lady a few times over may also help. And PLEASE, do NOT masturbate before visiting with a lady. For some, that just kills the deal, particularly if you're of a more mature age where the penis needs more rest inbetween upticks. In fact, I wish a lot of you frisky, older boys would just lay off the pipe and have patience before the real thing.

5. Do any mind-mood-altering substances figure into the equation? Wining and dining can kill erections like crazy. But so can intense exercise to the point of fatigue. Moderation is key. And ANY drugs, alcohol or tobacco prior to a sexual encounter are absolute no-no's when you're dealing with erectile difficulties. You need to be clean as a whistle.

6. Yup. Age. There. I said it. "In my 40s" is not "in my 20s." Your pecker may need some new motor oil, in the form of ED meds to SUSTAIN an erection. Again, please see the doc. AND NO EXPERIMENTING ON YOUR OWN, PLEASE. These are prescription meds for a reason.

Ok, now please dial the doc and give us an update when the time comes,
the Love Goddess

You might want to get your testosorone levels checked.  A lot of guys don't realize this, but that has a huge impact....it could also be circulation...but testosorone levels affect everything.

As a secondary matter, it would be good to be in shape and lose any belly fat...you would be surprised at how that affects the pipes down there.  The stomach fat sends signals to the brain to release levels of estrogen....which is pretty bad.  
It would be good if you consult an endocrinologist and a uroglogist....  A lot of the info above were from medical articles...but I'm sure a physician would know better.

it worked for me, it may work for you.

I had to take Cialis to even see wood before, now I am back to two shots an hour easily all natural.

Good Luck and Good Hobbying!

There's probably even more of a psychological barrier for the hobbiest.  He's had a hard week of meetings or whatever, desparately needs some loving, finally lands a date with an Elysian goddess he's been dreaming about and cant wait to get his nut with her.  Whoa!  Go back about 5 yards and start over, your puttin the bar so high you'll never make it.  Insead treat your appointment like an evening with an old freind, enjoy her company, and just let things happen, dont set yourself up for disappointment.