but more susceptible to them.

The latter could be a lot more trouble than the former too.

You have to keep your wits about you at all times in this hobby.

Boards like this where we can share stories and experience helps.

(still not a love goddess)

Dear iCock,

Here's another example of a question that has been endlessly debated, not just here but among scholars as well. The answer is - it depends. My own clinical and personal observations have led me to conclude the following:

1. If you were damaged going in, you certainly won't be any better going out

2. If you were psychologically sound and emotionally intact, providing won't make a difference

3. If providing has offered mostly benefits and few drawbacks, some women actually GROW in their capacity for empathy, sexual competence and life skills - how about THAT?

And I bet some providers would back me up on this one ANONYMOUSLY, not just to score points among hobbyists!

There have been no long-term studies of women who have enjoyed providing and its benefits; most research is carried out on street prostitutes who generally have gravitated to sex work out of necessity, not out of choice.  From what little formal research exists, it appears that upper echelon providing is like any other job - it has its pluses and it has its minuses. As far as the psychological mechanisms developed to handle the job - they are remarkably similar to those of a therapist who doesn't fall in love with his/her clients, or an emergency medic who doesn't fall apart at seing the most horrendous injuries...or a Catholic priest who doesn't automatically fondle his altar boys . Oops, that last one may be a tricky one, lol.

In all seriousness, however, providing factors affect people very individually.  I personally know many providers who worked for years and then married happily ever after. They don't seem to be any more damaged than the next person, but then again, they were healthy individuals going into the business. Of course it can be argued that damaged women take up sex work for various reasons, but then the entire argument would be moot, wouldn't it?

Same old story, isn't it,
The Love Goddess

We all use them. LG can speak more specifically to your question about providers, given her great research. However, each person can use a myriad of psychological defenses. Some more primitive, and some more mature, given the circumstances. A person more psychologically mature can tend to choose the more mature defenses, more universally.

See attached list of psychological defenses. You will have to click on the next page after reading the first, in order to get the full list.

-- Modified on 4/12/2010 1:14:05 PM

providing seems like a wonderful occupation.  I'm not trying to make light of the question, or redirect this about me.  But I am trying to point out that most jobs carry their own set of risks and providing only gets this sort of question asked about it because it's out of the mainstream.

But just to finish the thought, over the course of my career, I've had an ulcer, frequent severe insomnia from work-related stress, ground my teeth at night, been so exhausted I couldn't sleep even when I wasn't stressed, endured 36-hour flights to go from the US, to Europe and then Asia.  I've also made day trips to Korea and had to perform at both ends of the trip.  I once was so exhausted and jet-lagged that I forgot my name while making a presentation.  I've also been fired twice due to corporate politics resulting in me losing my house and pretty much everything else.

While providers have certain job-related risks, I've yet to meet one that has had to endure the sort of physical and emotional stress and abuse that was part of my job description as a corporate executive.

So yeah, while we're all fascinated with prostitutes, just remember that every job has it's downside and millions of people with regular jobs toil away in obscurity and quiet desperation just to feed their families, never knowing how they'll pay next month's bills.  They experience just as much emotional trauma as anyone.  By comparison, the providers I've known have been much happier and satisfied people.

-- Modified on 4/12/2010 2:28:52 PM

I don't advertise as a "sport fucker" so I tend to attract clients looking for an emotional connection, however temporary. And that's what I try to provide. I enjoy meetings so much more when I'm fully present and emotionally invested, but when you have a full schedule of dates it's not hard at all to let go and say goodbye. If anything, it just makes the money feel more like a gift and I'm more careful with it than money I made at desk jobs.
I don't feel like I have any pyschological defenses to prevent emotional attachment, I just have rules to govern my behavior so that I don't do anything risky like give away personal details that I shouldn't share.

yes!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!