Sorry to hear that, AsianMan. The bowl is better than escorts in many ways, but worse in a few, as you have related.
You asked what would we do? Like a lawyer, I'll say "it depends." If I was experienced, and not too horny at that moment, and there was still time that day to wrangle another SB, I would have sent her on her way with probably no more than Uber fare. If I was super horny with no other likely options that day, I would have done what you did.
One of my worst experiences was also in Chicago (and I was there this week, also). She was super hot, super petite, AA spinner. We didn't have a proper date but she met me at my room. She wanted the money first and I refused (ready to walk away). She was satisfied to "see" the money that I laid out. But then she wouldn't take off any clothes. My spidey senses told me she would grab the money and run for the door, so I simply sent her away and kept the money. I did this mid-blowjob. Kept my money and some of my dignity.
She begged to see me again and I agreed under *my* rules. I kept her clothes after I made her take them off. She only got them back when I was satisfied.
My other bad experience was (in DC) when I handed over the money first. She got peeved when I didn't have wine, and room service wasn't fast enough, and then she said I "scared" her, and she took off. The finishing touch was her shouting "I've got your money" as she walked down the hall of the hotel. Many lessons learned that day.
In your case, you can't ask if she has showered or cleaned her pussy. Of course you can ask for a bikini pic, but I've never done that. With my situation, I can't afford to spend much time asking about body details. (I once met an Asian girl in Manhattan with a glass eye. Hot pics.) I think you did all you could, honestly. You could ask for pics before the meet, but I've always been leery of asking chicks for too many pics.
I guess the best advice is to know when you're ready to end a date in the middle of that date. Know how, and under what conditions, will you just say this isn't working, and send her on her way.
Rockford