I had (have?) a SB who is hing up on what she is worth. She told me 6 weeks ago that I'd never find a girl like her for what I'm paying. GPS. She then disappeared for over a month. Radio silence. During that time I enjoyed the thriving AMP scenes here. About 2 weeks ago I got a text...what's up with you? I think she was surprised I hadn't reached out to her. Yesterday she asked if I've been being a good boy since our last meet. I said of course not. I've seen a few ladies. Actually around 8. She actually got pissed at me! Lol. I told her you disappeared for over a month with no contact and I'm not a monk. So she's coming over this afternoon. I expect for the last time unless she is going to change her "rules". But no contact and competition has made her realize I can take her or leave her under our previous arrangement.
A few weeks ago we talked about some reaching out again. So. Had two old POTs and two old SBs reach out. Over the last few weeks I arranged dates with each.
First. The POTs. Both were AA and I'd say a 7-8 in looks. First one. We did not agree on allowance at first. She wanted 600 I said I wouldn't go above 400 unless we spent a lot of time together. She texted me after months of nothing. We talked on the phone for 30 minutes. Great chat. She seemed like a keeper. Very open sexually. Planned a date for the next Saturday night. I text in the morning to confirm. No reply. Again in the afternoon and nothing m. One final, 'hey not sure what's up but text me if you need to reschedule.'. Next day I send one more text saying that ghosting me isn't cool. If some emergency came up I understand, otherwise thanks for wasting my time. She sends a super long text about how $400 wasn't worth her time for four hours. And that I was boring. Followed by a dozen insults and how her pussy was worth more than that. She said she would spend time on other clients. So I screenshot it and reported her then blocked her number. I don't care if pros are on SA. I do care about wasting my time and being treated like shit.
Second one, we met last weekend. Had agreed on allowance. She didn't drive so I agreed to pick her up. She said her place was fine to be alone. She texts me an address of a hotel. So, I'm thinking she's a pro. I get there, she had to meet me in the lobby because the elevator only works if you have a key going up. She's shit faced drunk. We talk. She continuously repeats herself. Tells me she's not an escort but needs one SD. Overall, I'm thinking she's a 6 in looks but banging body. We have sex once and then talk after. She's still drinking. Polished off a tequila bottle by that point. She asked to go downstairs and if we can drink at the lobby bar. I say sure. She gets belligerent with the bartender. I try to calm her down. Hotel security comes over. I tell him I'll get her to her room and to bed. She eventually goes upstairs and goes straight for more alcohol. I told her she needs to pass out and I'm going to leave. She starts to get sad but I was getting tired and I was not going to crash there. So, decent sex but too much drama.
First old SB and I were seeing each other a little over a year ago. I cut it off because she was getting a bit needy. But she's, super smart, fun and the sex was good. We met for lunch. And she basic explained to me why she was so needy and was over it. And that she missed hanging out with me because we did always have fun together. We go to a BCD at her place. She gained some weight. She already was a little chubby. Now she's bigger. We text a bit after. May see her again.
Last old SB AA 10/10 in body and looks. Sex was always mediocre. She knows she's hot which is the problem. We meet for lunch just to catch up and talk about things. She said she had been thinking about me for a year. On the way to give her a ride home we discussed allowance. She said 800. I said I'd be fine with 600 maybe 650. I did mention the intimacy did have to be better. She knew she was phoning it in before. We go on a date this weekend. Two amazing rounds of sex. Dinner. Conversation. I give her the allowance. And the second she shome she starts complaining it's not enough. I told her I compromised. She was getting 400 before and I gave her 600. She took the stance of 800 or bust. So we agreed to call it there.
So, some good sex. Some great sex. But probably nothing long term unfortunately.
Sounds like you've had to deal with a lot of drama and disappointment. Hope you have a great outcome with your next one!
Brother netnoy,
First, thanks for taking on the "Can they come back challenge!" I'm inferring you spent about $2k (allowance + expenses) and the better part of a week (spread out over time) to cycle through these reincarnations of POT's and SB's.
The test at the heart of the issue: can someone change over time? Looks like in these cases, the answer is "no" - if the individual is not willing to change.
As I experienced lately, a drunk SB is a problem to be avoided at all costs. There is too much potential fallout from trying to "manage" a drunk girl in public or private: Embarrassment, entanglement with hotel/bar/venue security, barf on your stuff, in your hotel room/home, or in your car, lousy or no sex (because she passed out), broken or stained furniture (I now have a wine spill-shaped stain on my living room area rug), etc.
Side issue: I trust we all realize that once your SB is seriously drunk, she can no longer give consent. There's a similar issue (but thankfully not as prevalent) with drugs (including weed when taken too much/often). I'll guess we have all booked a pro at some time who was flying on something when we showed up. And I'll guess none of us ever booked with her again.
The Sugar model, at its core, is predicated on the concept of mutual consent and transparency. We never want to fool or trick a woman into sex or coerce her using false pretenses. Booze and drugs clearly interfere with the ability to grant or even ask for consent.
And then there's GPS inflation. Once you got the "worth" statement, you lost. Full stop. I don't know if you could have discussed your allowance expectations before agreeing to meet. It looks like you did with at least one. Sadly, the GPS lives on, perhaps fueled by social media and so-called "Sugar Baby Influences" who we know are full of shit. Credit to you for not giving in to the GPS pressure out of expediency or "proximity induced lust" (i.e.: You used the big head to decide.)
Appreciate that you shared these with us. It's easy to share the wins. But sharing the mishaps and failures is important as well.
Life is good
The Cat
I had (have?) a SB who is hing up on what she is worth. She told me 6 weeks ago that I'd never find a girl like her for what I'm paying. GPS. She then disappeared for over a month. Radio silence. During that time I enjoyed the thriving AMP scenes here. About 2 weeks ago I got a text...what's up with you? I think she was surprised I hadn't reached out to her. Yesterday she asked if I've been being a good boy since our last meet. I said of course not. I've seen a few ladies. Actually around 8. She actually got pissed at me! Lol. I told her you disappeared for over a month with no contact and I'm not a monk. So she's coming over this afternoon. I expect for the last time unless she is going to change her "rules". But no contact and competition has made her realize I can take her or leave her under our previous arrangement.
Well-played, Sir.
The best (only) way to deal with the "worth" argument is to exclude it from your negotiations. Trying to explain that she is actually not "worth" it, even with detailed market data (what other POT's are asking) and experiential evidence (citing multiple past SB's who accepted much less), will always fail. Telling a woman she is actually not "worth" it is like (in her mind) telling her she is a cheap whore (the irony!).
Keeping your "argument" in support of your offer based on your budget is the way to go, and you must accept the risk that she will walk away. Walking away from you is actually doing you a huge favor, as it lets you stop wasting time "tilting at windmills" (BTW: that was a cheap reference to an expensive blow job LOL!) and move on to someone else.
The reply that you gave is perfect: You might just as well have said something like "Oh hi! I've been so busy I didn't even notice you were gone."
One idea for her farewell performance this afternoon: Give her so many orgasms she nearly passes out. Make sure she knows YOUR worth. LOL.
Life is good
The Cat
Your value is also in consistency. I may not pay the most but I want to see my girls weekly, except for period week. So they make more per month than the guys who pay a lot and are not consistent. Or worse, the ones that want to fuck right now and expect you to drop everything to suck them off.
I'm consistent with you get great conversation, taken out somewhere nice, good sex, and are not treated like a whore (unless she likes that).
Well I tried. Gave her a nice massage to warm her up. Daty to O. Then she used a vibrator on her G spot. Got an unenthusiastic BJ not CIM. A BJ from her is rare. After some chat tried for round 2. Nope she said we both came. Done. Didn't even fuck. She said time is up. Started getting dressed. Several hours later she texted me acting as if we are going back to our previous arrangement. Nope. I have much better options. She was stunned/angry. Oh well.
Time to give her Das Boot!
This is just the reality of the Sugar Bowl.
Whether we end it, or shoe does, eventually there will be a last date. On occasion, we may see a path to try to "save" the relationship, but those paths are almost always unsuccessful. Still, I believe it's worth the attempt, as long as both parties are still acting in good faith. In her case, her priority on cash was orders of magnitude higher than her other goals or needs.
Can't really blame her for that, even though she would probably do better financially with you over the long run. SB's really have difficulty seeing beyond the next pay date... which is probably why they play in the Bowl.
I think you handled this well. She may or may not remember you as a good guy who was always kind and generous. Our experiences here teach us that young women are rarely good at self-reflection or candid self-assessment. But you know who you are and what you did. And you demonstrated that being nice should never be mistaken for being weak.
May be a good opportunity to test the "never burn bridges" strategy. Let's see if somewhere, somewhen down the road she reaches out again. Once she realizes that you are "one of the good ones," she may rethink.
Life is good
The Cat