Had what could have been a close call 2 summers ago and just learned about it.

Met a young cutie, college grad, great body, etc...  From a location that could be considered "the hood", but I don't judge.  She was 45 minutes late for first M&G (I left, but she texted pictures of the daily menu to prove she arrived).  She was also late for the 2nd M&G and I bailed again (red flags).  To her credit, she was apologetic and persistent with communication and finally made it to the 3rd M&G.  Indeed represented herself well, eloquent, applying to grad school in my field of expertise and physically better than her pictures.  Slight red flags were the giant hoop earrings, excessive lip gloss and long fake nails (hood'ish).

We set up a BCD meeting and discussed the importance of timeliness.  She show's up on time, doesn't like my cab and asks if she can go to the hotel bar and get a drink.  I give her a little cash, she leaves her purse in the room and is gone for about 30 minutes.  Now I'm getting a little spooked.  Something doesn't feel right, so I decide to leave.  Grab her purse and go to the bar.  It's mid afternoon at an upscale hotel on a beautiful summer day and there she is sitting by herself on her 3rd Hennessy and coke texting on her cell phone.  I'd only given her a $20 spot (thinking 1 drink), she had a little cash in her pocket, but couldn't cover her third drink, so i closed out the tab (red flag).

She admits that's was extremely nervous (first time SB) and needed the drinks, but convinces me that she is OK.  I suggested that we cancel and leave but didn't put up much of a rebuttal as she wanted to stay.  Return to the room and she is clearly tipsy.  I secured all door locks and think that if anytime she goes for the door I will block and inform her that not only did I take a picture of her drivers license, but already texted the information to 3 of my friends.

Well, the exact opposite happened.  She remained extremely nice and a little submissive.  No one knocked on the door and we had one of the best SB sexual experiences to that point in time.  As I was recovering and gearing up for Round 3, she fell asleep.  Got her a bottle of water, left her in the room, and she eventually made it home safely.  No room charges.

Saw her 2 more times, but her appearance and presentation deteriorated.  On the third and last visit, I was in the hotel lobby when she arrived.  She was talking loudly on her phone, hair was not done well, and she had on a super tight catsuit.  Not a good look.  In the room, she wanted to up-charge me because "I could afford more".  I declined and received a hurried and less than engaged experience.   The last I saw was her walking out of my room, cash in hand and making a phone call.  I hurriedly left.

Recently, I've been recycling SB's with fairly good success.  So I thought about reaching out to the SB above, and of course Googled her name.  Holy shit!  Her long time boyfriend sentenced to 20 years in prison for committing 2 murders during the time of our sugar relationship.  Police found him 3 months later in a different state on the run.  She was with him during the crime and was sentenced to 3 years for conspiracy to cover up.    

I am thankful not to have been caught up in her drama.  Ignored all of the red flags which I no longer do.  Everyone stay vigilant and stay well.

Talk about GHETTO. lol The only thing more ghetto I can think of to drink would be "Cutty and milk" "Chivas and coke" runs a close third. Yes, I used to hang out in Oakland where the entire fucking city is one big ghetto. lol

 
But in all seriousness, it does look like you might have dodged a bullet, but figuratively and quite possibly literally.

There are very real risks involved in this activity and developing your spidey senses to recognize them early in the game is essential.  Thinking with the big head instead of the little one is the way to go, and I've regretted my own failures to do so.  One thing that will tip the balance in your favor is to only date college girls.  This has worked really well for me.  When I think back on my sugar experiences, all my bad ones were with college age girls who were not attending college.  The actual college girls I've dated have provided a variety of experiences, some really excellent like my current #1.  But none have been trouble makers of the sort you describe.  So glad you escaped unscathed and survived to share your experience with us.

Your Spidey Senses are your best defense from scammers and physical danger.  Sadly, most of us need to go through one or more of these types of experiences to develop our Spidey Senses enough to provide consistent protection. After all, nothing teaches success like failure.  

 
I like the idea of favoring college-age SB's who are actually in college, though it's not a hard rule for me.  But I do prefer SB's that have some non-sex work, or non-Sugar work income from parents, or some type of legit job.  These SB's are looking for supplemental cash, a taste of a higher lifestyle and some fun with a nice, safe guy.  

 
The SB's who are flat broke and only get cash through other illicit activity like selling drugs, robbery, fraud, etc. are going to treat you like a mark, not a Daddy. A variation of this is SB's with a baby-daddy who is a gangster, crook, etc. Just treat these SB's like pros with a pimp, and proceed carefully, or better yet, move on.  

 
The timeliness issue to me is a BIG red flag, especially early on.  It shows a total lack of respect for the mutually-beneficial nature of sugar dating, and is (almost always) a sign that she's going to see you as a walking ATM that requires a BJ rather than a PIN to get her cash. I've rarely seen an SB fix this behavior, and I've dumped more than one because of it. Not because I didn't have an extra 45-90 minutes of time available. But because it says she's not in it for the Sugaring experience, she's only in for the cash.  That's not necessarily bad, if you just want a BCD 'pump-n-go' from her. But if you planned a full date - dinner, movie, wine tasting, going to a party, etc. - and made reservations - her lack of promptness can ruin the day when you have to try to adjust all your plans on the fly - just because she decided watch one more episode of the Kardashians before leaving her apartment.  

 
So thanks for sharing this with the board. Good lessons for the rest of us.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Wow, thanks for sharing. Always a good reminder to not ignore the red flags and your own spidey senses. We sometimes think with our southern brain. Glad you are safe and didn’t get caught up in her drama or even far worse than just drama...