Thank you for your vote of confidence 5terrance1939,

As you know, this is a public service and anyone can come on this board and ask a psychosexual question. In your case, however, you have assessed your issues correctly - antidepressants and BPD meds play absolute havoc with your sex drive and erectile function.

If your psychiatrist is not comfortable discussing this topic, then you need to change psychiatrists, pure and simple. DO NOT HESITATE, JUST DO IT. Because she, by virtue of avoiding the topic, is not giving you the 100% corrective care that you need. As a mental health professional, she is more than cognizant of the side effects of said meds - not only that, she knows how to manipulate dosages, supply alternatives and monitor the changes; if she avoids doing so, however, only because she is "uncomfortable talking about it," then ask her for 3 referrals and find someone else.

Going to a urologist or general practitioner is not advisable in this case, because the main source of your dysfunction lies in psychoactive meds best administered by a psychiatrist. Sure, you could go to an internal medicine specialist and have a hormonal test battery to rule out an androgen deficiency - indeed, at age 40 it's not an impossibility, although still rather remote.

There are various antidepressants and BPD meds that work differently in the body; new ones come on the market and sexual side effects needn't be a problem. But she needs to get on it and start supporting your quest for change. If not - SHE needs to change or you go somewhere else, period.

If you live in SoCal, I can recommend several sex-positive psychiatrists; if not, at least go to www.aasect.org and see if there's an MD listed for your city/state.

Good luck to you,
The Love Goddess

I hope this isn't viewed as touting for my friend but I have a very close male friend who has a male medical practice in Beverly Hills. I am AMAZED at what they can do!  There are meds and even injections (they compound them, not the usual pills) and will test your erection within 10 minutes of giving you a sub-lingual med. They can control the firmness, length of erection, it's insanely cool!

I'm trying to convince him to start offering the G-Spot enhancing injection, I have an incredibly reactive G-spot anyway but I am still not good with multiple orgasms and curious if that would help
Yes, I am greedy!

Good luck. Me and my BFF have both broken up with men we truly loved over lack of sex and bad short sex. Keep searching for a solution, you deserve intimacy and lots of it!

BB

LG, BB:
    It just amazes me that this "community" cares so much about each other.  I really appreciate your responses.  Unfortunately, I live in the Midwest, not So Cal.  The problem isn't with my psychiatrist, it's me.  I'm the one that's uncomfortable talking about.  I'd never know if she is uncomfortable or not.  In fact, she'd probably be okay with it or she would haven't chosen this profession.
  Isn't it strange that I started of thinking of urologists or some such right away instead of going to the psychiatrist since I really do suspect the drugs she's giving me.  It never occurred to me that she might have other arrows in her quiver.  All I know is that the stuff she has been giving me keeps me alive and functioning, actually functioning at a pretty high level I must say.
  I even considered calling Mayo in Rochester, MN, a reasonable drive from Chicago, but that's incredibly expensive and probably not covered by my insurance.  If I could save up the money though I'd do it in a minute.
  But your advice is invaluable, particularly in its simplicity.  The burden is on me to get up the nerve to talk to my psychiatrist or find one I can talk to.
  In the meantime, if anyone knows of a psychiatrist in the Chicago area that works with BPD and sexual dysfunction I'd be grateful for the name.  I think I'll also post this on the Chicago board where someone might spot it.
  Many thanks.  They say what goes around comes around.  I hope it comes around for you.
Terry

Always remember plenty of DATY.  Your wife will likely tell you, exactly how she likes it.

This will help increase your sex drive...

the little red pill called Love Unlimited.  Did wonders for my husband and many of my clients.

See link below...

-Rani

with my doctor either...  THIS IS IMPORTANT!!   Your ability to function in your marriage is at stake.  The meds you are discussing need to be tapered on & off of.   It may take some time.  Get started.   Do not be discouraged.  It may take some trials.   Lay it out for your doctor.  Either she'll get with it or she'll refer you.  
I was seeing a specialist (a different speciality than you) the F/M MD had nothing more for me.  About 60 seconds later she offered me a referal.   I never looked back.
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