Hi LG,
I've been having a problem lately with being able to cum while receiving a handjob from my girlfriend.
No problems with getting and staying erect but for whatever reason I just can't have an orgasm or ejaculate.
The first time it happened I just wrote it off to being tired from a long day. Now it's happened 2 more times and I can't figure out why. When I masturbate it never seems to be an issue, and I don't masturbate all that often. The only things that come to mind are:
Sometimes between my arousal/erection we take too long to get to the handjob, usually because I'm working on getting her off first.
Lack of sexual interest in her? I find that a bit harder to believe since I'm obviously aroused and been able to cum before.
She is still learning how to give a handjob and please a man that way so her technique is sometimes a bit off. We do use just enough lube or lotion to make it comfortable and it all feels good but still. We don't do this every night so its not as if we overdo it either.
Dear jsubed,
Since this has become an issue for you, it's time to break your patterns. Forget about the handjob for a while, forget about her "learning how" and let her do something she's really good at (maybe blowjob?). Clearly, you have some very specific ideas of what gets you off in terms of handjobs and yes, there may be a learning curve for her.
On the other hand (no pun intended), if it is a handjob, then let it be a handjob and not something that gets interrupted in the middle of the action. If it's about you, then it's about you and not about her. And maybe you can show her exactly how you do it to yourself - after you've stayed off the handjob project for a couple of weeks, maybe a month.
Switch to BBBJs for a while and have more fun,
The Love Goddess
Great advice LG.
I learned this from a provider once who asked me to show her how I did it. She picked up on my technique instantly and I got off in a few minutes.
My wife's blow jobs were always mediocre until she read Jenna Jameson's book which has a page of describing how to give the perfect blow job.
Since then I have yet to find a blow job equal to my wife's.
I think HJs should not be too long or slow or the urge will wane for me. My AFT will switch up to a different technique but others just can't get it done sometimes. I think HJs are best short term & focused on getting it done.
Lastly, there is a web site www.handjobadvise.com (by a lube company of course) that can make some fun of it. Watch it together & pick something new to try.
skb
HJ's are underrated. If you've got the skills, like a good FBSM lady, a HJ can be just as pleasurable as any other activity and it should be easy to make you come.
My ex-wife would always give me a HJ or a BJ during her period as a nice way to keep me happy. She seemed to really enjoy making/watching me cum, since she had complete control and could do whatever she wanted to me.
Any woman that learned what's on that website should be able to make any guy happy.
I appreciate the feedback and since my girlfriend is very very no sex before marriage, unless I can find a way to convince her otherwise to go to BJ's or farther, handjobs is all I'm going to get. I've almost got her to the point where I might be allowed to perform orally on her but no cigar as of yet. I just feel bad and embarrassed that I can't or don't always cum for her. She feels bad too since she wants to please me to the extent that she is willing to go before marriage. I get her off with my fingers no problem.
And before anyone comes out bashing about the no sex, it's one of the things I love about her. This is the woman I fully expect to marry and have in my life for many many years.