In a recent thread, netnoy said "I do like girls being exclusive to me.  Prevents drama and disease."  Which got me thinking.  Looking back at the many dozens of SBs I've had, I don't know of even a single one who did not also have other men in her life while she was dating me.  Some had husbands or civvy BFs, and some had other SDs. And some swore they were only dating me but since they were also dating my good buddies I knew they were fibbing!  I just assumed this was always the case and would always be the case and I came to understand there are many benefits to me when a girl is not relying on me for 100% of her needs, either sexual, emotional or financial.  It gives me more freedom to see several others concurrently without feeling as if I'm neglecting any of them.  And of course I am always crystal clear with them that I do have other women in my life, so there's no deceit going on.  As long as they are happy to see me when we do get together, I'm happy they have other sources of $ and pleasure when I prefer to date someone else. It avoids any one of them becoming too needy and clingy.  That's the kind of drama I always seek to avoid and which I think would be more likely to occur if any SB was actually exclusive with me.  As for the disease risk, I almost always practice safer sex and use condoms.  The only exception to that rule was with one recently ended  2 1/2 year arrangement with a girl I trusted completely.  We agreed to go bareback exclusively with each other, and to return to using condoms if either of us went bareback with anyone else.  It worked well.  So what are your thoughts about exclusivity?  Would you like a SB to see you and only you?  Would you want to be dating only one at a time? Or are you a slut like me and want many arrangements at once?

Been seeing this hot Asian off and on for 2 years. I originally met her friend on SB who suggested I meet my now SB. We started at 500pm. After awhile I told her I can be steady st 500 so we were doing  400.  She claims she sees no one else. I've flat out told her she needs to find a richer SD but she says she doesn't want to do that.  Ok.  So I saw her about a week ago. She's got her toys going. I give her a massage with oil. Get her all lubed up then she asks for the big anal plug. After several body shaking Os I ask if I can fuck her in the ass. She says ok but that's an extra 100. Seems very hooker like to me? Amazingly I  told her I didn't have it and she said well your already in my ass. She took it like she's done this before.  A lot. Lol. My thinking is she's an UTR escort.

I like variety like everyone else but I admit that my preference is to be exclusive for the fantasy of a hot young woman only fucking you and if we go bare (a must if we are exclusive) avoids any STDs. Also for me exclusive includes birth control as well. Both things are very important if you are married like me. On the other hand like mentioned, it is easier to develop feelings for each other, I guess there is no perfect scenario.

I tend to agree with Papa Sweet's ideals; I don't want to ever be an SB's sole source of monetary, emotional, or sexual support.   My rationale may be a bit more pragmatic though.  

 
Exclusivity tends to suggest reliance and dependance on me to ensure her needs are met - all of them - even if she develops needs beyond the boundaries of our arrangement.  I don't want to be her 1st (or 2nd, 3rd, or more) call when she has a serious need or emergency.  Nor do I want - let alone expect - her to devote all her otherwise free time to me.  In addition, I know I will never be willing (or frankly able) to cover all of the expenses needed to support the lifestyle she wants to live through her endeavors from Sugar and "civilian" means (i.e.: a job, parent support, etc.). If I really want an SB to be "on call' for me 24x7 I should be willing to fund all of her needs all of the time (I think that's called a wife. .  Finally, if (let's face it, when) the arrangement ends, I don't want her to face serious issues like losing her car or being evicted due to the loss of my allowance to her.  

 
Having said all that, I always explain before we make an agreement that I will not ask her to be monogamous with me. I explain that I feel I have no right to control her time or activities when we are not together. I only ask that we both ensure we are keeping each other safe when going BCD.  Even so, many of my SB's have told me at some point that I am their only SD. Interestingly, I've been told this at the beginning of an arrangement, as well as after we have been dating for a while.   Note that I generally do not tell her that I am seeing other SB's, nor do I deny it if asked directly.  When I explain that what she does when we are apart is none of my business, they generally get my implication that the reverse is true as well.  

 
Finally, the concept is situational and dynamic. Obviously, my porn star SB's are fucking other guys (for work) and are probably (make that certainly) seeing other SD's (and let's face it escort clients) as well.  One of my SB's has a long-term BF.  Their relationship is rocky, and she sometimes asks me for relationship advice (which she generally ignores. LOL).  Another SB, told me after we had a few dates that she dropped her other SD.  She said she just didn't like him and was glad she found me.  Predictably, she spends more time and effort communicating with me between dates (pics from her day, sexy pics, notes on family events, etc.) and has basically told her mother that she has a BF who is much older than she is.  (It's an Asian family and I'm speculating that age-gap relationships in her culture are not too unusual.)  

 
So where does all that leave me: I do not want to have, and I do not want to ask for exclusivity.  

Final note: I always assume my SB is fucking someone else, and I assume that she stays with me PRIMARILY for the money.  My test of this theory is simple: Would she still date me if I stopped giving her allowance?  Yeah... didn't think so. LOL  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

I'll explain my stance.  If I need a quick lay, there are plenty of escorts and I wear a hat each time.  When I go to sugar sites, I look for one of two things.  A girl who is essentially an on call escort or someone to see for more than just sex.  The quick lay and escort part is pretty simple.  Anything purely BCD falls in this category.  

The rest may take some more.  I like going out to dinner, shows, bars with hot women.  I like talking and texting between dates.  And I like sex without a condom.  I've been cheated on by a SB before who swore we were exclusive.  Found out by getting a STD.  Fortunately, curable.  So, I can't guarantee a girl is not messing around.  But when caught, the cut to their pay hurt them way more than me.

I won't say it's a power game, but I'm paying the rent for a SB or two.  Cutting that off at the end of the month with no rent money if they fuck up is kind of nice.  Granted I risk paying rent and her ghosting me for three weeks till rent is due again.  I'm also very clear on expectations.  I don't hide it, she shouldn't hide what she wants  

To each their own.  If you guys like it open and everyone consents have fun!.

You know what you want and how to get it.  Props!  No judgement, to each his own!

Gave new SB candy a few days ago for V-Day.  As she hosts, I see another box of candy on the dining room table.  Oops.  I looked at it, and she immediately responds that she bought it on sale after V-Day (we met 2 days after).

Highly unlikely.  Didn’t ask, and don’t want to know, but maybe covering up going forward. Whoops.