I was able to finally able to meet this very hot girl on a date after she was initially very nervous meeting.
When we first started talking she asked: "So nothing sexual is necessarily required until agreed upon, if at all? " That was about a week ago. Saw her today and seemed to have a nice connection meeting for coffee and talked for about an hour. She definitely seem to have calmed her nerves after meeting. She messaged me after we talked a bit with: "And we can certainly talk about allowance! I don't need anything super crazy, but whatever helps to pay some stuff off lol" Now I am trying to think of a nice way to metion being intimate without scaring her off. Anyone have suggestions on how to hopefully transition this smoothly, without sounding creepy to her?You might want to tell her your idea for your next meeting with a note like this:
So I would love it, if you are ready, if we can spend some time together next Saturday. I'd like to take you for a wonderful dinner/drive up the coast/movie/picnic/etc. at one of my favorite (whatever area) and then we can head back to my place for some indoors time. I'd be happy to help you with some bills or other expenses at that time. Would 300 help you?
If we agree to meet like this two or three times a (month, week, ??) I'm sure we can help each other and have fun at the same time.
Optional escape clause if you think she may balk:
If you want to take it slower, we can meet for coffee/drinks again and take time to get to know each other better. Once we both feel ready, we can move forward with more adult fun and a suitable allowance.
I would hold off talk about future sessions until after I've checked out that the chemistry is right.
Finally, after months of working the sugar bowl, I am finding women from 23-33, about five more lately, who are so eager to get started (i.e., get sugar income) that they actually suggest the bcd time for, or at, the initial meet and greet.
JD, with an amazing body, Just wasn't ready for fun at the second meeting, took my money, and later texted that she'd like to meet again (hasn't happened). LM wanted to go really slow, and only allowed petting, some way into the arrangement, so that was dropped.
A good number seem to think that they are going to get money for no intimacy; some say so on their profile but many only reveal that in messaging. Some are so new this is their rookie mindset, and others have fielded messages for weeks or months, yet still hope to find that slow/no sex SD, despite their experience.
So, what I am saying is, the hype gets millions to sign up, and, quite predictably, you will find they span the spectrum in what "sugar" they are intent on providing. And their decisions on this can evolve slowly or quickly, or not at all. Given this variability, I believe you play your cards totally to meet your own needs, and not read these threads with the experiences of others as rigid templates.
Are you willing to consider another face to face meeting to tie intimacy with "allowance", as opposed to doing it in a message? The risk here may be spending more money without getting bcd that round. Yet it might be more effective with this particular woman. But reading the body language and being convincing with your own can be a help, too. As always, with all of the suggestions here, YMMV.
Thanks for advice guys. I offered if she wanted to meet for lunch/dinner again to take it slow and get more comfortable with each other then start with an allowance once she feels ready.
even before the initial meeting for coffee. I always describe my ideal arrangement and that description contains a discreet but obvious reference to sex. If she says that sounds great, I'll take the next step and invite her to meet me. If she says she's not comfortable with the idea of having sex, then I don't waste any more time/energy/resources. There are so many young SBs who really like having sex with us guys that there's really no point wasting time on the others.