OK, I must fess up that the thread title is meant as a teaser in order to whip up some new interest on here (threads rather die out quickly as there are only a few of us actively contributing on here). I have confessed a few times in the past, based on my own personal experiences, musings and disappointments that most relationships which start off as quid-pro-quo will fall flat on their faces when the allowance/financial aid for intimacy ingredient gets neglected or eradicated. My comments and sentiments are purely based on Sugar Bowl as I never pursued such possibilities when I was knocking boots with hookers.

The disappointment and the adverse feelings which NatSherman had previously brought about and his second guessing and propensity for revisionism got me thinking that since we will all go through this phase (as I both had gone thorough in the past and also will in the future) why not discuss and reflect upon what will stack the deck against such likely inevitability raising the odds of prolonging an exciting relationship with your fave SB. No matter as to how long and how hard I muse over this, I still come up with the two tried and tested techniques!

1- Do not change the terms of your arrangement too drastically, specially by moving too fast toward changing the terms to conventional even if you have an insecure (often much younger) SB with low self-esteem who has "fallen" for her SD or the SD is so refined and in the upper echelon of the society that the (mercenary and gold digging) SB has employed a ploy to move faster toward a conventional relationship. In closing, I firmly believe in allowance being a pillar of this method so if any or both parties try to take that pillar out, the relationship shall collapse. Now many may disagree with me on this and argue that "hey if the SB who is a consenting adult wishes to give it up for free, why would I volunteer to pay for it?" which is a valid point, but my counter point is "consider where you met her and what the rules of the game are". Enough said!

2- Don't move too fast! Women are very visceral in terms of their logical system and although they may pretend to be keen on something more substantive than NSA (some even loathe those terms because they think that it is too "hookerish"!) they are often hiding their true motivations and IMHO the notion that "proximity breeds contempt and distance makes the heart grow fonder" would be a great motto to bear in mind.  

I have started to firmly apply the above to my own relationship with The Unicorn which only last week I thought we were at the brink of falling off the edge of the proverbial cliff and surprisingly, it seems like things may have stabilized. I am still under no delusion that I am the only SD or FWB but I have shown her that I can be relied upon and counted on where and when it matters. I am still NOT offering unconditional allowance and if she skips one and ONLY one time slot from our understanding without making good on her end of the deal, it will be no more the same understanding which we had originally entered into (note that I didn't say finished) and in the future it would shift to PPM once the remuneration has been settled and will remain PPM till trust gets restored (if and when, which will be hard).

In closing, if you are much older with a considerable age gap and are looking for a hot/young GF without much gold digging, please remeber the holly trinity rules that you can only have two out of the three! So be sane and rational.

Lastly, again I am not a VIP paid member on here so I'm unable to respond to PMs. Apologies!

I re-read my own post and wanted to clarify something about not moving too fast which is the underlying message of my OP specially since I mentioned it twice! The first one relates to changing the allowance dynamics and the change in the arrangement while the second refers to having discipline and in an anti intuitive way making yourself less available to the SB. I think that pacing yourself will pay better dividends in the long term because your competition on SA as far as POT SDs go is comprised of insecure, bullying, possessive stage 5 clingers! Be the King of Cool and if you are constantly worried about losing the SB to someone "better", you've already lost and don't know it yet

Don't fool them, don't scam them, say what you mean and do what you say. Most may even come back if you lose them to attrition because there are some low brow SDs on that site!

Your first post was a little confusing and meandering, and I did not get the points from it you made here. I agree totally about holding back a little, letting her want you and set the pace. Yes, you can pester or bully a woman into seeing you, but it is not going to turn out well if you want to keep seeing her.

As for the main issue - changing the deal, my thoughts are pretty simple.

1. Know what you want and what is important to you.
2. Find someone who is offering, and likes, what you want.
3. Enjoy.
4. If you know longer like what she is offering and want something different, find someone new who is offering that.

It is tempting and we all have done it - you find a hot women you are really attracted to and chase her like hell. Then once you catch her you suddenly realize all the things about her (or the arrangement) that are not what you want, but she is still hot as hell so you set about trying to change her, try to convince her to do the things you want. It will work for a while if she likes you. But just like badgering a woman into seeing you, I have never seen this end well. Happy to list the reasons why if you need them, but I will start with the simple fact that you are pretty much criticizing who she is when you try to change her. Who wants that?

If you want a GF, look for someone who is open to something beyond sugar. Don't find someone who just wants a fuck buddy and then fall for her and try to change her. Yes, it certainly is true that many women do not really know what they want, just like guys. But betting that she does not know what she wants and so she will end up wanting what I want is still a losing bet. Unless what I want is a confused, emotionally immature person. For me, that might be fun for a date or two if she is really hot, but then I am moving on.

And I definitely do not want to stop paying my SBs. If one of them suggests that, I will be happy to discuss it before I move on. But I can't see it ending any way other than me stopping seeing her. Maybe if I was single, I would have a different opinion, but I want an SB, not a SO. Definitely not a SO. And if I was single and wanted a SO, I am pretty sure I would not be looking for one on SA. Yes, I am sure you can find one there, but a dating site seems a much better choice.

Been nice visiting, guys. Fly by over, and out.

zig