I am sure this has come up in some other threads but thought I'd create a new one. Have met with an SB a few times now. We've done the deed and it was fine but overall, just not feeling it. She's much younger and I don't have an intellectual connection, she has some odd personal pursuits that I have mixed feelings about and seems a little lost and I am not really looking to be a mentor. The problem is that she is feeling it and nagging for a follow-up. Would love to hear any thoughts on how you've broken it off. I'm not a mean guy so not really looking to be harsh in my exit strategy. My working solution is just to say that I've enjoyed the time together but not sure I am ready to move forward in a more regular fashion at this time and just leave it at that.
I think I am looking for some creative, Seinfeld type of advice here along the lines of "it's not you, it's me". Any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.So, that's what I am suggesting you do to break up: Nothing
Then block them so that they can't see when you're on SA. Tell her it was great fun (white lie) but you have too many other time commitments that you are locked into and you don't have the bandwidth.
I think you have the line you need to deliver. Doesn't have to be harsh, just honest and move on.
The other route and probably the one used most often is the "ghost". Just block her on SA, block her texts, her e-mails, and disappear. Probably the most spineless way to go, but its effective. Hell the women use that technique all the time
The Rat has articulated some of the favorite methods which women use to break up, but since you have stated that you are no "mean" person, perhaps you have the proclivity for letting things drag on more than you really need for them to!
My advice would be that from the beginning to hold their feet to that often and overstated "NSA" terminology which most, if not all, POT SBs seem to be very fond of using! For that reason, I would like to exercise my NSA card at anytime when I wish to, just like they would in a NY second on you, when I am no longer feeling it with the said SB particularly when I don't "owe" her anything having meticulously abided by the terms of our agreement.
Interestingly in my case, I have been avoiding my own most recent SB (used to be referred to as the Uni) for a variety of reasons but mostly because I had not been too happy with her in the last couple of months, so much so that now she's texting me after 2-3 days of not hearing from me (it was very usual that we would text a few times a day in the past, mostly initiated by me). In her last text message she even brought up the question of finances and as to whether I was still OK with the original arrangement or whether I was considering a "change". Since I had felt that was a leading and loaded Q, I deflected and told her that all such matters must be discussed in person (texting BS is just that, i.e, BS!). The funny thing is that I know with 99.999% certainty that she sees other SD(s) and I am the one who no longer has anyone else on his roster because I had decided to stay on the sidelines till at least end of Jan or early Feb.
My final advice would be to stick to your defined principles and if you have in all earnest manner paid her and have committed to your end of the bargain, there is no reason as to why you can not just say that you longer feel the attraction or the desire to carry on (again that darn NSA). Good luck OP.
I told one of my recent SBs that I'm combing the area for an NSA FBuddy with zero financial demands on me--other than some drinks and appetizers.
It reversed the downward trajectory in her performance.
My advice would be that from the beginning to hold their feet to that often and overstated "NSA" terminology which most, if not all, POT SBs seem to be very fond of using! For that reason, I would like to exercise my NSA card at anytime when I wish to, just like they would in a NY second on you, when I am no longer feeling it with the said SB particularly when I don't "owe" her anything having meticulously abided by the terms of our agreement.
Interestingly in my case, I have been avoiding my own most recent SB (used to be referred to as the Uni) for a variety of reasons but mostly because I had not been too happy with her in the last couple of months, so much so that now she's texting me after 2-3 days of not hearing from me (it was very usual that we would text a few times a day in the past, mostly initiated by me). In her last text message she even brought up the question of finances and as to whether I was still OK with the original arrangement or whether I was considering a "change". Since I had felt that was a leading and loaded Q, I deflected and told her that all such matters must be discussed in person (texting BS is just that, i.e, BS!). The funny thing is that I know with 99.999% certainty that she sees other SD(s) and I am the one who no longer has anyone else on his roster because I had decided to stay on the sidelines till at least end of Jan or early Feb.
My final advice would be to stick to your defined principles and if you have in all earnest manner paid her and have committed to your end of the bargain, there is no reason as to why you can not just say that you longer feel the attraction or the desire to carry on (again that darn NSA). Good luck OP.
because I really hate it when I'm on the receiving end. I prefer some sort of closure and I think the women do to. I hink it's fine to sy that you've simply got too much on your plate right now.
Text her and say you're not sure when you'll be able to see her again. Then, delay getting back to her, eventually block her on SA.
I'd tell her that some stuff has come up with work and an SB vibe just isn't resonating at the moment for you.
I think it best to cut ties versus simply go dark.
Us married guys always have the, "going to try to get it relit with my wife," way out. Good luck.
And getting away to see her was going to be too hard. She lived 70 minutes from me.
You are thinking you can use normal ways of doing that. But you probably are dealing with BSC lady so.....
Ghost!
I have met with this 22-year-old stripper from Baltimore for about three times now. Not much connection so the conversations seem forced, sex is so-so (she is not very experienced), and her body is getting a bit chubby due to lack of work at the strip club over the holidays. The only thing that keeps me semi-interested is her face. She has a beautiful face so at least I enjoy looking at her face when we talk and when I f*ck her in mish (LOL). She is in need of money now because the business is very slow so she's been texting me every week. I think I will just tell her I got busted by my SO so I will have to lay low for a while. After my debacle on WYP, I think I will take a break from the Sugar Bowl. My SA membership just expired so the timing is right.
A lot of thoughtful responses and they are giving me food for thought. Appreciate the help, gents!
I think I am looking for some creative, Seinfeld type of advice here along the lines of "it's not you, it's me". Any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.
And have to give it a try for the sake of the kids.
I think I am looking for some creative, Seinfeld type of advice here along the lines of "it's not you, it's me". Any thoughts are welcome and appreciated.