I'm not sure if this is appropriate for this board, but I really don't know where else I can get decent advice from anyone.  

My sister-in-law is hot,and has shown attraction and flirtition to me in the past.  I've never done anything with her as I was concerned that she would "talk" with my wife.  I have explored a little to see if anything would get relayed back to my wife.  Each time I explore, I go a little further, and so far nothing has come back to my wife.  I think my sister-in-law is wants it as bad as I do, and I believe that we share a mutual attraction.

My question is whether I should pursue an affair with my sister-in-law, or should I stop while I'm ahead?  I think I've already have made up my mind on this, I just want to hear someone else's opinnion.  I know the ramifications of getting caught.  So far, I've been very careful and taken it very slow.

Normally I'm the least sarcastic person on this or any other board, but I just can't believe that you can consider this and try and find some justification by coming on here.

Sure, if you are ready to destroy your marriage (and incidently your bank account) and the relationship between your wife and her sister, and God knows how many more relationships in the family, go right ahead.  I hope it is fun, because it won't be fun for very long.

What you need to do instead is find a provider who looks similar to your sister-in-law and pay to have sex with her.

That's what this whole TER site is about by the way.

This way you will be able to have your fantasy and keep your marriage and the rest of your family relationships in tact.

Think with the big head, not the little one.

I am curious, Mrgti989,

to find out if your sister-in-law is seriously the only woman [besides your wife, of course] that you have EVER found yourself attracted to. Or, is she one in a bunch of many, and she just happens to be conveniently in your immediate proximity? Or is it - as you point out in your posting - that SHE "has shown attraction and flirtation to me in the past," irrespective of, and clearly unmotivated by, any advances YOU made toward her?

The next question then becomes, are you feeling deficient and suffering from low self-esteem, in the sense that you feel so starved for female attention [again, aside from any attention coming from your wife] that you are ready to engage in what most would consider a complicated and potentially destructive relationship? And, if you really aren't hot for your wife any longer, why don't you just divorce her? Why are you hanging on to someone you're not "into," and instead hungering for your sister-in-law?

You see, in this case I'm less concerned about your motivations and more concerned with hers. Not to be crass, but you're probably just a horny guy among billions of males on this earth. But your sister-in-law? What's wrong with her? Why has she fixated on you? And does it mean that just because she - for some unknown reason to us - is in the midst of working out some psychologically tortuous sexual issue, you should immediately volunteer to be her extramarital guinea pig?

My hunch is that you are being had, my dear friend. Set up. And it will be your loss in the end. My educated prediction is that she'll engage sexually with you and then she'll dump you like a hot potato. Because someone who "flirts" with her brother-in-law is in serious psychological turmoil, mark my word. I don't know what's eating this creature, but I would definitely advise you not to become embroiled in her drama. Because there will be - perhaps to her satisfaction, and to your...ultimate nightmare.

You see, the majority of women who are having extramarital sex want out of their marriage, and will terminate it "emotionally" by going elsewhere. This is a common fact and is supported by research. Men may stray out of search for variety, excitement, etc., but when women start playing around, they do so because they have made more or less of a resolution to leave the marriage. Nota bene that she could also be "retaliating" toward her husband who may have had extramarital relations which she has become privy to. In that case, there is even less reason for you to engage, as you will be used as the fall guy and not much more. In any case, it is clear that she has little regard - justified or not - for her partner/husband, your wife, and conceivably even you.

Now, if this blows up in everyone's face, guess who will get 100% of the blame: YOU. This is because we still live in a male-dominated society and it would be easy enough for her to shift the responsibility of this 'unholy alliance' onto you and your 'male predatory instincts.' Now, are you willing to potentially become the "destroyer of a family" just for some simple nookie? Cuz baby, when that wind starts blowing, it will be an icy gale force and you'll be left standing outside.

Of course, if you don't care one iota about your own marriage, or hers, and you think this is it and you're going to run away together and create something permanent, by all means, discuss it with her and appear in front of your dumbstruck spouses like an honest, mature couple. But this type of dicking around benefits no one. And like I said...you could either become someone's next little experimental sex toy in preparation for the grand exit...or, you could be cast as the super-villain who wrecked everything for two couples and potentially their offspring.

Rethink this in a SANE manner, please,
the Love Goddess

-- Modified on 1/23/2008 1:36:37 AM

...very interesting (and contrasting) data about the motivating factors in affairs, LG.

Thanks!

Does your sister-in-law have a web site? Reviews? If not, go find someone who does and have a ball! That's a large part of the reason why we pay our hard earned/saved $$$. Much less risky!

Mrgti, listen closely to what L.G. has to say!
I know of at least three different couples, in which the man was in your position, and the men
chose to have sex with the sister in law.

What happened in all three cases, is a complete nightmare!
One of the men that I speak of, happens to be my
EX wifes brother in law, who had sex with my Ex wife's youngest brothers, Then Wife.

Both the sister, and brother, divorced their spouses, and the two cheating husband, and wife
of the sister, and younger brother, eventaully shacked up together, and then broke up.
The dumb ass brother in law, atttempted to get back with his ex wife, and of course she just laughed him to the trash can. LOL

Not a good idea! at least in my eyes.

you're a dead man.

My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married.
My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream!  There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister.  

My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear.  It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else.
One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations.

She was alone when I arrived.  She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome.  She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister.  I was in total shock and couldn't say a word.
She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me."

I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me.  I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door.  I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car.  My future father-in-law was standing outside.  With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test.  We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.”

The moral of this story is: "Always keep your condoms in your car"

**********
This joke is funny because the fantasy about doing the sister in law is common.  Like LG said it is more likely our inquisitor is being set up than it is the SIL really wants to have sex with him.

The only upside to the whole thing is if you could get in a little rodeo sex with your wife before she found out...

Go for it. There's nothing wrong with having a little something on the side.

I say go for it. Give her the ol' welcome to the family.

I am new to this site and just doing a little proding around, but I couldn't help myself on this one. LOL

self delete

-- Modified on 11/14/2008 4:17:57 PM