Ok this is a little revealing but......I have a hard to popping and the for mentioned thread has brought my problem to light. I am in my late fifties and love a beautiful, witty, personable woman.I love sex! But as of late I have found it hard to climax. Viagra helps those that have a hard time getting it up but what about those of us that have a hard time finishing?
I have faked orgasms, given up trying somtimes then found that with hard hand manipulation I could finish. Covers make it even less sensitive, but they're a necessary annoyance
my question, " is there a medication to help those of us out here or am I looking for a quick fix in a pill?

Dear file37,

I know that the esteemed members of this board will help out on this one, since the topic is a perennial.

You may be looking for a quick fix in a pill - or, a pill you may already be taking could be the source of what ails you. Blood pressure meds, diabetes meds, antidepressants; all can affect not only erectile function, but also orgasmic ability. And yes, some men have always had RE (retarded ejaculation)to a certain degree, meds or no meds.

Yes, condoms are an "annoyance," even if necessary. But they aren't necessary for that good ole' handjob - which seems to have worked for you at times.

I don't believe there is a need for you to fake orgasm - at least not to make a woman happy. In fact, that can add to the pressure of performing. Try to relax...are you having fun during the journey, or is it all about the destination? Please do not focus on the orgasm, focus on the pleeeeasuuureee...

As to pleasure-enhancing meds, everyone reacts differently. As you say in your post, most ED drugs like Viagra work on hoisting the ole' pole, not make it spurt.

So paradoxical intention might be the order of the day here. Don't think about ejaculating, and concentrate on having as much fun as possible.

What says the rest of the gang,
the Love Goddess

the trip is definately more fun than reaching the destination.

I am finding myself having a bit of this problem myself, especially if I've had any sexual activity in the last 48 hours.  What works best is just cuddling and talking and maybe some massaging.  Sometimes the juices begin to flow again and sometimes they don't, but I always enjoy myself regardless.

One wise provider pulled out her vibrator and began to get herself off in front of me.  This produced a very strong erotic surge in me that jump started me again.

The worst outcome is to fret over it and spoil what could be a nice time; one that you are probably paying dearly for, by the way.

Probably a combination of meds and the cover. Honestly, I've just about given up even considering coming. I get pleasure out of thinking "I can't believe I'm fucking this beautiful woman!!There's no other place I'd rather be! I'm gonna have a great time, come what may" (maybe a bad choice of words). I enjoy DATY and pleasuring her if at all possible. Last appointment, the ATF told me she had a great O after DATY. I said, "I'm glad at least someone came." We laughed. Maybe Os are over-rated.

-- Modified on 10/28/2007 11:32:48 AM

I agree with everything said above about not stressing behind things.  I do have a suggestion, however.
 Go see a Urologist or an internist and talk about what is going on.  I learned a couple of things.  From the Urologist (I paraphrase in his voice)"The only thing (nonmedicine thing) that has been shown to enhance vigor/sex is to enthusiastically walk for a solid hour about 5 times a week.  My wife and I do it and it it works."  I believe he said this was an evidence based practice, but my memory isn't great.
 The other thing I learned is that for some guys their testosterone production goes way down as they get older.  This happens in guys that drank a hell of a lot when they were young.  I qualify (quit 18 years ago).  Got tested and sure enough my free testosterone was way too low.
Topical testosterone is available and works.  It helps prevent "male menopause" and things like osteoporosis as well.  Down side is that it is a bit like rubbing KY jelly on you body every day.
 Get check out medically and be willing to be a bit assertive.  If they tell you it is your BP med ask if there are alternatives that dont have that side effect.
 Good luck with it.
Beret

I never heard the advice, "The only thing (nonmedicine thing) that has been shown to enhance vigor/sex is to enthusiastically walk for a solid hour about 5 times a week."

You do realize that's saying that you should walk about 3 miles for 5 days each week. That's probably not practical for a lot of us. How about an exercise machine?

I'm 50, and the older I get the more difficulty I have in cumming also. I've studied myself, experimented with masturbation, and so on,  and have found a combination that seems to help some, and others that make it much worse. Expectation makes a big difference for me as well. I found myself doing much better with new providers than ones I've seen before, and I think it's because when I see a new gal, especially one with no reviews, I really don't expect much, and am pleasantly surprised sometimes.    I think the key is to get to know yourself. What works for me might not work for you or anyone else, we're all different, especially in highly personal matters.  Try new things, including attitudes. alot of it will fail, but if 10 things don't work and 1 does it'll be worth it.   As with just about anything else, good things will eventually come to those willing to patiently work at it.

Yes, I had never heard that before either.  I was always of the school that exercise probably helps many things (like my weight) and anything you do will help.
 My memory of the advice is that treadmill was fine, but the length and some vigor were the key parts.
 I have changed coasts since I saw this guy.  He was great to talk with and comunicated at my level.  If I get a chance one of these days I will try to find a reference for this.  If it is evidence based there should be more public awareness of it.
 My point in the post, of course, was go see a doc and rule out other factors.
B

Viagra has been reported on many a board to decrease the chances of multiple climaxes, so I am thinking it is highly possible that it could be hindering your capability to even have one orgasm - make SURE you got the pill from your doctor and he/she has given you the go ahead to use the purple wonder.
Secondly, try not to fixate on having a climax by focusing on yourself... rather, get off by making your partner orgasm multiple times... for me personally, it is a true turn on to see and participate with my partner in her orgasm.
Think about seeking professional counsel - this is not a stigma, but a fact of life as we age... a registered, trained therapist may be able to help.

Seek a fix that will be meaningful and lasting - the quick fix in this day and age are sought after but rarely attained... gotta have it now often causes more problems than it solves.

Foreplay! We've had it drummed into us that women need foreplay ... well, so do men.  Relax, get close, ask your partner to touch you, touch her, keep doing it for a nice long time.  It feels great and you'll find that when the time for real action comes, so will you.

as I have found that while they raise the flag, they stunt the stream.

I have had amazing hard ons that have allowed me to ride and be ridden for up to an hour at a time with no orgasm...sounds like fun, but it isn't.

I cut back on my dosage and sure enough, I was still able to rise to the occassion, but now I could nut with the best of them as well.

Best of luck, hope it helps.

Oh yeah, hot redheads also help me get off...don't know why, but they seem to really prime the pump as it were.