My last two relationships started as SDSB.  When they ended I was really hurt.  Just like any breakup, you need to do a lot of self care.

Watch a lot of comedy.  
Exercise, even if it's just walking
Hobbies to fill the time that was with her
Let the pain go through.  Just live through it to get past it
Don't get back on the horse till your ready.  Nothing wrong with rebound sex.  Let yourself heal and be in the right spot to date.

 
I'm around if you want to talk more over pm.

so I predict no matter where you end up, you'll be fine.

-- Modified on 5/30/2026 4:43:34 PM

So sorry your arrangement ended.  Been there, done that, and experienced the pain.  But count yourself really lucky; first, in that you had such a good thing going for such a long time , and second, that she was classy and considerate and told you in person she was moving on.  Believe me, when they simply ghost you and disappear without a word, without a trace, it hurts a lot more.  

 
I'll be 80 next year, so I def understand the age gap question.  I would not try dating civvies.  You have no way of knowing in advance if they are open to an age gap arrangement.  Too much rejection for too little success.  The beauty of Seeking, despite it's well documanted drawbacks, is that the women have self selected themselves.  You know right away if they are open to dating someone older.  And if their profile does not specify, you can ask and find out, without risking offending someone.

 
As I've stated here before, there are younger women out there who prefer much older men.  Many of them flow onto sugar dating websites.  Their success rate is also much higher online than in the field.  Tap into it, when you're ready.

Or project  

Give your self 3 months or so to find a new gem  

Treat it like a fun project - maybe whiteboard it out if you want to make it entertaining for yourself

But if you are someone decent , sociable (the fact you had a long term SB is support for this) ,  

you will eventually find a decent 7 or 8 , at the same allowance, or even if you may have to up your allowance or ppm a little . They are out there but takes longer than usual

It's unavoidable. Arrangements have a finite lifespan.  As others here have said, I've felt the pain you feel now. Sometimes she ended it either well with some type of closure, or not so well by simply ghosting. And sometimes I've had to end it, usually when the arrangement is no longer delivering the benefits we originally negotiated.  They all hurt when they end.  

 
There's an old joke that sort of applies here:  
"Pizza! When it's good it's really great. And when it's bad it's still pretty good."

 
Here's my approach when I've seen a valued arrangement end:  
1. Take a break. Don't be in any kind of hurry to find a replacement, because you won't. Each SB is unique, just as each woman is unique.  When the NEXT SB opportunity arises, you'll know what to do.  In the interim, if you have to get laid - because of course you do, we all do - use TER or whatever P4P resource you like.  

 
2. Try to internally frame the past experience by appreciating all the good parts of the arrangement, rather than the pain of the breakup.  This is a poor analogy, but I'll use it anyway:  When was the last time you got $75 rib eye at Mortons or any top-shelf steak house? Your memory of that steak is all about how good it tasted, rather than how empty your plate looked when you finished eating.  

 
So take some time to reflect on what you most appreciated about your SB and then use that to help define what you want to look for in your next.  

 
And I too offer my ear for bending by PM as well.   This is a journey we can share, for better or worse.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat