Dear Torretta13,

No it is not pathetic or even sad - if that's what you really want. If relying on escorts for sexual needs really does meet your needs, then keep seeing escorts. What would be unusual or perhaps even detrimental to your psyche is if you had NO friends at all, whether male or female, with whom you socialized and did fun and/or constructive things outside the sexual arena. If you are finding yourself very lonely, largely without close relationships to friends or family, then I would take a look at your relational pattern and ask some questions.

Feeling lonely could mean a lot of things - you could be depressed and avoid seeking contact, or you could engage in a relational pattern that distances you from other people, for various reasons. On the other hand, if you have lots of friends and engage in social activities but still can't find a girlfriend - and you really want one - then this is something to examine in counseling or coaching. If seeing escorts leaves you with a less than satisfying feeling, then that behavior needs to be changed in some way.

Society largely pathologizes both men and women involved in selling or buying sexual services. We have to be careful not to fall into the trap of making blanket statements such as "pathetic" or "sad," when in fact there are many men who are happy and adjusted, but for various reasons are not ready or willing to commit to one person. To these men, buying sex represents  convenience and a solution. For some women, selling sex also represents a preferred way to make a living. Not everyone involved in the P4P arena is a sad or dysfunctional individual, despite the published research - which LARGELY has been done with clients and workers in street prostitution.

As far as being a young attorney - my guess is that you are pulling 70 hour weeks sometimes. It can get very difficult to maintain romantic relationships on such schedules. Calling an escort for sex is a lot easier and more convenient. You will just have to ask yourself if you are missing something or someone, independent of seeing escorts. If you WANT a "civvie" relationship, you may have to adjust your priorities, if at all possible. If not, then party on and wait for more time to engage socially. Just make sure you're not isolating completely, that's never a good thing.

Enjoy life but with some care,
The Love Goddess

Almost, anyway...age 33, 15 women, 14 of them escorts.  The one that wasn't an escort was the first and was like a fwb sort of thing, but it sucked and put me off of sex for years, so I'd prefer it hadn't happened anyway.

If I felt it was my only hope for getting sex for the rest of my life, I'd feel it was pathetic and sad...but I feel like it's a stepping stone for me, a temporary thing.  It's given me a ton of confidence I never had before and helped me in other ways, so I feel good about it.

But, all that really matters is whether *you* think it's pathetic and sad.  If you do, then figure out what it is you want instead and come up with a plan to get it.

Looking back...I had a pretty good dating life but it is overrated.  Had I known about the hobby earlier, I would have stuck to hobbying and been much more selective about who I chose to date!!!  You are a busy professional so you are probably better off hobbying and saving civvie dating for those who deserve that type of time.   The wrong civvie relationship can get in the way of your career.   The reality of the civvie world is that there are plenty of women who want a successful man but have trouble understanding why you cannot be home at 5 pm everyday.   Stick to what you are doing and be patient.  Confidence will bring you the proper civvie relationship.