Im new around here and first off wanted to say this is a great site and i've read the forums and you have always been a kind and informative person! Since your a therapist, thought I might as you something.

I'm a virgin, 26 yr old, and am interested in possibly trying out a provider. I know you probably get this alot but i'm concerned about two things.

First off, i'm not as big as I would like. Only 4in erect and 5in girth. Have you ever heard of a provider rejecting someone or laughing when they got there?

Second, i'm worried about getting busted by the cops. I have read the forums and I know nothing is for certain but honestly i'm more concerned about the cops that I am of my size. I'm not sure if I will ever get up enough courage to chance it because of this. I'm just tired of being ignored because i'm not 7+ inches.

Thanks!

Hey Vekell

My first time was with a provider too.  My worry at the time wasn't about size (although admittedly I'm a bit on the smaller side as well); my worry was with that worn-out story of falling for the first person I had sex with.  That didn't happen though; I think between my own nervousness and the detachment and mechanicalness of the provider's technique, that "potential for infatuation" didn't have a chance.  My problem came with the "adventure" of it.  Soon, I was making frequent trips to meet different providers in different cities and spending lots of money that I really couldn't afford to spend.

Do I regret following this path, giving it up to a provider and not making it a "special moment"?  Some days, yes; some, no.  But then, considering my dating history (or lack thereof), I really don't think that "special person" ever would have availed herself for that "special moment."

As for my size, no provider's commented on it (at least not to my face).  If she's a true and consummate professionaly, she won't.  [It really isn't the way to encourage repeat business after all ]

The fear of getting busted is a legitimate one.  If you opt to go the provider route, there really is no escaping that chance.  But if you do some research and find a very good, very reputable lady, you can probably minimize it.

Before you do choose this, do some serious thinking about it.  Make sure this is the choice you really want to make, and can live with.

I have had several gentlemen in the past tell me they are virgins and ask to see me. I won't do it because I believe the first time should be special, with someone you care about. I don't want to be responsible for any guilt he may feel later. It is just sex afterall, if you do it with someone you don't know and don't have any attachment to.

Now, maybe that is more important for the females of the world, but I think it's special to men as well. In relationships I've been in we've talked about our first time. Mine wasn't consensual, so perhaps that's why I think it should be more special.

As for your size, no one will laugh at you. Chances are that you are bigger than you think, sweetie. I've been with men who we women would consider huge and they don't realize they are. They think they are smaller than or at least average and they're far larger than average. And I've been with men who are average. RARELY does it ever happen that you come across someone who is less than average, so I'm going to guess that you are at least average and probably larger than. Afterall, to what do you have to compare? Either way, it's a provider's job to accept all who see us and enjoy what each has to offer. If you're with a lady, any lady, provider or not, who makes fun of you in any way, that is abusive. It is not what this hobby is all about.

Rest easy, my friend. If you choose to make your first time with a provider, the pro is that she's a professional and knows what she's doing. She will also be gentler in showing you the ropes if she's aware that you're a virgin. If you don't tell her, it may even be more fun for you because then you'll get the treatment everyone else gets and you can just lie back and relax. Believe me, we're happy to take the lead and show you a good time. However, if you do decide to tell her you're a virgin, she may take it more slowly so you enjoy the whole experience from start to finish. In other words, she'll make it even MORE special for you than perhaps a seasoned man.

The choice is of course yours. Just be sure to consider any regrets you may have. And sweetheart, get out there in the world and start having fun. You're a 26 year old guy, this should be some of the best times of your life. The time when you can be a little reckless and before you grow into your mature 30's. Maybe your provider friend can take you out on the town off the clock, show you a good time and build up your confidence. It might be fun!

Love,

Andi

PS In order to completely minimize your potential for seeing a cop, use the reviews on this website and choose a lady who has several good ones. If a lady is well reviews, meaning a page or more by known reviewers, you can be fairly to 100% certain she is NOT LE.

To this, I can only add my female perspective, Vekell:

It's not in the size whatsoever. PLEASE don't think of it for a moment. In fact, some women prefer smaller penises, due to their own tinier vaginas. Yes, yes, yes, we all know it can expand to accommodate a baby, but seriously, there are some women who prefer a tiny banana to a bigger plantain. Also, it strikes me as very unprofessional by a provider to discuss her preferential penis size, unless it is so big that it looks abnormal..or so small she can't find it! Your size as you described it is nothing out of the ordinary, so rest assured there will be no remarks..unless you paint it or hang little ornaments from it .

As to getting "busted.." I'm not one to offer legal advice (I leave that to the folks at the Legal Corner board) but it would stand to reason that a provider would not engage in entrapment if she has pages of consistent, solid reviews which are recent. Also, a good way of being safe is being with a provider who screens very carefully. Yes, you may have to come up with some information such as work phone number (don't worry, providers are very discreet when they call to verify, if that's what they do,) or she may want to see your driver's license when you show up. But rest assured, the more they screen, the less chance for you to get into trouble. At least you'll know that she's not engaging in entrapment, because she will have screened her previous clients and avoided getting into such a compromising situation.

Also, I may be a little biased here, but if you choose a provider with some "experience," (euphemism for on the slightly "maturer" side,) you may wish to disclose to her that it's your first time. I would bet that she'd be extremely flattered that you chose her to be your very first one. She may take extra care not to be "mechanical" as NDGeekboy described it, or be sure to provide cuddles, hugs and kisses inbetween the other stuff.

As to getting addicted to providers in general after your first time..well, I suppose it's easy to fall into anything that doesn't require so much "work," other than paying money and getting exactly what you want. But it does seem to me that you want this first experience over and done with, and that you have decided to go this route. After you've enjoyed yourself and feel more relaxed about it, perhaps it will be easier for you to pursue dating in the civvie world. It's a thought and a theory, anyway.

Good luck and let us know,
the Love Goddess

Vekell,

The advice from NDGeekBoy and Love Goddess appear to be quite solid and helpful and thus I'm not sure that I could add anything of substance to their comments.  However your closing remark is somewhat puzzling...
You wrote:  'I'm just tired of being ignored because i'm not 7+ inches.'.

Unless you literally were rejected by a woman  as you stood naked before her while she commented on your penis size or you told a woman your size pre-sexual encounter attempt and were point blank told 'no' because of your size, then it seems to me that you have taken your own insecurity on this subject and confused it for the reason that perhaps you have not yet had sex with a woman.  Please trust me that I'm not bashing you here.  Consider what I am saying...  

I wonder how often you have dated women.  Seldom, somewhat frequent, alot?  How have the dates fared in terms of how you think your date's enjoyed your company?  My guess is that you have not enjoyed a lot of mutuallly pleasurable non-sexual dating experiences and at the same time you have fallen victim to the male perception that size means everything.  I beleive you have taken the latter and transfixed it into the reason why you are unhappy with yourself in the former.  

I think you should heed LG's advice and attempt to approach a mature provider for all the reasons that LG states.  This will likely lead you to a very enjoyable first sexual experience with a fantastic lady and at the same time bolster your confidence in terms of sexual adequacy.  BTW:  Not trying to pile on but be preapred for the 'I cum way too fast' self-loathing.  Don't get bogged down in this either.  The said good provider will likely give you opportunity for multiple pops and considering your age, that my friend can be the Holy Grail from a male perspective.  In any case, after you have found your first time sexual relief then consider working on the dating front.  I can't really give you tips in this arena but I suspect your unhappiness in this area is at the root of your penis size rejection fears.              

Shucks, thanks, LG *blush* (g)

Something else that came to mind, if you do decide to pursue this, is to go for an incall.  If an established provider is comfortable with her incall location (a higher-end hotel, an apartment she keeps just for this occupation), then I feel that much more comfortable - and safer.  But if it looks like a hotel that rents by the hour (with optional sheets) in an area the police give a wide berth to, you might want to reconsider (g)

Oh, yeah, and regarding your size - that's really a non-issue, bud.  If the women you're meeting are making it an issue, that's their problem, not yours.  They're the ones with the hang-up for something big.

Remember: People can make you feel inferior only if you give them permission to.

(I really need to learn to compose my thoughts before I compose my messages. (lol))

I fully agree. As a more physical matter, vekell, you might want to put your mind at ease by taking some of the E-stuff "Bob" hawkes on TV. If nothing else, it'll make you feel better.

LG and HeyNow have really good points with going with a more mature provider.  Chances are, she won't be a clock watcher like many of the younger and newer providers tend to be.

As for the being ignored because of your size, were you trying to find dates over phone-date services like LiveLinks and LavaLife?  I "met" a couple of women on those lines who had their "minimum size requirements."  When they started belittling me (no pun intended), I just blocked their calls.  It was just crap I really didn't feel like dealing with.

HeyNow also mentioned cumming way too fast.  Like he said, don't worry about it.  Early on in your experiences, it will happen and it will happen fast.  My first few times, the lady would barely touch me and I'd be done.  (Well, okay, maybe not quite *that* fast but, man, it really did feel like it.  There can - and is - some truth in Al Bundy's frequent jokes about "the best three minutes of her life!" (g))

Take it easy, man.

Hey thanks for all the replies! That's all good advice. I would tell her it was my first time cause if not, she would think I just wasn't good or something lol.

I do have my eye on a certain provider, she has 12 reviews between 8 and 9. Only one 7. Do you think that would be safer?

She said giggling “ who you gonna please with that?” He said “me that’s who” I agree with everybody except the in/out call advise. If you get a room, you control the environment. When was the last time you read that an Indy was busted doing outcall? You read about incalls being busted a lot and for Pete’s stay out of AMPs = arrest me please. Just my.02

It's sounding like the odds are better but, not knowing the provider, I honestly couldn't say.

E-mail her, try to get a feel for her and the situation.  If she's open for it, maybe a follow-up phone call.

Another option - stress on "Option" - would be a post on a regional board.  You don't have to explain the *entire* situation but you can mention that you're brand new to the hobby, mention some details of what you're looking for in a provider bringing you in, and I'm sure some of the people will offer you some suggestions.

Take your time about it, okay?  Weigh your options.  It's virginity; it's not cancer.

Yeah, if you get a room, you control that portion of the environment.  But the desk clerk and hotel security also control the rest of it.  My last encounter was an outcall to a small, quiet hotel.  Unfortuneately, there were cops parked in the lobby, making sure the place stayed quiet.  The provider was very nervous about this and asked if we could take things slow.  Not a problem, but after a half hour of learning way too much about her, things started to feel uneasy on my side of the bed.  I guess this is really one of the YMMV areas.

I do agree about the massage parlors though.  Even if you think the place is below the radar, chances are, it isn't.

"""I have had several gentlemen in the past tell me they are virgins and ask to see me. I won't do it because I believe the first time should be special, with someone you care about. I don't want to be responsible for any guilt he may feel later. It is just sex afterall, if you do it with someone you don't know and don't have any attachment to.

Now, maybe that is more important for the females of the world, but I think it's special to men as well. In relationships I've been in we've talked about our first time. Mine wasn't consensual, so perhaps that's why I think it should be more special."""

I read a very interesting book of accounts of losing virginity. It reveals that there is a significant per cent of men (and some women, too) who desire to lose their virginity so that they can unburden themselves of a stigma. In other words, they specifically are not looking for a special relationship, but just want the experience.