sex get into this business?

Early on in my hobby experiences I had thought that most providers enjoy the company of men. As time progressed I noticed that there are a percentage who actually hate men.

I can only conclude that money has taken the priority over their principals, but would like to hear your advices.

We love MEN.

IMHO, in order to call himself a MAN, representative of male species have to have certain qualities.

Just having a penis does not qualify.

who could fit the description, but here's a more interesting question, at least from the providers POV:

Why do so many men who disdain women go and hook up with providers?

I think that answer might be related to yours.

Deep sigh, remote_viewing,

I truly have disdain for these types of questions, not only because they are loaded, but also because in my not-so-humble-opinion, they betray the prejudices of the one who is asking more than leading to some kind of rational and objective answer.

"Money has taken the priority over their principles [not principals, that's something different altogether]? A percentage who actually hate men?"

Now what percentage would that be? Because I've never seen a study where such a percentage was quantified, nor would I ever dream of guessing a figure, because it would just be WRONG.

Forgive me for saying this, but maybe they just hate you? Or maybe someone had a bad day and expressed this to you? I can say this - if a woman really "hates" men, then she can't be a working, successful, functional provider. But let's just say that some providers "hate" SOME men - maybe they "hate" men who abuse them, rob them, rape them - and if that is the case, then I'd say they share this aspect with just about any woman who has been exposed repeatedly to abuse or negative experiences with men. You don't have to be a  provider for that.

Maybe you are experiencing time with some providers who are burned out on the job and who are expressing their negativity while trying to maintain some sense of sanity? But "hatred?" I don't think a woman can get into this business while hating men, unless she is extremely disturbed, either by drug addiction or mental illness. So if you are hanging out in a milieu where mental illness, drug addiction, abuse of all sorts is prevalent among providers, then you might have been exposed to providers who truly "hate" men. But they probably "hate" a lot of other things too - and again, that type of milieu is so dysfunctional that hatred is everywhere.

Notice how all my statements are speculations; the reason for that is your question - it is speculative, carries inherent bias and almost asks for something a priori. That's not good social science and I don't think it's wise to shoot from the hip on this one.

So I'll just stop right here and encourage you to ask yourself what hatred truly means. Perhaps you're going to come to the conclusion that "a percentage who actually hate men" is going to be very elusive to figure out, for all kinds of reasons.

Remember that the flip side is "the hooker with a heart of gold,"
The Love Goddess

And I thank you for your insight.

No LG. They don't hate me and my question was not related to any personal experiences, lol. It is more about what I read in the hobby and stories that are told. There is a darker side which a lot of people tend to pretend does not exist. I tend to stay on the bright side of the moon, but curiosity got the better of me.

I promise that my next post in 2013 will be of a less disdainful nature

Well, remote_viewing,

that depends on where you look. In my experience, "a darker side" is what is given preference in social science journals. These publications are full of "public health" articles discussing the misery, dysfunction and general unhappiness of sex workers. Rarely is there anything positive written about providers, and when it is, it usually DOES carry disdain on the part of the writer/interviewer. Anyone remember Diane Sawyer's interview with Ashley Dupree (Spitzer's provider)? If Diane wasn't clucking, rolling her eyes and being all patronizing, then I don't know who was. Quite frankly, the entire field of prostitution research is so tainted by anti-prostitution activists, well-meaning public health specialists (understandable, since they only research street prostitution) and politicians who have NO IDEA about indoor prostitution in general and sex workers who are happy about their jobs in particular.

If you came from another planet and happened upon data presented today, you'd be convinced that "the demand side" [i.e. clients] are callous monsters who torture victimized sex workers who are super-dysfunctional individuals. That's not a new image, and it persists for a variety of reasons much too complex to go into this posting.

Suffice it to say that extra-relational copulation is viewed with a jaundiced eye in most civilizations - the reasons for it are based on evolutionary concepts such as dispersion of resources, paternal investment, cuckolding, etc. So of course it's easier to say that "providers hate men," or "there is something wrong with women who sell their bodies [n.b. that it's always about selling bodies, not services] and other assorted glum theories. This will most likely go on until the human species is extinguished and there's little we can do about it for now.

The more it changes, the more it stays the same,
The Love Goddess

It's rather unfair and accusatory.

Come to think of it, in my job as a businessman, I sort of hate most of my customers.

They are at best often clueless and whiny; at worst outright sadistic and devoid of morals.

There are a few that are loyal and pay their bills, but they are becoming a rarity in the business world today.

Nevertheless, through a combination of professional pride and a desire to try to keep profitable, I endeavor to do my best and smile and answer the phone with a hardy "How can I help you today?"

I suspect many provider do more or less the same.

So, what's the problem?

and who as children experienced their fathers as neglecting, narcissistic, abusive, or in any number of other hurtful ways.

Their feelings are very understandable, but interacting with clients in ways that are not helpful to themselves can hopefully, at minimum, at least be supplemented by working on these issues together with a therapist with whom they can form an effective working partnership.  They can have much to gain by doing this.

For other women, there are other factors, and every woman is different.  Then, also, the client himself may be disrespectful to women, or to providers in particular.








-- Modified on 3/3/2011 11:18:42 AM

Unfortunately, some people will never accept that this is just a job for us ladies and want to eat the proverbial cake.

On one hand, they want us to act professional and not get attached and not be "the fucking wife".

On another, they want to be guaranteed that we are fucking them because we truly can't help ourselves and not because we are being paid.

and I don't really get the question - are you just looking to vent your annoyance that you've discovered some providers don't like their work, or can you really not understand the possibilities?

My father was a high school teacher for 30 years who hated teenagers. But he won a bunch of awards and coached a successful debating team and many of his former students came to his funeral. I guess he was good at faking it.

Some providers love men and some love sex and some love sex with men. But I suppose no matter how much you love something, after a while HAVING to do it takes away a bit of the pleasure. HAVING to do it with men who may be smelly, rude, and unattractive might take away a bit more. Running into legal troubles, getting beat up or ripped off, or receiving low scores and insulting bad reviews might further add to the disillusionment.

Why do providers who don't like men in the first place do it? I'd guess because sex is a commodity that men are willing to pay for, and some women are willing to capitalize on that and make it a business. I know a number of providers who are lesbians. I know a lot of people who accept jobs or pursue careers or accept jobs doing things that they hate because the pay is the best they can find. And on the other side of the coin, many people don't want to pursue a career doing something that they love, because sometimes doing a thing professionally ruins the pleasure. I am an excellent cook. My mother has often told me I should have been a chef. That would be all well and good until the first time someone sent back one of my meals, and I shot him.....

Some like the job more than others. But they all can do it, make a buck and do not find it so unpleasant that they have to stop doing it, at least not yet. I do not think it is more complex than that.

Not saying I do not get the attraction in psychoanalyzing providers, getting behind the facade, into their heads. I could go on at length about dissociation, the particular challenges of emulating intimacy, engaging in very intimate acts, with a large number of strangers. And most of that is true, too. But I think it is mostly beside the point. The point is that you are in a room with a lady, just her and you (most of the time at least), now what will you two make of that time together?

She may or may not like men in general, but all that really matters is that she likes you enough to have, or emulate, a good time while you are together. Right? So find someone who you get along with, or work on making your stinky self a better companion so more ladies will enjoy your company, and do not worry about whether she likes men, just make her like you, or at least tolerate you well.

Or be the guy who only cares about whether she does what you want her to do, and don't worry about liking or disliking at all.

Honestly, I have no idea how you would know whether or not a provider likes men or not. Even if she tells you one way or the other, how do you know it is the truth? Me, I mostly get told by ladies that they really like sex. Later I discover that many of them hardly ever have orgasms. But many of these same ladies seem to lubricate freely, like playing with themselves, and genuinely do seem like they are enjoying themselves with me. Many of them also tell me they love women, and women's bodies. I have given up trying to make sense of all that, just like I have given up trying to figure out what will please me, and when. Humans are very complex, and are capable of feeling completely conflicting emotions - a woman who does not like men, and rarely has orgasms, probably has also had at least one shattering orgasm with a guy. Bet on it.

My advice - pay attention to the little stuff, what you enjoy, what she responds well to, and do not worry about these global generalities. Even if you figure them all out, it gets you nowhere at all. Been there, done with that.

Zig

As someone already said, not everybody with a penis qualifies. If you're getting negative vibes from enough providers to give you grounds for this dubious generalization, then either 1) it's you (you're a jerk or you come across as one - no woman, no matter how much she loves men, sex, or her job, likes to cater to a jerk), or 2) it's her (she deals with so many jerks on a regular basis that she's permanently grumpy).

Everybody complains about work, and this job is no different...rough clients, hagglers, etc. can be very frustrating. Fortunately, there are a lot of really nice guys out there, and the providers who are more discriminating are probably the ones who are happier with their jobs

-- Modified on 3/3/2011 12:35:47 PM

I, personally, think of any sex as a bonus.

In practically any intimate or sexual relationship, each participant holds some ambivalence. Even with committed couples, who report a decent satisfaction level with their relationship, one or the other, at times, will sound and act as though s/he hates her or his partner. Ambivalence occurs in P4P relationships also, but the provider, as a business woman, needs to keep her's under wraps, if she is going to be successful. And, the consumer had better keep his reasonably under wraps in order to avoid being blacklisted.

In that movie is a sub plot: the story of a married man who spent years by his wife's side but underneath the floor boards of his private study his diary was discovered.  In the diary, in his own handwriting, was detailed fantasy about how to murder his wife.  By day, he was the ever attentive husband, but at night he would retreat to his study and devise different ways in which to murder her and get away with it.

Well, that story, like the movie has many twists.  But it does go to show the depth of animosity that one spouse can have for another.

As for me, personally, I have an unbridled animosity, not for men in general, but for the idea of a monogomous committed relationship with a man.  The hobby lifestyle answers that problem for me perfectly.
I get to be financially supported like any "wife of leisure" would.  I get as much sex as I ever wanted.  I get great conversations, male energy and insight, and even protection.  
But I don't have to go about cleaning his beard trimmings out of the bathroom sink or washing skid marks out of his underwear, or putting up with his mother, or coordinating holidays with another family, or boosting his pride when his boss is a prick, or dealing with him cheating on me, or worrying about his debt or that his financial decisions will affect me... and etc etc...  

Having a disdain for long term relationships with men does not translate into having a disdain for men.  I get the best of them.

I love the men in my life for the same reason that they can love me:
We have mastered the Art of "Goodbye".

Ya, my experience in relationship is like when it's cold, when you get in bed with your SO, and you want to snuggle to get warm, and it feels so good. But, after awhile you find yourself too warm, so you need some space and the coolness feels so good. Then, later you're cold again and you want to snuggle once again. It seems for me the most pleasurable times in a relationship are those times of coming together, and times of going our own separate ways.