Love goddess,
I was told that I may get a better perspective out of talking to you about this. The link below is from the General board I posted yesterday. I received a lot of advice, and even took most of it. I just need to know that I am doing the right thing. I am not one to give up on someone or walk away when they need me the most, but I am not going to stand back and let her browbeat me ANYMORE! I undrstand about abuse, and how it effects US as we grow, I was abused also as a kid, even as an adult it was emotional abuse I had to deal with.
We have only been friends close to 2 years, and this would be the 3rd time she would walk away from me thinking I was the one who did something wrong. To be angry because I befriended one of her friends? I am so tired of fighting for nothing. please tell me im not doing the wrong thing.

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=231087&boardID=12&page=1

Interesting, DianaMassage,

If you would have removed the genders in these messages, I would have thought this is a woman having a fight with her lover. My perspective on all of this is that you, my dear girl, need to be careful not to get victimized, caught up in blurry boundaries, or give too much and get nothing in return.

This happens to a lot of women; they give their love, friendship and caring, only to be stabbed in the back. Yes, of course you did the right thing. But more than that, you need to turn on that "assessment mechanism" in your private life, not just in your work life, and be very careful with whom you let inside your private sphere.

Walking away from someone three times is twice too many. Yes, it's difficult to cut ties if you have invested in a friendship, but can you really afford to prop someone up the way you have with this woman? You need friends who are your equals, not someone you can be a Florence Nightingale to. You probably do enough of that in your worklife. Your friends need to be solid, independent and mentally sound individuals, so that YOU can have a shoulder to lean on when life gets tough.

If I'm not entirely crazy, I would imagine she's not the only one in your life that has acted like a creep. Why not take the end of the year to clear all those who have creepy tendencies, or potential to damage or ruin your self-esteem and self-worth and WRITE THEM OFF permanently. You'll start the year off on a freshly cleaned slate. Yes, maybe your social life will be a little subdued temporarily, but at least you won't have emotional leeches slapping you in the face when it suits them.

Get cleaning, dearie,
the Love Goddess

with the new move, DM can distance & cleanse herself from the dark & creepy influences of her life & begin a new day :~)

thank you Love Goddess.
I too thought...or felt...as if I was in an intimate relationship WITH her when it couldn't be further from the truth. An honest friendship, that went wrong.
Already cleaning house...for good!
ty again
xoxo
Di

Diana: How somebody thinks that heaping abuse on you is helpful in any way, I can't imagine. Good luck and stay strong.

Diana,  Your not alone.  I understand.  I worked with a girl once.  I got to close to her. And she depended to much on me. In the beginning things were fine but then she started doing drugs.  This caused trouble, she didn't pay me, and she talked bad behind my back every chance she got.   Finally I made an executive decision to move the incall location and she was not coming with. When I told her I was moving and she wasn't coming, she went crazy.
She made all kinds of horrible threats.  The first thing she did do was come to the work apartment and broke and destroyed everything in it. She punched holes in the walls and poured bleach on the carpets.  She threatened to tell my family, slash my tires, and destroy my life.

I am not giving advise, but I am telling what I did.
I was scared she was gonna tell my family.
I moved immediately.  I changed my #.  I changed my work name.  I changed my adds.  I told all of my family that we had been in a fight and that she made all kinds of untrue threats.  (because I too was afraid she would reveal the unknown truth to my family)  So, I had everyone prepared for false lies.  
I also made her believe that I was gona do things to her.  I made (untrue) threats back. Which I know scared her too.
I disappeared.  I had to.  She was crazy.
And although I never would have did the things I said I would do to her.  I believe it stopped her from telling my people my business.  Cause she didn't want me to tell her business.

After things died down. I showed back up and nothing has happened since.

I am sorry this has happened to you.
Good luck.  
I know that that caused me to NEVER work that close with anyone else again.  I do things SOLO!
I do like offering duo's.  But that's it.
No sharing space.  It always seems to end nasty.

Good luck my darling.
With kindness and warmest regards,
Miss Shaden Sky