So, upper echelon, it boils down to this: what are you trying to prove? That you can impress your boss and his wife that you can produce intelligent arm candy? That you can one up them for their meddling by producing a vamp and thereby signalling them in a friendly way to mind their own business?
I'm reasonably familiar with successful companies, but I can say that in my own experience when I thought about matchmaking for several friends and colleagues I usually thought better of it. Several times, several months later, the guys, close friends, said to me, "thanks for not asking a lot of questions and letting me work it out." Seems to me your boss and his wife are stuck somewhere back in the 1950's, but maybe that's modern day American corporate enterprise for you.
Hi LG - would appreciate some of your insight.
I'm 37, running a division for a company and report to a famous CEO who's actually in the press alot lately. My boundaries for hobbying are such that it's rare; only do so in between SO's as it's in-the-moment adult luxury entertainment when even choose to indulge. Speaking of SO's recently broke up with someone who was putting the pressure on to get married, but, great and beautiful as she is I just don't want to get married right now, call it what you want: commitment issues, peter pan syndrome...whatever. I know myself and marriage doesn't concern me nearly as much as divorce would being I'm not ready. If I felt couldn't live without her I'd be at Tiffany's right now. Anyway, my boss recently pulled me aside and wanted to know the same thing and I had to tell him that relationship was done.
He expressed he was sorry to hear that and that his wife would definitely be looking to match make for me. He knows I don't need that but as he reminded me, that's not gonna stop his wife and said I better handle that and don't say he didn't warn me. They have an annual summer bash next month and frankly I don't want to bring a civilian who's gonna turn it into becoming my next SO, so I'm leaning towards making arrangements with a top dollar, cool customer GFE who can handle herself and give my boss's wife some pause I don't need the "help." But, forget the sex, she'd have to be polished and smart or I'd be a dead man. It's risky. For instance I could unwittingly pick somebody whose clients are half the male guests at the party that weekend for all I'd know. I'm being dramatic but, it's to stress the need for prudence. A good friend of my boss was splashed all over one of our paper's last year for his involvement with a provider who outted him after her run in with LE. We're talking front page. My understanding is that guy is still in the doghouse at home - not for hobbying - but for getting involved with someone who allowed it to get out.
So, would like an objective opinion from you LG, as you hear it all, if this would be a stupid move, or, is there a syntax to doing my homework to pick someone who'd be what I'm talking about.
I did just get out of a relationship and know I'm not altogether thinking clearly in this area of my life, but know I don't want to be in an exclusive relationship for a while either.
Thanks in advance for your feedback.
I'm not LG. But hope this quick, practical, non-psychoanalytic answer might help you:
If you're worried about being exposed for bringing a provider for your escort, simply don't. Hire some pretty, well-educated woman from a local modelling agency or an advertising agency to be a truly non-sexual escort.
Even your worst case scenario is better that way: if that got out, it's hardly scandalous or illegal.
Rather than take on the risk you worry about, just finesse it.
Obviously, on this Board, we all like to focus on providers. But aren't there are good roles for non-provider professionals, too?
-- Modified on 6/15/2007 2:30:06 PM
Dear UpperEchelon,
My opinion is not objective in the least - but it's at least as authentic as I am asking you to be in front of your boss.
First of all, what does your boss have to do with your own personal, private life? Bosses have gone down for less, in terms of getting "involved" in subordinates' personal matters. And his WIFE???!!! What kind of company is this, where THE WIFE gets involved?!?
Now it's time for me to be dramatic: DO NOT BRING ANYONE TO THIS 'OUTING!' By not bringing anyone, you will be making this grandiose statement: 'I am an individual who is in charge of my own personal affairs.' What a concept, huh??!!
It is 2007; with this new millennium, we have gone beyond bosses and their wives making 'matches' for all of us. From a Human Resources and Company Policy perspective, it is objectionable, uncalled for and outright bad business to mix personal and business matters.
On another note: what if you were gay? Would your boss be as inclined to lament your current state of singlehood?!?
So there you have it, UpperEchelon. There is no posterior worthy of suction in this manner - I don't care what division it is. In fact, this CEO is in trouble if he persists in mingling with your personal life.
On the other hand, you seem like a sharp tack, so why do you even care? And no, I don't think you should bring an escort, just to satisfy your clueless CEO. It's one thing if you want to bang a great provider - go right ahead - but don't make any illusions or complications for yourself beyond the obvious. Now if you just want to show off your proverbial cojones and appear with a gorgeous female in front of the rest of your coworkers - then pick a provider with stellar ratings, a high-class reputation, and the fees to reflect it. I'm sure you don't need any help in that department. But to satisfy your boss??? No way!
I ain't buyin' none of it,
the Love Goddess
And he's a wimp for not putting appropriate limits on his wife's interfering with his business.
However, I feel whether or not you want to stand up to him, and his wife...or just play games with them, as you had suggested...is and should be entirely up to you.
It's not immoral, in my view, to have a little fun with over-the-top people, rather than fight them. Humor is sometimes a more effective weapon than confrontation. The office gossip about appearing with a paid model, to put off the boss's wife, would be hilarious, and delicious revenge.
-- Modified on 6/15/2007 6:38:48 PM
Ha!
I won't waste this board's time with back and forth on Human Resource and Policy perspective, the truth is YOU'D BE SURPRISED and that goes way beyond my company and "clueless" CEO (it's hilarious to hear him described by anybody like that, or heading for trouble, or, myself as a suck up for that matter, but alright, had that one coming to me). Bottom line, far as providers go you've answered my question and I appreciate that. Thank you.
I'm with you UpperEchelon on this. I think LG and most of the others don't quite understand the situation. I work for a Fortune 10 company and while I certainly don't report to the CEO, I have been around them to know that a certain "image" is expected of you as you go higher up the ladder. Plus I don't think your boss and his wife's situation is as bad as others seem to make. Seems more of a friendly nature than intrusive or anything else. As for escorts, only other thing I can think of would be to try and get someone from another city as it is certainly possible someone might recognize her if she is from the same place.
Unless you are very, very sure of the people who will be at this affair (esp your boss and his foolish wife), and could conceivably get away with showing up with a gorgeous, classy, intelligent woman who has no connection to you and could pass scrutiny and pull it off, and thereby one-up the nonsense you have already described, please adhere exactly to what LG told you. Once again, she is spot on.
I don't like to submit "me-too" posts, but I want to cast my vote.
It is none of your boss's wife's business.
The interfering boss is more than likely voicing that he is going to get his wife busy finding someone that will tie you down, make a family man out of you and drive your credit cards so wild you'll work three times harder just to keep her in Beemers and Prada.
I'm with LG go to the party alone and if the wifey makes a move that even looks like she wants you to get mated up good and proper ask her if she's volunteering for the role, with a smile on your face of course. That will send her to the pantry in heat for sure!
But then again, the wifely may have a few hot and horny friends .... you seem like a guy that has his copy of "50 ways to leave your lover" still on the bedside table!
If you are as successful as you seem to be, this isn't even a speed bump on your trail.
If you really need a companion, would you consider contacting someone from another city, to fly in for the event? It seems that there are plenty of very high class ladies travelling a lot. I would be happy to recommend several from Minnesota who are beautiful, intelligent, very classy and could pull off anything, no matter the circumstance.
'The boss' has taken alot of heat here, and I personally believe he and his wife are a bit over the line as well. However, you come across as pretty sharp, and I'd bet alot you've made him look good more than once. Quite likely, he considers you as 'family', and would like you to do the same. This could be his way of keeping you around, we all know 'blood is thicker than water'. Then again, he might just be a thoughtless cad who can't see past himself.
Ok, there's an opposing view, let the cannonballs fly!! lol.
i think it is better not to be confronting with the boss specially with the ceo so I would go with BG and try to go with a model instead and try that angle instead of risking it by bringing a provider. travel or no travel IT IS A SMALL WORLD GUYS ...LOL
Okay, I firmly believe in what the love goddess has said. She is completely spot on in this regard. However I can understand if you want someone to go with you who can take some heat off of you via the boss' wife.
I would suggest what the others have, hire someone who is not an escort. That way there isn't any reason for anyone to think anything is amiss should someone "know" her or be a "client". I would recommend hiring someone who is within 10 years of your age (assumung you're in you're 30's) but definitely not under say, 25. Then you're cutting it way way too close.
As for intelligence I would imagine you would need to interview the person and should she be the one, there's no reason you can't tout out the fact that she's a model. Just don't let it slip that you paid her to go with you.
There are a lot of very well educated and beautiful providers who do travel though. You just need to make the choice and decide if you want someone to bang at the end of the day or not. But there's always the off chance that you and the model you hire for the evening will hit it off and you may get to bang her too. Just my thoughts. Let us know either way what you decide.
Alyssa
the nerve to write it, I guess:
The model you hire might wind up enjoying you and the party...and then you might possibly share a civilian experience.
Ah, what would life be, without hope and fantasy?
I know that's what the guys were thinking....
What she's telling her friends should she bang you...
"OMG this guy paid me to go to this party to get his boss' wife off his back about matchmaking and we totally hit it off...he's amazing in bed...(giggle)"
What you're thinking...
"Damn that was a good idea..."
I mean, that IS the fantasy right....lol.
So, upper echelon, it boils down to this: what are you trying to prove? That you can impress your boss and his wife that you can produce intelligent arm candy? That you can one up them for their meddling by producing a vamp and thereby signalling them in a friendly way to mind their own business?
I'm reasonably familiar with successful companies, but I can say that in my own experience when I thought about matchmaking for several friends and colleagues I usually thought better of it. Several times, several months later, the guys, close friends, said to me, "thanks for not asking a lot of questions and letting me work it out." Seems to me your boss and his wife are stuck somewhere back in the 1950's, but maybe that's modern day American corporate enterprise for you.
WTF is it with folks who believe that their job is more important than family or friends? Is you company going to be at bedside with you should you need emergency surgery?
While I am older now, and can afford to tell my bosses where to get off, you need to make a decision that you are going to work for yourself and family - not the next corporate fuck that will bleed you dry and dispose of you when your talents run thin... tell him and his wife where to go and get another job...
As far as the provider goes, I would definitely hire a highly confident one who would be glad to back you up and tell the bosses wife "No one can give head like me sweety"
Wow. You're a really smart guy. You advocate telling my boss where to get off, but hey, far as providers go, you have a poor recommendation there too. Fortunately I don't need such input whatever I decide to do.
The only reason you even get an opinion on the subject is because everyone who elects to post on TEH accepts LG's policy of not accepting backchannel communique, therefore, post publicly or not at all. She can only provide an assessment based on what someone is willing to share versus what he or she doesn't. Far as my question on providers go, she's answer it. I'm grateful.
So that said, would normally ignore someone like you but this was such a presumptuous post I'll let you in on a few small things even though they're none of your business.
I beat leukemia, my boss (and his wife) were there. My mother died unexpectedly a few years ago and he postponed attending the World Economic Forum, where he was already scheduled to speak, so he and his family could attend her funeral.
Far as sucking me dry, I built this place from scratch as an entrepreneur and it employs a couple of thousand people around the world today. I'm proud of that, as are the friends and family of mine you refer to. That's been achievable in large part because I sold the business to who I work for (and learn a great deal from), as he has kept his word on everything agreed upon in our transaction. He even persuaded me to go to B-school so my talents could flourish in his much, MUCH larger organization and picked up the tab which wasn't even necessary.
So you see, things aren't always as simple as we might choose to make them based on a couple of paragraphs a person is willing to put in a post. My guess is you're a guy in his 60s who has to comment on everything even though you actually know little to nothing.
You should ease off the verbal gas pedal...you have a heavy foot.
Firstly, watch how much personal info you give out here as there are many readers of this board who run in comparable circles as you claim to-- not hard to start putting two and two and two together.
Secondly, I love reading the bravado of some of these characters. I sometimes wonder if we live in the same world. It's clear you have affection for your boss and his wife and I can empathize with the position you're in as I've been there on two occasions at various stages in my life.
Forget the escort-- not worth the risk because of the obvious possibility of her being outed followed by you being outed and the potential negative impact all around (you've covered that quite nicely).
But consider this: The first time I had to go to a fancy black tie affair following a long term breakup, I decided to avoid all the things you are by taking the best looking woman I could find. She was not a friend but more of an acquaitance. I was upfront with her about what my motivation was and she was game so off we went. And man she looked like a million bucks. I felt good about my decision when we arrived. She was the best looking woman in the room and I had a good time.
What I didn't count on was that my boss and his wife (and others in attendance) had been quite fond of my now ex-fiance. And since this was the first girl anyone had seen me with, I discovered much to my surprise that I had become the talk of the dinner-- and it wasn't positive. The date was better looking than the ex and the ex was still in the room even though she wasn't there, you know what I mean? If your ex was highly regarded by those in your circle, be mindful of the potential for unintended consequences should your date be too attractive and too charming. Bringing someone like I described may sound good in theory, but it could backfire on you as it did me.
It's human nature for those that truly care for us to want us to be happy. It is also my experience that wives of business associates you spend any appreciable time with are sometimes uneasy with their husbands out on the town with the good looking single guy. We've all been there at some point having your mother, your sister, your friends wives, your business associates wives trying to fix you up. They may have different motivations but women seem to feel a need to "complete" us by finding someone for us.
I figured me showing up with a beautiful woman so soon after my long term breakup would show everyone that I was OK-- a way of saying, don't worry about me- I'm fine. Didn't work out that way.
-- Modified on 6/17/2007 8:42:42 PM
Hey sweetie "I'll" go with you! 
I'm educated, speak three languages, well informed and sexy. And I've been in the paper and on TV before!
And I promise everyone at the party will remember you and your TS "porn star" date for the evening!
Giggle...
Seriously though, I go with LG, et al on this one. There is no reason for you to have to be "accompanied" and it might actually be somewhat insulting if comes out in conversation that you just recently met and brought her along... etc.
The "Pretty Woman" story doesn't happen much in real life. Though there are high end escort agencies with high level professional women who may have their own corporate jobs.
I'd just go alone. Apparently your aquaintances know you are flying solo right now. If they want to introduce you to someone be gracious and debonaire and who knows you might actually meet someone you like, even if she is 300 lbs.
Giggle,
TS Jamie
