Ideally, sex and love are not separate 'entities'. The absolute hottest, smoking, satisfying, mindblowing sex I've ever had has been with people who I loved and who loved me, as well.
That's not to say that the two MUST be present together.
What I think is that most if us, male and female, are searching for intimacy. We are searching for someone who 'sees' us and finds ways to accommodate us into their own being. Great sex can make it seem like that accommodation is being made, and indeed sometimes it is.
A bunch of this is just pure neurochemistry, too.
Dear confusedcious,
Sex and love are most certainly separate entities, although they are not always mutually exclusive. You may engage in sexual interactions with someone you "love," e.g. long-term relationship partner, wife, s.o., etc. but you do not (I hope) with your child, sibling or parent, all of whom you love(presumably).
I have no idea why you "confuse them as one." But clearly, for some people, they are not able to engage sexually with people they love, while for others, loving someone is a prerequisite for having sex. These things are very individual and you will receive as many responses to this as there are people. Just imagine if you were to ask a provider this question. While she has sex with lots of clients, she doesn't have to, or need to "love" them.
As to "why" some people do this or that, it depends on many factors. Hormonal makeup, cultural conditioning [A BIGGIE], life situation, etc. In our culture, it is generally presumed that the best kind of sex occurs when two people have loving feelings for one another. Now, I truly disagree - but then again, I'm just one of zillions of people with zillions of different experiences.
Not to mention people who once loved each other and now come to be at each other's throats in a divorce. That begs the question if they EVER loved one another - did they, or were they just delusional?
It's all a very individual matter and I hesitate to say that there is one definitive answer. That's why I believe that people should not worry so much about what others think and just do whatever they feel most comfortable with. If love is a prerequisite for sex, then fine, don't have sex with anyone unless you love him/her. If not, then count your blessings and screw yourself silly.
It's pretty clear where I come down on the issue, LOL,
the Love Goddess
Love, which is a skill, is based upon caring, nurturing and respecting the object of love.
Much as a person can play a sport well or poorly depending upon how much care, etc. one has put into the effort, sex becomes magical when love is combined with it.
On the other hand, just as a weekend duffer can enjoy 18 holes while shooting a 120, we can all get our rocks off and call it a day.
Neither one is morally superior, but if you are interested in being skilled, love is the way to go.
