Sometimes it's a good idea to do a little "spring cleaning."  As I get closer to my 7-week trip to SE Asia, I was trying to figure out how I will manage my Los Angeles-based SB arrangements while on travel - banging (hopefully) a dozen or two hot 20-somethings for less than half the allowance I provide here in the US.  

 
For those on an "as desired" schedule, I simply let them know I will be out of the country and that I look forward to seeing them when I get back. But for those top 3 who are on a recurring (bi-weekly or monthly) schedule, they stand to lose between 2x and 3x their P4P allowances while I am away. This could be a (at least perceived) hardship. And it could lead to them finding a replacement, or increasing frequency with another current SD. Of course, they can do that now whether I travel or stay. But change tends to beget change, so to speak.  

 
For my last trip, 5 weeks in the Philippines, I only had two "regular" (bi-weekly) SB's, and I made their regular allowance payments remotely. I calculated that it was worth the investment to keep them happy and available when I got home, versus the time and effort required to start a new search for two replacements.  That seemed to work well. And I even bought each some gifts while on the road which were well-appreciated.  

 
But this time, as I have previously posted, I have a very full roster of 8 SB's which includes 2 Porn Stars. So I decided to conduct my own little performance review process, attempting to be as objective as possible. The idea was to verify how each arrangement is performing in an objective manner, if possible. The primary question: Am I still getting the ROI I want from each SB.  

 
It turns out, I am not. I had to overcome some "relationship" headwinds here, as this meant saying goodbye to some wonderful women. Here's what I did, and at a high level, why:  

 
#1. Laid Off: Viet Spinner, 23: Been dating her since she was a 19-year-old freshmen in college. I've seen her graduate, go through some professional jobs, and buy her fist home. But, over time the required investment in allowance and other requests have met a decline in overall sexual satisfaction. She just never really learned how to give a good BJ, and in the last several months I found myself having more difficulty "getting there."  Conclusion: I called her and let her know I am moving on. She took it well, thanked me and that was it. About 2 hours later, she texted me and asked that I delete all of her pics. I told her I would, of course.  

 
#2. Laid off: Ballerina, 21-year-old from WYP. This is a relatively new arrangement, less than 4 months, but it never really clicked well for me.  My biggest discomfort was that even after extensive negotiations (i.e.: 4 non-BCD dates), including testing and comfort with BB fun. She told me in the middle of our 1st BCD that I could not finish inside - either way. My hope was that she just needed a couple of BCDs to get comfortable with me. But after our last BCD she made a rather disappointing comment that I would need to double her allowance to allow me to go there. I was going to have one more date with her tomorrow. But she asked to reschedule. I told her I wasn't able to do so and that we will "hold off" until I get back from my trip. She has yet to reply, but my guess is she will move on...  

 
#3. Demoted and on probation: Newest Porn Star. Third BCD date was just a mess. She's going through "issues" and I can't/won't be the guy to try to fix them.  The last date, she got drunk in my house, walked off DURING BCD to spend 30-minutes in the bathroom and then came out only to pass out on my living room sofa.  When she awoke in the morning (I had covered her with a blanket), she had no memory after drinking her 3rd glass of wine and I had to explain what happened.  I MAY invite her one more time after I return, but: No booze. BCD early, and she does not stay overnight. Left on the roster for now...  

 
#4. Demoted: Latina student nurse, 25: She's now 3 months pregnant - by her boyfriend. Lots of drama between her and this guy. I'm no longer going BCD and no longer providing regular allowance. But I do send her a few bucks from time to time to get gas, etc. Still on the roster for now due to her amazing BJ skills.  

 
#5. Promoted: Hip Hop Girl, 25:  She's low expectations, low allowance, VERY appreciative and very enthusiastic BCD. She will be joining me for my last 5 days abroad in Bali. I will promote her to be my new #1 SB.

 
#'s 6-8: No changes: This includes my AA spinner, Asian MILF and Asian Porn Star.  

 
This was NOT easy. And I feel somewhat guilty about the old #1. She is really sweet and the issues here are more about my needs (perhaps changing?) than her abilities. But the math just didn't make sense anymore.  

 
I suppose when I get back I can start a new search for at least one replacement... but for now...  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Dearest Herb  

My heartfelt kudos to you for making the difficult decision to clean house. I too have been in similar situations and have had to do same. There are [hopefully findable] more deserving and worthy SB's in waiting that can 'make the grade.' I have been able to find a handful of very worthy gals that are, at least for now, well worth their PPM.  

 
But, as you have found, time wounds all heels. While the seeking process is a long, arduous slog through the slime-pit of humanity, gems can be found... with enough diligence!  {As many of my fellow sugarmen on here have discovered!}    

 
SB's can change on a moment's notice, becoming unavailable, unwilling to do what we need sexually, and just be emotionally unsupportive or absent. When this happens it's time for Das Boot!  

 
Happy libidinous travels!  

 
Here's to hoping you'll be rebuilding a new harem once you return!  

 
Your friend Always  

 
Adonis

Good clean up there big cat..    

 
I am envious of your preggo girl as I got a thing for preggos.

Sending someone packing can be stressful, especially if they have done nothing egregious. Worst part of the "job." Sounds like you handle these situations deftly.

Not directly related, but this post brought a thought to mind: Have you posted a primer on dating a porn star?  

I believe it would be an interesting and helpful read. Granted, given your location in the hotbed of the industry you have more ready and consistent access than most of us but I am sure you have lessons learned that can be applied for the occasional encounter. Certainly entertaining, at minimum.

Your tomes have provided details in bits and pieces but I do not recall a complete, dedicated, annotated chapter to the subject. Please correct me if I am wrong. I may have missed it somewhere along the line.

Just a thought from the peanut gallery.

This has to be the gayest post on TER..  

 
Not that there's anything wrong with it..

-- Modified on 2/17/2025 11:22:21 PM

Reading through that.  Felt the pain. We invest more than money.  We put time and emotions into arrangements.  It's not just paying for sex.  Letting go can be hard.  But may be best for the girls to move on with their lives as well.

Why is that SCS?  Because he doesn't understand that Das Boot in English means "The Boat" not giving someone the boot (Actually, the German version was a good flick if you don't mind a movie sympathetic to Nazis, lol).  Or is it because you are fed up with this wannable "Hef" posture or the ridiculous congratulatory posts.  In any event, I am much more focused on why my favorite baseball team refuses to spend on free agents.

Your criticisms of me are mean spirited and unnecessary, Newto. While you are entitled to your opinions, I try to be supportive of my brothers on this board and keep things positive. I don't know where your vitriol comes from but I suggest you take it elsewhere.

Because he started his post with "Dearest..." Now that's some gay ass shit.. lol  

 
I have no problem supporting people.. Was just funny as fuck...