The Erotic Highway
One BIG Difference between Escorts and SB's..? ?
I enjoy the experience of getting to know SB's and establishing a fun overall relationship...that's one important aspect of what makes it different from dating escorts.
However I have found that in dating SB's I must also endure listing to her problems with finances, family, ex husbands, kids etc. etc... Usually if she starts with that crap early on I bail out in a New York minute !
Other times it's only after settling in with her after multiple dates that her airing of " problems " crapola begins....then it's harder for me to just blow her off and I tend to try lend an ear, hoping that it's just TEMPORARY ...but that seems to be a mistaken approach to getting her straighten out and discontinue venting her personal problems to me.
It's hard for me to back away gracefully with a long time SB ( 6 months or more ) ...one technique I've used is to simply not ask for dates and be verrry slow in responding to her requests ultimately leading to dropping her.
Occasionally I have confronted the SB directly about the issue and usually that results in termination of the arrangement quickly.
With carefully chosen escorts even after multiple extended dates, rarely is there any of that kind crap to deal with.
Being retired and single, for me there are some advantages to Sugar Dating vs Escorts....generally longer dates for a lot less $$$ and a longer lasting connection.
I try to balance it all out by seeing quality escorts as they tour here but unfortunately not very many cum our way in SWFL.
I'm interested in hearing from other mongers here about their experiences of keeping regular SB's on track and preventing the arrangement from devolving into too much of dealing with her personal problems.
I have had many 1k per hour escorts speak of the same thing when she is completely comfortable around me... Consider it a complement from an immature girlfriend...
It's more the other way around for me. I hear about bullshit from both SBs or escorts I've been out with enough times. I get more shit and more serious shit from the escorts, probably since most of my SBs are very much regular girl types who mostly have their lives together. The escorts, on the other hand, are usually hot messes. Many do too much drugs, have deadbeat boyfriends or girlfriends that steal, etc. If there's shit I don't want to deal with, I'll start dropping them right away. If the shit is not too bad financially and I feel I can trust them, then I'll use it as leverage to bang them for the long haul. Sometimes, getting her car fixed while taking her on vacation works out to much less than the original arrangement. Sometimes, paying her rent to bang her almost every day at her place also works out beautifully.
Don't forget, many women just need to vent. You don't always have to do anything. You listen, then they think you're a good friend, then they give you freebies.
I tend to see escorts over a long period of time. Some of the gals I see never were escorts in the sense that we normally use the term, but rather gals I met at an MP, and got to know well enough that we started to see each other off campus. Another gal I see was introduced to me as a 3-way partner, and then we started to get it on by ourselves. Other gals were escorts, but over time drifted away from being active, but still make time for me.
But either way, when you know a gal long enough (And that can be an hour with some gals.), you begin to know their entire life story, and become a sympathetic ear.
I personally don't mind this most of the time, though there are times I can begin to get fed up with it, and so do a little venting of my own.
But this is all a part of the life we choose. If being a part of another's life is not something that you are into, then become a one and done kind of guy.
near retirement and in the same situation with a dearth of quality pros, I feel your pain. Unfortunately, dealing with their personal problems is the main reason they are on SA to begin with. I do tend to shy away from those that start in with that stuff before the server can bring us our drinks. I've even go so far to add the following to the very end of my profile..
"Also, just some unsolicited advice. On the first date, it's really bad form to constantly (or even at all) bring up your financial situation...credit card debt, student loans, yada yada yada. We understand that you are here because you want a little something extra in your life and we are prepared to help you with it. Of course this doesn't mean you can't discuss the arrangement toward the end of the date."
That's been up about a month and I haven't really seen a big drop in responses.
and the reason I am constantly looking for new ones to replace the ones I lose to attrition.
I use a pretty similar technique as you do when I start to tire of an SB (or tire of her bullshit). I simply start being less and less available until she gets the hint. I rarely just "end" things as I leave myself an out to reach out to her during those times when EVERY girl seems to be busy or unavailable at the same time, but once you get the ratio of her texting you to you texting back at a rate of about 3-1, they usually get the hint.
And yes, I too try to balance it out by seeing the occasiional hooker, it kind of keeps things in perspective.
One of my SBs really has a pack of troubles in her life. So she vents, and I listen. And sometimes I offer comments, insights, and advice that leave her truly stunned by my wisdom. She thinks I'm some kind of amazing rare person and works even harder than normal to keep me happy and satisfied. Also you gotta remember that most of these young women really have had a hard time in their lives. It seems to be the norm for many SBs. So offering a sympathetic ear and being a good friend often leads to them just wanting to bang the fuck out of you with great enthusiasm.
In my experience it's always best to just listen. Sometimes I will ask them if they want some feedback or if they want me to share my thoughts. If they say no, it's fine with me.
I think most women just want someone to listen to them.
Very similar to my experience. Unlike with escorts, where you usually do not see "behind the curtain", with SBs you likely will. And I agree that many of them have had a tough time in life, and this is often because of the guys they've been with, so one of my basic principles in the sugar bowl is "Don't be an asshole". SO many guys ARE assholes that just --not-- being an asshole can compensate for being older, not as good looking, and, to some extent, even not being the richest SD available.
I think I can give this advice freely, without worrying too much about enabling all my "competitors" because---as amazing as this seems to me---a lot of guys would rather be assholes than score with lovely young SBs. Very strange, but I hear so many accounts from SBs that I'm forced to believe it is true.
Eventually it gets VERY old listening to takes of woe, especially repeat stories.
In my experience, too much listening, empathy or even giving a bit of fatherly advice often leads to them asking for EXTRA $$$HELP !
My response to that is usually " Sugar, your request puts us both in a VERY AWKWARD POSITION ! "
Rarely has the arrangement gotten better from there...so Im looking for an effective method to PREVENT SB's from even starting down that road with me.
I ALWAYS try to re-direct the conversation as soon as she starts with the crapola but that doesn't usually prevent them from coming back to it.
I realize that I may be asking for the moon here but think it's worth exploring further.
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