....that is the question!

Earlier today I had my first BCD date with a new SB.  But I was nervous about it because she did not want a preliminary M&G so we could check each other out beforehand.  In the past I've had all sorts of disappointment in this scenario:  last minute begging for gas $ or babysitter $, last minute upsells, girls who don't look like their photos, or have gained a ton of weight, or simply a lack of vibe from one or both of us.    So I generally insist on a M&G beforehand.  When a potential new playmate does not want a prelim M&G, it's at least a yellow flag for me.

I was def surprised this time as well, but in a good way!  She communicated perfectly in advance, showed up on time, and looked waaayyyy cuter than her pics!  Omg, tiny, petite 25yo girl, totally adorbs, totally DTF and easy to talk to. She was wearing the teeniest shorts and top, with nothing whatsoever underneath either except her adorable femininity.  Very few restrictions, and very affordable.  Wow!  After the fun and games we talked about her past, about sugaring and about escorting.  Turned out she had never heard of TER and was fascinated to learn there's a way for girls to vet the boys and vice versa.  She has GFs who do escorting and who also seem unaware of the safety that using TER provides.  I'd say that my new SB is at least a semi pro, but very comfortable with the Sugar Dating protocol, i.e., never asking for $ in advance, not a clock watcher, etc.

So, doing without a preliminary M&G has led me to a number of noteworthy disappointments.  But insisting on a M&G this time around might well have cost me a great date with a real cutie.  What's your experience and procedure like?  Do you insist on a M&G in advance?  Hookups while traveling don't count, cuz the situation is very different.  I'm talking about meeting a new local SB who might turn into a regular addition to your rotation.  What have your experiences been like, with and without a M&G?

Final thought.  I know some of you will schedule a M&G with the understanding that you will go BCD immediately if the vibe is good.  That's a problem for me because I need to take my timed pharmaceuticals in advance.  So I prefer to have scheduled dates only, not spontaneous ones.

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But I'm not ready to abandon them just yet.  I am considering the M&G with explicit option to go BCD as a better way to avoid, or at least reduce, no shows. Fortunately, I have large stockpiles of my meds on hand and if I waste a dose or two once in a while, I won't even miss them.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

First point
- If a gal skips the M&G, IMHO it is even more likely that she would have  ghosted on a BCD date. For many of us, that would be even more $$ and time wasted than on a M&G (and much more indiscreet).

 
Second point
Do you actually talk to these women before agreeing to a M&G, or just text? I think talking to them, or even better, a video chat, is a good way to weed out those that are inclined to ghost.

 
Finally,
A M&G or video chat is almost essential IMHO. Too many catfish and scammers out there to risk otherwise. If they are not pros in the other sense, then many of these women could be pro photographers - amazing how they can come up with flattering poses (or 10-20 year old photos).

I do a lot of these.  Especially if it's a 45 minutes drive or more.  Not a guarantee of a girl showing, but reduced chances.

I have large stockpiles too.  I don't mind "wasting" some pills from time to time.  I just object to getting myself cranked up and ready, then having a no show.  But maybe I'll try the explicit BCD option next time.  Not quite sure how to do it smoothly though.  How do you offer the option without sounding creepy or crude?  

An exploratory no-rush M&G and no 1st date BCD is a rule for me. This establishes her punctuality and reliability to be able to adhere to my very specific and tight schedule. It also gives her and I both a chance to process our 'get acquainted date', because often little details will escape my immediate attention during our meet until I've had a chance to process them.  

 
If a POT flakes on our scheduled/separate BCD date, she is not going to be reliable enough to maintain a steady arrangement. Since I am not looking for bang and bail one-offs/short term hookups, her ability to be able to arrive on time on our scheduled dates on a regular basis is essential.  

 
So far I've had a decent success rate with this policy, as a large percentage of my M&G's have resulted in successful longer term arrangements of 3 months or more. Getting them to the M&G is the challenge as most POTS are flakes.    

No criticism intended here Dick, just commenting how differently our approaches can be, and all are valid.

 
First Point:  When I've had a girl skip the M&G, it has occasionally presaged future flakiness with BCD dates.  But no more so than with those who did have a M&G with me.  Go figure!

 
Second Point:  I never talk to them in advance.  And I've never done a video call in my life, don't even know how!  Partly it's because I'm a dinosaur, and partly because I'm weirdly weirded out by the idea of it.  I am very  successful, confident, and comfortable meeting a girl in person, and communicating via the written word, but not via phone or video.

 
Finally: See Second Point.

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Let's be real sweetman: we old dinosaurs look like old dinosaurs on video calls, whereas in real life you would easily think we weren't much old than 50 or so.
True.

I want to say one word to you. Just one word. Filters.

If that's true, (I wouldn't know) it's just one more reason to never do video calls.

I'll also add that I ALWAYS do a voice call before agreeing to meet for an M&G. During that voice call we'll discuss our availability and just chat, maybe 5-10 mins max. Sometimes we'll even discuss PPM, if we haven't discussed that in our initial texts.  

 
If she seems low energy, bad attitude or she mentions she wants to be paid for a BCD I will gently ease out of the conversation and not contact her again, or say "we're  not a match."  

 
I do eliminate a lot of wasted time doing the initial voice call. If she's not making an effort in our voice call she's likely not going to make an effort to show up for a BCD/start or maintain an arrangement.        

Filters for video chats can remove wrinkles, but I don't believe one to remove, say 20-40 pounds exists, or would not be obvious.