Dear likeGibson,
See the answers as follows:
1. Is this do you suppose just her way of making the experience truly GFE and not real?
It's truly impossible to answer this with some certainty, as we have not heard from the provider in question. Who knows? She may feel this way in the moment, but once she is no longer with you, she may forget all about it. Please remember that providers sometimes compartmentalize to the point of almost creating alternate identities without necessarily implying that they have dissociative identity disorder (formerly known as multiple personality disorder). It may be that the role she is playing, i.e. the role of Ms. X, with all that it entails, may express attraction to your looks. But, since her feelings are not invested with any depth, she may defocus her attention on you and your appearance after the session is over. Is she doing this to "protect herself?" From what? From falling in love with you? Granted, that might be a nice thought, but it certainly seems to apply more to females in terms of our own cultural conditioning than it does to males. We don't question when a man screws a girl and in the heat of the moment tells her she's the hottest thing on wheels, but minutes later, after he's climaxed, he's out and running and thinking of other issues. This could be a possibility for her as well; she's hot for you while in bed, but once you're gone, she's got other fish to fry and doesn't feel anything for you in particular.
2. Should I stop seeing her?
Well, yes - if you can't tolerate the fact that she just likes you in bed during the time you have together.
In some way, your posting could have been written by a woman who falls for "a cad" [uh-oh, now I'm really showing my age, haha]. She gives it up to him, he takes "advantage" of her and then ignores her until he's hot and feels a little in the mood for female company. And yet, when I dig a little deeper in your posting, it seems that you need and want some sincere validation. And if you do, I sure as hell wouldn't go looking at it from professional providers, even though their flattering comments about your looks may be ever so sincere - in the moment.
Let me slip back into my juvenile persona [see, we shrinks play roles too, haha] and torture you all with the words of one of my fave bands Offspring:
I wrote her off for the tenth time today
And practiced all the things I would say
When she came over I lost my nerve
I took her bag and made her dessert
Now I know I'm being used
But that's okay man cause I like the abuse
I know she's playing with me
But that's okay cause I've got no self esteem
chorus:
Oh wayo, yeah, yeah
Ohhhhhhh, yeah, yeah (Repeat three times)
We make plans go out at night
I wait till 2 then I turn out the light
this rejection’s got me so low
If she keeps it up I just might tell her so
Chorus
When she's saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she saying, oh that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can stand
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah!
Now I'll relay this little bit
It happens more than I'd like to admit
Late at night, she knocks on my door
She's drunk again and, looking to score
Now I know, I should say no, but
It's kind of hard when she's ready to go
I may be dumb, but I'm not a dweeb
I'm just a sucker with no self esteem
Chorus
When she's saying, oh that she wants only me
Then I wonder why she sleeps with my friends
When she's saying, oh that I'm like a disease
Then I wonder how much more I can spend
Well I guess, I should stick up for myself
But I really think it's better this way
The more you suffer
The more it shows you really care
Right? Yeah!
Lala lala lala lala,
the Love Goddess
That is all very helpful. Thank you. I have an ability to compartimatalize business and other things, but typically not woman. I now understand that this has become a part of her way of life as an escort, and there are other things in her past that has truly caused her to compartmentalize - I'll leave that there.
But one thing about her feeling hot about us in bed that survives the date, and maybe I am rationalizing here. But in her "weaker" moments, she acknowledges that she has opened her heart to me outside of the bedroom, in subsequent communication. But the hard truth is that she really only communicates directly and promptly when it is all about the next date - i.e. money.
So, I may see her again. Good that we are separated by distance. But I will only do so with my mental armour on. Would you recommend against my discussing any of this with her. We do discuss openly, but often this leads to tears.
I'm more concerned with you, likeGibson,
than I am with her. Any discussions about emotions that you engage in could potentially disappoint you further when your hopes of forging a deeper connection are dashed.
This is not a criticism against the provider - it's merely an acknowledgment that it's a business.
A fucking business,
the Love Goddess
LG
Don't want to beat a dead horse here, nor do I believe I am being as naïve as the email chain here implies.
What is lacking in the discussion and in Brennan's reaction - is that the lady in question proactively provokes discussion of a relationship, and of opening her heart. This is beyond normal boundaries and I suggest not the way Brennan handles her dates. This seems disingenious and has caused me to conclude to not continue to see her.
