Dear dinoffer,

"If I bring this issue up with providers, can they be a good resource for advice?" Well, as good as anyone else who sees you for an hour, has sex with you and talks to you for a little while. From what you are describing, your issue is not sexual intimacy but emotional connection. Hence, if you really want to engage in a process of self-discovery and analysis to find out why your relationships do not evolve romantically, I'd say it would be more productive to get with a therapist or a psychologist who specializes in relationship therapy.

As to the answer to your question - impossible to offer something without knowing anything about your life history, previous relationships, interactions with people, cultural background, etc. etc. etc. As for the "mutual attraction," it doesn't seem like you have a problem getting attracted to women, but that the women have a problem getting attracted to you - at least the women you DO want.

Seek assistance beyond this board and begin a process of in-depth self-discovery - at least you'll be more knowledgeable and can make some changes in your behavior or outlook to help build future relationships.

Socrates said it - know thyself,
The Love Goddess

IF you;re lucky, you may find a provider who views her profession as therapy and a provider who takes a personal interest in you may be a good resource. I've talked with a few providers about how to approach women and how to interact with them to avoid the friend zone. You may even try some role playing with them by approaching them in a bar, etc.

In addition, ask the provider to provide some honest feedback about how to be a good sex partner. Knowing that about yourself can be half the battle you're fighting. Wimmenz find confidence attractive.