Got a wee bit O' a problem. Well really not sure it is. I'm hit or miss sometimes. There are some providers I get a strong erection with and there are others that I go soft and don't achieve. There are three ladies I see that in order for me to complete an O I have to finish myself off by masturbating. There is one provider I see and it's never a issue. Sometimes when I see a new provider it's the same thing there also. What gives???
You are not alone in this. I, and I'm sure many others find the attraction of some gals overwhelming while others are much less so.
I can not ascribe it to looks, performance, or even their personalities.
These are the gals who are keepers.
Dear Not_Sure,
This is a very common and normal occurrence and only proves that individual differences matter as much as evolutionary strategies that apply to universals among humans.
As others in this thread have pointed out, it comes down to chemistry. That could mean pheromones, mechanics or even reactions to stored memories of something/someone.
My question is, why do you continue to see the three ladies who can't bring you to an O without you masturbating? What is it that they have that brings you back?
As to the new provider, it could be anything from performance anxiety to lack of habituation. Chemistry again, I believe.
I really wouldn't classify this as a "problem,"
The Love Goddess
Why would i continue to see them????
Somf baby. Smother me good. LOL
sometimes I pop in the baggie, sometimes I don't. I never know. Like you, I am hit or miss. I have popped in bag when I never thought I would and have not when I thought sure I would. Can't explain it.
It just happens or it doesn't. Last thing you want to do is worry about it, that only makes it worse. Just relax, have fun, and enjoy wherever and whenever you pop.
Swim
I'm with Swim. At my age, sometimes I can, sometimes I can't. No obvious reason. I just enjoy the trip, even though sometimes I don't make it to my destination. Still a lot of fun to travel though.
Another ditto. I enjoy longer sessions, but can't stay up for 2 hours straight. Like you, I just enjoy the ride.
I haven't ejaculated inside a provider since my first appointment with my now ATF almost four years ago. Condoms are the reason. I generally finish by BJ or HJ. Occasionally I have to finish the job myself...that's when the ATF will start licking my balls while I stroke. It actually feels pretty darn good!
I haven't really been attracted to most of the providers I've seen, and I had varying degrees of erection problems and difficulties achieving an orgasm. I thought it was a combination of nerves, alchol, and condoms, but today I had a session with a smoking hot provider. The kind of hot that I was hoping for when I got into the hobby. I was hard as a rock throughout, even with the condom, and had to slow down to keep from popping too soon (both times!)
Good chemistry helps some, but I think lack of physical attraction is my kryptonite. Yours may be something else, but this is definitely not just happening to you.
I truly care for her and want to please her whenever we are together. The common result is that she has to work her ass off, so to speak, to get me to a finish. Clearly a case of performance anxiety. I hardly ever have had similar problems with other ladies, in whom I am not so emotionally invested.
Interesting.That could explain the issue I am having with a very longtime client who has evolved into a very close friend. I know his feelings have evolved too even though he is married. I have made it very clear (gently of course) that my feelings do not match his.
No, during any bcd activities I have noticed in the last year that things have gotten way more difficult to complete. Could be the same scenario and I have tried to bring this up with him as to why things have gotten more difficult and is there anything I can do. He is not really interested in exploring this line of conversation much to my chagrin.
It has gotten to the point that being with him on this level is getting harder for me to do as it really is starting to feel like hard work. In fact I have considered having the discussion with him about ceasing bcd activities all together as I do get anxious before our meetings and find myself not enjoying them (and I don't mean my satisfaction but his...or lack of sometimes).
A dilemma of course and am still struggling with what to do.