I like to consider myself fairly "adventurous" in my sexual likes. I am really up for almost anything except giving and receiving pain, and I am straight. Now, with that said, I kind of go with the flow and don't have to do everything every time, but I am running up on SB that don't do some of the standard stuff you would expect from a GFE. Kinda takes the fun out of it when you are in the middle of things and she stops you and says "Oh, no. I don't do that" . Anyone else finding this?
I have one SB who initially refused to go down on me. Disappointing, to say the least, but I did not make a big deal out of it. Over time she revealed to me that every other guy she'd given head to had behaved like an asshole and had forcibly grabbed her head and jammed their cock down her throat. So naturally she assumed all men were assholes when it came to blow jobs! After she learned to trust me she began giving me the sweetest bjs ever. She even lets me touch her head and gently stroke her hair while doing it. So my point is, don't assume that what seems like a hard no right now can't change over time.
But to be honest, sometimes no means no and does not change. Another SB of mine really does not give BJs. And we've known each other for 2 years and that hasn't changed. In her case I value her friendship so much that I'm willing to accept this. But it's a case by case decision, and if the SB's reluctance corresponds to your very favorite activity, then you've got a dilemma.
Trust is exactly the factor at play here. Too many guys go in with a checklist of things they want to do with little consideration for what actually feels good to her at the moment.
I've only gotten turned down for certain activities with shitty pros that I'm seeing for the first time. The kind where you get into the room and immediately know you've wasted your money. The kind where they just want you to hump and come within a few minutes.
I've yet to have this happen with a civvie or SB. I feel like the sex needs to evolve with non-pros. I start simply with just foreplay (hands on her body) and vanilla intercourse, popping in a condom, but I make it a point to remember what she likes and how she likes it, even subtle things like touching her behind the knees or how I grab her ass. As I figure out what she likes, the menu gets much much bigger. One girl got unexpectedly turned on with me gently stroking her asshole while fucking her, that she spontaneously decided to try anal for the first time. I didn't even have to ask.
I'm also sure most girls don't really enjoy BJs. Most just do it because they're coerced. I never ask for BJs. I only get them when things flow that way. It still happens with most girls though, even the ones that claim they hate giving them. As long as they know I have their pleasure as my top priority.
Well said, trust really is the key factor. And so many of these SBs have never experienced intimacy with a guy who is not a jerk! It actually makes it easier for us to get a very positive response just by behaving like a gentleman. As for BJs, it's not a mission critical factor for me although I do enjoy it obviously. And I agree that some women do it out of a sense of obligation. But one SB I had a while ago said it was her very favorite sex act. She just loved a cock in her mouth and was truly expert at giving oral pleasure. Of course I gave her the opportunity to enjoy that experience many, many times. She's the only woman I've ever known who made me feel like I was actually doing her a favor by putting my cock in her mouth, she liked it so much!
Yes, as I said, I like to go with the flow of the moment too. I have no checklist. My last regular SB was very structured...quick BJ, long DATY (almost too long), and then fuck...every time...no deviation...didn't want to be on top. Beautiful woman and sex was good....just got old.
I have had it happen a few times. I try to get as much as possible agreed upon before we meet but, sometimes, there are misunderstandings (or maybe she changes her mind). When that has happened, they are one and done with me.
If you get her to agree ahead of time, aren’t you getting the stranger’s price and menu? I don’t discuss anything ahead of time except for safe sex and boundaries.
If she agrees to a "price and menu" sight unseen, you are getting the "no matter how repulsive he is" price.
I am honest about my age etc. on my profile so if she agrees to see me knowing I am pushing 60 I am VERY confident I can get a better arrangement than the average 60 year old due to my "wit and charm" lol
I firmly believe that the guys who negotiate ahead of time are not very confident about their game in person, I am (rightfully or not) pretty confident that once she meets me I am going to get the "not repulsive" rate and menu. lol
Ditto for me, mostly.
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I generally don't start any negotiation until after (or during) our face to face meet. I try to read how comfortable she is about discussing sex and discussing/asking for sugar. If she's new or shy, I'll usually wait until the next day and do it by text. It's a "normal" mode of talking (at least for her and millennials in general) and she can take her time to reply. So she's less likely to feel pressured or stressed to agree to something she really doesn't feel comfortable with.
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However, there are some SB's who ask prior to our M&G, or don't even want a M&G. These are always pro's or semi-pros and I shift to treat them accordingly. That means we just negotiate a session and I'll take things like dinners, shopping, travel, etc.. off the table. I'm totally ok with meeting a 18-25 year old spinner, fucking her brains out and sending her on her way (Think Door Dash for SB's!). The next day I'll be picking up one of my other SB's for a weekend road trip to Paso Robles and I'll just have a big smile on may face and hard on in my pants for her.
I guess I didn’t explain my process completely enough. I set the price and the menu. I don’t care what her price and menu are. If she doesn’t agree to mine, I move on. Therefore sight unseen how repulsive I am doesn’t enter into it. I have a nice rotation going for me, including SBs who have referred me to their college friends who aren’t even on SA. It works for me, but I understand everyone has their own approach that works for them.
I’ve also found this to be true on some of the younger girls. I had one who was gfe in every sense of the word until it came time for the climax and she suddenly informed me that she doesn’t like a guys cum anywhere near her. I thought this a rather strange time to admit this, right at the moment of truth. Needless to say it took the wind out of my sails. So, yes, I have been experiencing some behavior with SB’s that I never had with pros.
My #2 SB (21 y/o) swears she is allergic to cum...WTF.
Doesn't stop her her from CIM and swallowing the whole load, so go figure...
Accept that and then deal with it.