I recently joined the hobby and I gave my virginity to a provider. I got kind of tired of waiting for the right girl, I'm not a popular guy with women. I want to share a problem that I'm having and I hope that you can help me with your advice.
Before I joined the hobby, I could finish off myself through masturbation in less than 4 minutes. When I had sex for the first time, my provider was worried about me finishing too quick and she wanted to know if I was the one minute man. The session was for one hour, both me and her were surprised that I did not finish for the next 50-55 minutes. As hard as I tried I had trouble finishing and could not "finish" and she had to "finish" me manually. I did enjoy my time with her.
The second time I saw another provider, I had trouble "finishing" and I tried and tried and just couldn't. She had to "finish" me manually too because our 1 hour session was running out. I don't know if there is something wrong with me. I know there are guys out there who have the opposite problem, they "finish" way too fast. But me, it takes long for me to "finish". As much as I try to "finish" quicker, I just can't. Please help me, I am worried about this problem. I seek your advice, thanks.
In reference to your post above, hungrylion1,
You are having trouble because of guilt and performance anxiety, in addition to having created a masturbatory pattern for yourself that doesn't include a living, breathing female.
Quit masturbating and start interacting ONLY with live females. Yes, there are condoms involved, but you can purchase female condoms and ask the provider to wear one. If you continue to condition yourself to porn or images in your head coupled with giving yourself handjobs, then that's going to be the way that you need to finish. Granted, there are worse things out there, but if you want to finish inside a woman, you'll need to change your behavior.
In addition, the brain is what rules your sexual experience, not your penis. If you are feeling guilty or anxious, you will have problems. I urge you to view this section of Woody Allen's "Everything you always wanted to know about sex." Ignore the French subtitles, the sound quality is best on this clip. Or get the whole film on DVD. In the meantime, it's says it all.
Have some happy ejaculations,
The Love Goddess
Thanks Love Goddess.
Most Thankful,
The Hungry Lion
Agree with everything LG wrote. I suggest several days sex rest before a live encounter & do so myself.
Condoms do interfere with sensation. A female condom has been suggested, which is a good idea.
Another idea is the thinner latex premium condoms which give better sensation. All condoms are not equal... there are many sizes & shaped products. It is a delicate balance of enough room... or too tight or too loose. Friction is what causes a climax. So the condom needs to fit so that there's some slippage (movement) for you, while still gripping the shaft tight enough to stay on. A touch of lube inside may help too.
Be aware that providers (and civie dates) are cautious about condoms provided by gentlemen. A lady has the right to refuse to use yours... I usually place them on the bed side table & excuse myself to the bathroom to wash my hands & anything else which needs it... giving her an opportunity to inspect the packaging for damage. No one has ever refused me, but I respect her right to do so.
You may have issues with focus. GFE ladies are very good with the illusion... let your mind believe (for the time) that she IS your girl friend. Just enjoy the feeling of a warm & soft woman in your arms.
skb
I agree with everything LG and SKB said. My problem was different than yours in that I could have sex with my SO just fine without a condom, but found it difficult to finish with a condom with a provider. I found staying with the same lady that I felt a connection with helped tremendously. On, my second return visit I was successful, and have not had the problem since.