I posted on the Newbie board and it was suggested that I post my message here on the Erotic Highway:

"Brand new to the hobby and went out on my first sexual adventure.  Got an amazing massage with a nice playful and sexy lady, but when it came down to it I couldn't get my lil' buddy to come up and play.  This has never happened before with any other of my sex partners.  Sure, I was nervous at first but I was feeling pretty damn comfortable by the time the fondling and bj's began.

So here's my question: Is this my mind and body's way of telling me this "hobby" just isn't my thing?  Should I try it again one more time and hope I don't disappoint myself again?  I got to say I was pretty sad and embarrassed."

here's a link to the thread

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=32036&boardID=33&page=

Well, not knowing much about you or your hobbying experience, I would think this is your first time or close to it just by reading the first line or your post.

With a partner it is one thing to be able to have an erection and keep it because you tend to be more comfortable.  With the hobby, in my experience as a provider, it is different for men.  Sometimes they are so nervous about the whole encounter they can't stay erect or can't get there at all.  Everyone has a different reason though.  Some are nervous because of the situation, the encounter, the idea of paying for someones time, medical conditions, prescriptions they are taking.  There are many reasons hun.  Some may be a mental state of mind while others are out of your control.  

Being embarrassed is normal in this situation for a man.  Trust me, we girls have some pretty embarrassing moments as well, so I wouldn't fret on it for to long.  I know in my experience, when this has happened, I felt bad because I felt like I wasn't doing my part.  Some of us providers have had it happen several times and others never; no need to be shy because chances are we feel it's us, not you.  

I would say try again, maybe even with the same girl.  This way you already know her and kind of know how the situation might go, so it won't be so alarming to you, so to speak.  But don't think you are alone either.  There are many first time people in this hobby and long time hobbyist that have/had the same problem.  You are normal and don't be embarrassed hun.

Smooches,
Tasha

Like you, I never had a proplem with my SO.It happened to me on my second provider.  She was very beautiful but was at least twenty years my junior. Hind sight reviews being 20/20, what I was expecting was a more intimate encounter and she was too young to have developed that talent yet. She gave it her all but I just couldn't get junior to cooperate. I plan on the little blue pill or "see Alice" next time more as a confidence booster than anything.  Do your homework and go for a well reviewed provider that fits your tastes closely.

It's very common. It happened to me and still does on occasion. I'll be "ready" all day long and then at the big moment I feel "odd" because of the circumstances. Don't worry about, it's perfectly natural for a variety of reasons. That probably doesn't make you feel better right now, but later on when this isn't an issue, it will.

Had a very similar 1st just a few weeks ago.  I too am new to this, and was very nervous and apprehensive, so I chalked it up to that nervousness.  I am looking forward to another experience with the same lovely lady.  I think the second time I will feel much better.

Dear sumgai [someguy, very cute!]

This is sooooo common that I wouldn't even sweat it. What you experienced is a dose of good old-fashioned 'performance anxiety,' nothing more, nothing less. The brain is a funny organ and when you least expect it, those darn things up in the prefrontal cortex will make all sorts of judments! I recall Woody Allen's film "Everything you always wanted to know about sex." In the latter part of the film, where Woody plays a sperm, there is an entire humorous sequence of the brain actually taking on the form of various humans. Well, just when they guy is going to make his move, they find 'a priest' tampering in the 'conscience room! You'd have to see it to believe it, but it's a very funny sequence.

So, back to you now. Yes, you should absolutely try again. Just get up on that bike and keep pedaling. Performance anxiety goes away with time and with exposure. You can call the same lady again, or try someone else. Also, a nice paradoxical intervention you can do for yourself is to completely take the focus off on getting erect. Go into the encounter with the expectation that it's NOT going to happen; in fact, you may even mention to the lady in question that you're not expecting great fireworks, just a nice time. And watch something very interesting occur: your penis will all of a sudden have a will of its own, just to contradict the upstairs master for a change.

Btw, if you were experiencing feelings of negativity toward the hobby, I don't think you'd be so 'comfortable' in the situation. And above all, this is nothing to be "embarrassed" over, although I understand why you were sad. But addressing it into the open before the encounter with a professional provider is entirely OK. Remember that these ladies have seen and heard just about everything and they take such things in proper stride.

Back, Jack, do it again...
the Love Goddess

Woody plays a sperm whose greatest fear is that he'll get stuck on the ceiling.  Hysterical!

I've had about 10 visits to escorts, so far and it's always the same for me. Fortunately, I can cum without having to be fully erect, so a nice BJ will always do it for me. However, I do envy my fellow hobbyists that do the mish, doggie, and CG without much of a problem. I can only dream!

And then there's always the "chemistry" factor - sometimes, no matter how good everything looks on paper (or in real life), there is simply no spark when you meet.  Chemistry is incredibly unpredictable - but when it's right,it's delightful!