First, I am not a VIP so no PM. I am a mostly healthy male 56, some mild hypertension.  

I have played hard in the hobby from time to time in my life. My last wife and I were in the swingers lifestyle. I never had a problem preforming , not cuming or cuming too quickly. I did use ED drugs (from a doctor) to MAKE sure! She left for another woman, I went into a deep depression, I was treated with antidepressants and therapy. During that time, I lost all desire of self pleasure, but could still have sex if I choose to. During that time is was more difficult to climax.
After the drugs were stopped (about 2 years ago) I have had trouble cuming too quickly. I have also had problems become erect. so much so I always use ED drugs (doctor prescribed) .

For the last 4 months I have been seeing one person, and sex has been good, getting better. We normally only see each other once a week. I still need the ED drugs and still climax way to quickly. I still do not have much desire for self pleasure.

Any suggestions?

Thanks

Dear mikeinmd2007,

This is almost more of a medical question than a psychological one. You are 56 and on antihypertensives? Those can have all kinds of effects on you. As for climaxing too quickly, in Europe they are using dapoxetine, a type of SSRI for premature ejaculation. Not so here - yet. Paradoxically, the ED drugs can make for delayed orgasm, so I'm not quite sure what's happening here.

I think you need to be patient with yourself. You can practice Masters and Johnson's stop-start method or the Seamans' squeeze (pull out, pinch your penis at the base and press hard, then go back in), or try Tantric sex, which is slow and does not involve much "pounding."

I also believe that you need to discuss your meds with your physician. You may need to switch BP meds or the ED meds, since the response to meds is so highly individual.

Finally, I'd also say that any sex after experiencing trauma is dependent on trust. The longer you know your new partner, the more you'll be able to relax and not focus so much on 'extraneous variables.'

I'd call the doc first,
The Love Goddess

Wow, you really know your stuff. Are you some kind of a health expert?

Thank you, raj1521,

I am a licensed psychotherapist, a certified sexologist, and a researcher of men's issues and sexuality.


The Love Goddess

YOU rock Love Goddess and I want to recommend CERTIFIED from validated Tantra schools. The training does make a difference.
the Divine Delilah Devi Ma