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The Erotic Highway

Re: Big Problem Here
sweetman 93 Reviews 857 reads
posted
1 / 21
another post about the double standard

Browsing on Seeking, it continues to be obvious that the new policies against anything hinting of a transactional relationship are not applied equally to the men and the women. The guys will get warned and banned for violating these policies.  The girls get a free pass.  Here's a quote from one girl's profile I ran across recently:  

i’m looking for a mutually beneficial relationship, with financial help, but i love it when it’s more than just transaction and we can actually enjoy each other’s company  

This profile was created in March of 2025, so it's def recent enough that it should have triggered censure. It certainly would have, if you or I had posted it!  Seems to prove the point that Seeking admin is making a big show about eliminating paid-for companionship from their site, but in fact, knows where their bread is buttered.

netnoy 80 Reviews 56 reads
posted
2 / 21
Are you reporting the profile or no?

Only way to change it would be for a lot of us to report profiles.  However, since most of us don't care and want something similar, who gives a shit?  Just get to texting and work it out there.

Newto1000 74 reads
posted
3 / 21
Get Over It

We all know that there is a blatant double standard just as there is with a lot of stuff.  Brandon owns the site so he can create any fucking double standard he wants.  If you don't like it just leave.

Dick.Everhard 66 reads
posted
4 / 21
Big Problem Here

There is a big problem for SDs with this double standard. Women who post these explicit transactional profiles will also be explicit in their messaging. And if you - the SD - engage with these explicit messages? Ban hammer! - on you, not on her.

 I know this, as it happened to me years ago, long before the present Great Purity Purge - there were several mini purity purges in the past.

In case you don't get it, these periodic "purity purges" remind me of how Stalin periodically purged the CCCP.

BdrmFun48 70 reads
posted
5 / 21
Re: Big Problem Here

This is true. Which is a great incentive to get off the site as quickly as possible when discussing details of an 'arrangement.' Problem is, many of these gals want to qualify the SD right on the site before committing to going offline and therein lies the rub.

netnoy 80 Reviews 68 reads
posted
6 / 21
Re: Big Problem Here

I just reply that perhaps we should discuss this over text.  No problems there.

sweetman 93 Reviews 51 reads
posted
7 / 21
Re: Are you reporting the profile or no?

I'm happy to see profiles like this!  So no, I'd never report her!

sweetman 93 Reviews 67 reads
posted
8 / 21
Re: Get Over It

I do like it!  Never meant to give the impression that I don't like it, simply pointing it out!

sweetman 93 Reviews 63 reads
posted
9 / 21
Re: Get Over It

I do like it!  Never meant to give the impression that I don't like it, simply pointing it out!

herbtcat 6 Reviews 52 reads
posted
10 / 21
Move to text

I don't even reference past messages in my reply. I just say "Let's connect by text. Here's my text number..."  

 
And I'll add this to the OP's thesis: The application of this double standard is not consistent between POT SB's.  I heard from 2 of the recent 12 POT's that I've messaged off the site or met face to face that they received warning messages on the site for terms like PPM or FWB.  

 
I even connected a POT who's tag line was "Best tits on the planet, thanks to my ex."  That left me scratching my head. Her pics did indeed suggest amazing tits. But when she opened the allowance discussion (on the 2nd text) at "$1000-1500 ppm" I gifted (i.e.: tossed) her back into the great POT Pool of Seeking where she can try to bite someone else's hook.

 
Can you imagine if your tag line was "Best cock on the planet" ?  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Dick.Everhard 57 reads
posted
11 / 21
Re: Are you reporting the profile or no?

After several bad experience, IMHO it is a bad idea to report profiles. Brings you to the attention of reviewers/moderators. And they can be completely inconsistent/arbitrary.

The only exception I would make is underage girls. Encountered one once, and reported her immediately.

Dick.Everhard 77 reads
posted
12 / 21
Re: Big Problem Here

Posted By: netnoy
Re: Big Problem Here
I just reply that perhaps we should discuss this over text.  No problems there.
While I understand what you, BdrmFun48 and our resident Feline are advocating, that did not work for me in multiple instances. Now my experience is a few years ago, during some of the "purges", but what I encountered was that simply engaging with a woman who mentioned PPM or $$$, just to the extent of asking to move to text was enough to bring the ban hammer. Presumably because I/you are going to engage on that premise.  

Is this no longer so?

BdrmFun48 70 reads
posted
13 / 21
Re: Big Problem Here

Yes, Dick.E, that is still the case. This is the 'rub' I referred to in my post. Prior to going offline to discuss details, if the girl immediately asks about 'PPM' or makes any reference to a paid arrangement, the man risks getting banned.  

 
There is some debate over whether or not the ban is strictly enforced, and if it's contingent on responding to her reference. But it's a tricky dance to try to get her off the site as quickly as possible without appearing to be a scammer yourself.  

 
Remember, the girls are getting scammed too. This is also done by getting the girl off of the site as quickly as possible so the rinse/scam can go undetected by Seeking.  

 
It's a real mess all around and it's not getting any easier.

herbtcat 6 Reviews 56 reads
posted
14 / 21
Ban hammer

That hasn't been my experience, but perhaps that's the heart of the problem:  

 
No matter what the "trigger," the rules appear to be applied inconsistently, with no apparent clues to help understand why.   Papa Sweet went through a phase where his account was banned multiple times - triggered by a hacker - maybe. You and others have cited being warned or banned for what might only be an Admin drawing a twisted inference of taboo chat.  

 
I have been lucky to have never been banned or warned.  

 
And we have all seen POT SB profiles and messages with flagrant violations get either ignored or insta-nuked.  

 
I don't know if my extra-cautious approach has saved me, or if I've just never been on some Admin's radar for some other reason, including random chance.  

 
But since I was balls deep last night for about 5 hours, I'm trying not to let this ruin my day. LOL  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

netnoy 80 Reviews 72 reads
posted
15 / 21
Re: Big Problem Here

Not been the case for me.  As Herb said, it's inconsistent.

I only received one warning and I'm pretty sure it was the same girls who were escorts and were pissed i wasn't willing to pay $1,000 for an hour of protected sex.  They are also the ones who reviewed me on Mr Number for being cheap.  Said review caused another pro to reply to me directly on seeking that the reviews of me say I'm cheap and she's not interested.  So I'm pretty sure I was reported by bitter, overpriced escorts.

I've since watched the video they make you watch.  Sent a long message to seeking customer service about how im only looking to date.  That all of my messages on the site suggests it.  My profile says I'm not looking for anyone who is seeing anyone else.  And that i have had some escorts get mad at me for not paying them by the hour.  

Customer service replied saying not to worry about it.  Just make sure i report profiles that violate the terms of the site.  So I reported the first few that did to make me look good.

So, my thoughts are, they have AI to catch things.  Changing up a few letters gets around it.  They rely on reporting profiles to clean it up.  I imagine there are more bitter women then men so we wee getting reported more
Posted By: Dick.Everhard
Re: Big Problem Here
Posted By: netnoy
Re: Big Problem Here  
 I just reply that perhaps we should discuss this over text.  No problems there.
While I understand what you, BdrmFun48 and our resident Feline are advocating, that did not work for me in multiple instances. Now my experience is a few years ago, during some of the "purges", but what I encountered was that simply engaging with a woman who mentioned PPM or $$$, just to the extent of asking to move to text was enough to bring the ban hammer. Presumably because I/you are going to engage on that premise.  
   
 Is this no longer so?

bassrat51 5 Reviews 59 reads
posted
16 / 21
Just got banned after updating my profile

So I have been in active the past year or so because of some personal issues.  I had logged onto reactivate my account and see what the territory was looking like.  I had logged on a few times before deciding to update my profile.  I fixed a type-o and deleted a couple of lines of text that were outdated.  

Apparently, something did not pass muster and I got a message that they could not approved my profile and when I logged on it said my account was suspended. WTF!  

There was not indication of what was in my profile that was no bueno and how am I to fix it if you won't let me in.  Even the e-mail that said it was not approvable said to log in and fix it.

sweetman 93 Reviews 56 reads
posted
17 / 21
Re: Just got banned after updating my profile

Hey Bassrat, so sorry you're having this problem.  It sucks bigtime.  I've been down that road myself.  It's especially frustrating when there does not seem to be a clear path to getting reinstated.  You need to email [email protected] from the same email you use for logging in and ask them for guidance.  In my experience they've been more helpful and responsive than years ago when you'd simply get banned with zero recourse!  Good luck and keep us posted.

herbtcat 6 Reviews 66 reads
posted
18 / 21
WTF? That's F'd up

Another example of inconsistent behavior by Admin.  

 
When I returned from my 7-week SE Asia trip, I updated my profile by deleting the text I used while on travel and replacing it with the original text I have been using for years. It seemed to be accepted and received no warnings.  But I also left my profile hidden as I wasn't ready to start looking for new POT's.  Naturally I was shown the "Your profile is not viewable, click here to see why" message in the upper left corner of my screen, but I ignored it.  

 
A few weeks later I decided to unhide and start a new search. But the hidden profile warning was still there. When I clicked to see the reason, it called out unapproved text in my profile. I looked and saw that the "Seeking" block was still my text from my trip. And after re-rereading it, I realized I had a line which had always been in my profile but was now verboten with the newest rules:  "Bonus points if you are submissive" (BTW: that line worked really well in Indonesia!).  

 
Once I removed that and another, indirect reference to "taking control" my new text was approved.  

 
But I never got a warning message was not suspended (or worse).  

 
If you cannot get your profile cleared, maybe Sweetman can help guide you through the Admin's tangled webs?  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

netnoy 80 Reviews 62 reads
posted
19 / 21
2 new ones today

On seeking, straight up she said she expects 5k/month.

Another asked what compensation I provide on a first date.

Not sure if they got flagged but I did not reply to either.

Dick.Everhard 54 reads
posted
20 / 21
SA has double standards about double standards!

That is they are inconsistent in their double standards. Which some of you already mentioned.

When I was on SA I liked to vary my profile. To see what worked best, and also because I would get bored with a particular persona [I am flexible - all could be true!]. What annoyed me is how what was accepted varied depending on precisely which moderator read it. One would be absolutely fine with what I wrote, another would delete/suspend/ban me!

Some examples.
I wrote a very funny profile. Not just my own judgement, but I was told so by multiple SBs - one said it was the best she had come across. But at some point, some disgruntled SB (of a humorless one) reported it, and I was banned for life. Whatever moderator read it completely missed the humor. I appealed and got back on, but with what one might call a stern warning never to do it again. So much for humor.

Another example, that occurred more than once, is when I reverted to a previous profile wording - word for word - and what had been acceptable was now not. Same happened with online handles exact same handle was/was not acceptable depending on reviewer.

This randomness is one big reason not to bring yourself to any attention on SA. I slowly learned my lesson, and stopped varying my profile. How boring,

sweetman 93 Reviews 65 reads
posted
21 / 21
Varying your profile

In a perfect world I think varying your profile to see what different results you get would be an obviously excellent strategy.  Too bad that's not the world we live in.  I have thus refined my own profile, word by word, to hopefully give an accurate picture of what sort of guy I am, and what I'm looking for, while at the same time including a few filters to weed out the most unsuitable responses.  I still get plenty of unsuitable responses though! (anybody down to send $ to Caracas?)

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