You're welcome!
Being honest and upfront (maybe even before the M&G but after an initial round of contact) would make sense. That's how I have always operated and it has always resulted in a very positive response. Maybe the POTs realize that me being in a very happy & stable long-term relationship means I'm not going to be the type that is always texting, is needy, etc, etc...so it works for all those involved. As I noted above, your personal circumstances actually resonate and so how you're currently living your life is a plus. And I bet there are many gents out there that feel the same. Of course, location matters. Browsing other profiles is pretty easy. You can create a "male" profile to browse female profiles. My wife and I did that early on so she can could give me feedback on profiles that interested her and others that were a turn off (hint for the fellas: less is more; shirtless dudes are a pass). That helped me present myself in an honest, realistic and non-creepy way. Show that you take care of yourself, and include a full-body image. As for photos of you in certain settings, avoid over the top ostentation. When I see a young woman sitting in a private jet with her LV bags at her side and 6 Cartier bracelets on one arm and Rolex on another arm I immediately move on.I am a provider in my 40s who previously has naturally developed special relationships with a few of my clients.
These were gents I met as regular clients but we hit it off and spent off the clock time together which developed into a regular thing where I received smaller monetary gifts along with travel, activities and shopping. In all cases these were married gentlemen who of course knew that I was a pro and were accepting of same.
I quite enjoyed these relationships and have wonderful memories of these times spent together. I am interested in finding something like this again but currently I am not touring or seeing as many clients as I once was so I haven’t met anyone that I’ve clicked with.
I’ve read a bit about these sb arrangements but have noted most gents are seeking younger women and are avoiding pros. Is there an opportunity for me to find what I’m looking for in this market, or is it unrealistic? Love to hear your thoughts.
I think you'll find all sorts of opportunities in the bowl. Ironically, 30s/40s are my sweet spot and I tend to have good experiences with SBs who have "pro-like" inclinations. What I mean by that is I use the bowl as a place to have a fun both BCD and out in public...without the risk of a longer-term emotional commitment. So don't be dissuaded by thoughts that only young women do well.
I am in a very strong 30+ year marriage and my wife knows and approves of my activities. As a result I'm not looking for overly emotional commitments....and a lady with your profile would be appealing to me.
Give it a shot!!
I concur with fullyhedged. Sugar Relationships [SR's] can be whatever two people want them to be as long as each respects the other's boundaries. There really are no age limitations. I've had SR's with ladies in their 20's all the way to age 60, so there are women of all ages in the bowl. I've had my best experiences with SB's in their 30's-40's.
While being a provider at the same time you are in sugar relationships could be an issue with some SD's, being upfront and honest about it up front will weed those men who are not agreeable to this. For myself, I prefer an SB to be exclusive to me. The appeal of a non-pro is that she is more like a regular GF. Of course, I'd never really know for sure and some SD's advise it's simply best to assume they are seeing multiple partners, but I find it a turn off.
While I have nothing against pros, my own preference is to have an SR with someone who is non-pro.
I'm sure there are SD's out there who would be happy to embark on an adventure with you as long as you are upfront and give full disclosure you are also engaging in sex work while seeing him. This will of course limit your options as I suspect most men are looking for a non-pro, but I could be wrong here that is just conjecture.
I would say explore it and see where it takes you - it could turn out to be a wonderful experience!
Your age is not a barrier in the least. In fact, to many of us, your maturity should indicate stability and dependability. The biggest question is that for those of us who pursue sugar relationships is if you are not a clock watcher and are comfortable with a reasonable amount of communication between dates.
That is not to say you need to subject yourself to constant contact, but SDs typically value staying in touch. I view a sugar relationship as a hybrid, or a connection with being joined at the hip.
You've evidently done research and with that knowledge you should be well positioned. But you might be well advised to consult with other providers who have tried this crossover to see how it has worked out for them.
Like everyone else said, you need to be clear on what you want. And understand allowance is for both time and intimacy. It can be pure BCD or dinner dates and sex. It's not supposed to be like an escort experience.
So making the switch is not just getting to charge more. It really does come with the connection you mentioned. And some guys will want you to be more exclusive so I would be honest that you do provide for others.
Is to try. There is no downside to just doing it. You will have your answer one way or the other.
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I would not reveal your pro status -- unless the SD is wanting exclusivity.
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I would also suggest you set your sights on a lower hourly rate than your pro rate. I think pros balk at that, but the pro premium is due to the no hassle scheduling. Whereas an SB arrangement requires a lot more effort by the SD to vet the SB as a suitable match.
Some good comments here.
As you see there’s a wide spectrum of sugar relationships. You could simply use it as an extension of escorting with the benefit of screening for guys you like. Some are almost like regular gf-bf things. A lot in between but I’d say most want some emotional connection and not the anonymity of pros and time in and outside the bedroom.
If you are UTR I don’t think you need to disclose your past but don’t think in terms of hourly rates. It’s a relationship where you support each other’s mutual needs and goals.
It’s important (from my view) that you have another source of income and don’t do this out of desperation.. otherwise you’ll probably still be in the pro mindset. Good luck!
If you jump on to SA (Seeking Arrangement) and look at the women, you will see very young women to much older women. When you are a woman, there are always options open for you.
Be clear about what you want and cater to the right kind of audience. I am sure there are guys on SA just looking for sex and then some who are looking for more wholesome companionship with added benefit of sexual favors.
Personally, when I am on SA, I am looking for a classier woman who can handle good conversation and who is not offering simply transactional relationship. If I come across some street hooker type woman, I will put her in a different bucket and call her when I just need a quick fix.. lol.. So even me, the same person, can cater to two different type of women.
But mind you, the least attractive aspect of escorting that many, including me, totally dislike is the “clock watching” mindset
Even though the actual act may only last less than half hour in most cases (yes, some will disagree here lol), the pillow talk and general friendship related chit chat is what makes sugaring unique and more of a friends w benefits scenario rather than sex for money
I have converted a couple of escorts in the past to sugaring but one of them was always trying to get me to finish early and then would leave the bed to get dressed rightaway as if a cue for us to start heading out towards dinner. Needless to say, didn’t last long
It’s a back and forth to feel the other persons vibe, and while there is no commitment like vanilla relationships , you have to still act like vanilla friends during the time you are together say every week or so
And if you are hot and in shape, age is not a barrier by any means
Thank you so much all who took the time to respond. I truly appreciate your input.
Honestly I am not looking for this to be an extension of regular escorting dates, I too am seeking something more personal. This is where there is going to have to be a certain level of compatibility, I couldn’t see myself pretending to like a jerk over a long period of time - LOL! Having said that, I get along with people easily and I am certain there are some great gents out there whose company I would enjoy.
I wish I was able to browse the profiles of women on Seeking to get an idea, but I can’t see anyway that I could do that? I’m going to need photos - what are typically the types of photos that are popular and get attention?
I also feel like I would need to be honest about my situation, at least once meeting in person, as I’m not great at sustaining lies. I always end up letting something slip and that would just be so awkward.
Again, thank you so much for all the genuine and helpful responses.
Sign up on a second access a man. You only have to pay to communicate. You can see chick pics for free. That is an inducement for guys to get motivated to pay to communicate.
Photos: face, full body, sexy sells. Don't do 30 face shots from the same angle. No duck lips. Unless you insist, pull off the nose rings, etc. Try to look like a normal human being and not some freak. In my opinion avoid photos from expensive locations which makes you look high priced. No posing in front of bathroom mirrors. I can't believe how many chicks have toilets in the background. Good lord.
You're welcome!
Being honest and upfront (maybe even before the M&G but after an initial round of contact) would make sense. That's how I have always operated and it has always resulted in a very positive response. Maybe the POTs realize that me being in a very happy & stable long-term relationship means I'm not going to be the type that is always texting, is needy, etc, etc...so it works for all those involved. As I noted above, your personal circumstances actually resonate and so how you're currently living your life is a plus. And I bet there are many gents out there that feel the same. Of course, location matters.
Browsing other profiles is pretty easy. You can create a "male" profile to browse female profiles. My wife and I did that early on so she can could give me feedback on profiles that interested her and others that were a turn off (hint for the fellas: less is more; shirtless dudes are a pass). That helped me present myself in an honest, realistic and non-creepy way.
Show that you take care of yourself, and include a full-body image.
As for photos of you in certain settings, avoid over the top ostentation. When I see a young woman sitting in a private jet with her LV bags at her side and 6 Cartier bracelets on one arm and Rolex on another arm I immediately move on.
Photos, face and body shots. 1 in lingerie or a bikini definitely helps. Nothing photo shopped or on exotic vacations. Looks like a scam. And be direct that you are not looking to be monogamous unless you plan on changing jobs.
Also keep in mind, some guys. Most. Will want to not use condoms after a few dates. Be prepared for that
One of the biggest differences you are going to have to deal with, between escorting and sugar dating, is vetting your potential dates. Here on TER you can view my White List referrals and I can read your reviews. None of that is possible in the sugar bowl, we, both have to do all our own vetting. A lot has been written here on that subject, which I won't repeat, but the vetting issue is one of the big reasons most sugar daters like to have an initial meet and greet in a public place like a restaurant.
Exclusivity is an issue for many SDs. While it's unexpected and basically unheard of with pro escorts, many SDs really want it. Personally, I'm the opposite! I don't want a SB to be relying on me for 100% of her needs. I'm much happier knowing she has other resources besides me.
Honesty matters a lot to me. I've dated several SBs who swore I was the only one they were dating. Which I knew to be a baldfaced lie since a buddy of mine was dating them at the same time and getting the same line from them! I much prefer honesty, she knows I'm seeing others, I know the same about her, and we sometimes have fun telling each other our stories about adventures in the Sugar Bowl! Stories with no names attached obviously.
You asked about what kind of photos to post. One or two head shots plus one or two full body shots. Doesn't have to be a bikini, but at least form fitting workout clothes that truly show your figure. No baggy clothing that hides your figure. No other people in your photos, please!
And lastly, you said you wished you could view the women's profiles. You can only view the guys, we guys can only view the gals. This is a long standing "feature" on seeking that many of us have complained about before. I know that some users have worked around this by creating and maintaining a fake profile, as their opposite gender. Since women can join for free, it's not that hard for a guy to create a profile posing as a fem, using pics taken off the web somewhere. For a woman wanting to create a fake SD profile, it might be more difficult. Or expensive. Idk if a "guy" can create a profile and use it to view the fem's profiles without paying membership fees.
Hope this helps! Please let us know how it goes for you! It's nice to have a woman on here who knows the scene and is seeking information!
If you are near LA shoot me a pm. I'm interested in a meet and greet