Signed up on seeking.com for that diamond membership. Getting a lot of random girl messages from far off but not much from
my preferred area. Any tips for newbies like me to get a SB? Thx in advance.

You can search through here for our advise but never hurts to rehash.  Here are my thoughts.

1. Diamond does not seem to be worth it.  Only one person on here has used it and said it was worth the price jump from regular membership.  So, don't be afraid to drop to regular.
2. Know what you want.  Do you want dates on the town with a hot girl?  Going out drinking?  Lots of sex?  Be clear.  
3. Know what your budget is.  Understand your allowance give and what you want in return.  Average is 300-600 per date.  That covers dinner and a round or two of sex.  If she wants a lot more she is probably GPS.
4. You have control.  She does not have the power.  Use it to your advantage.
5. Negotiation, off the site, of everything that is expected.  Time together, allowance, and what sex.  Condoms, tests, etc.  
6. Be clear your relationship situation.  Are you married?  Dating?  Single but not looking for a girlfriend?  Or are you looking for something that may become serious?
7. Do not be afraid to walk away.  Tons of other girls.
8. Frequency?  Weekly dates, monthly, whenever you are both free?  Is she spending the night?  Trips together?  
9. Get the conversation off the site as soon as possible.  Filters are tough on seeking for potential allowance or sex conversation.  Don't allow it.
10. Opt for a meet in person in public first.  If she wants something completely discrete, do a video chat for sure first.  Met plenty of girls who were catfishing or just using super old pics and are now fat and ugly.
11. Do you expect her to be single?  Do you expect her to not have other SDs?  Be clear on this one.  I prefer single women.  No drama.  I had a girl's fiance show up on a date.  That was really awkward.  If she is married, has a boyfriend be ready for a problem.  If she says he knows, she's either being whored out or he does not know.
12. Be clear on communication.  How often are you two texting and talking?  If you are married, make sure times are around where your wife will be there.  

Herb probably has a lot more advise.

This is a different world from the escort scene and you'll find lots of info here and on reddit forums.

I would add a few things:

-Rule 1: Don't send any money before meeting someone. For rule 2, refer back to rule 1, You will get requests for gas money, nails/hair, a 'good faith' gesture and more. Just don't do it. You may bring a small gift to what should be a platonic unpaid M&G that is a vibe check. Lots of scams in this space. Look up 'pig butchering.'
-Some on both sides treat this an alternate escort world, and that's fine. The gal gets to decide who she fucks and on what terms. Others want more of a relationship, so you have to decide what camp you're in.
- As netnoy says, a lot depends on you. Do you want a regular gf? Occasional roll?  A rotation? Are you married and sneaking around or OK to be seen in public? Do you want a travel partner?

This is a more complicated world than escorts, since you're dealing with a lot of non-professionals (and yes a few full-time SBs) who have feelings as well as financial needs. More like dating than mongering. It can be extremely rewarding when everything works out but it takes a lot of time and effort, in addition to money.

-- Modified on 6/3/2026 9:47:39 AM

Please take some time researching past threads here BEFORE you commit to spending (and possibly losing) hundreds of dollars or more on a bad date or a scammer.  

 
I suggest you search for the following keywords, one at a time:  
1. Negotiation
2. Red flags
3. Messaging (as in what you can say or not say in the Seeking app)
4. Monthly, or P4P, or PPM (allowance format)
5. OpSec (if you are married, or just want to stay on the DL)  
6. Scam or GPS
7. M&G or Meet and Greet
8. Testing (as in STD tests and going bare, BBFS versus using condoms)
9. Bridges (as in never burn bridges)
10. Allowance (as in how much allowance per date)
11. Profile text (as in how to write your profile and what pics to use)

This may take an hour or two, or even more. But I assure you it can save you thousands of dollars lost to scammers or on bad (i.e.: you didn't get laid) dates.

 
And I'll reinforce the number 1 CARDINL RULE:  
Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance. Never send money in advance.  

 
Not even $20.  It's probably ok to offer to cover small expenses at the initial Meet & Greet like parking, or $20-$40 for gas if she made a long drive. But absolute max = $50.  Even then, only pay the reimbursement at the end of meet.  Optimal M&G spend should be no more than the cost of 2 drinks (coffee, tea, or cocktails).  

 
Finally, a few thoughts on Sugar Dating mindset:  
This is absolutely DATING, not hiring hookers.  Treat every POT (Potential SB) like a potential civilian date, with the knowledge that there is a certain structure that is understood in that context. There may eve been pro or semi-pro hookers on the site. Treat them like women you want to date as well, unless they act like hookers. Look, even a hooker likes to have dates from time to time. Treat their profession like any other job a women may have. (Note: This assumes you can deal with dating a hooker. If you can't, thank her for her time and move on.)  

 
Please read up, contact a few POT's and see what happens. Then come back here and let us know how you are doing. We can give you targeted feedback as needed.    

 
Life is good - IF you never send money in advance

 
The Cat

I loved this response. Thx for sharing this. Loved the part where we show we have the control and can walk off any time. GPS is the real deal.

I am mainly looking to fuck early 20 year olds. That’s it. I am married and don’t want a relationship. Is there a room for my viewpoint? 😀

Thx Herb. Great tips 😀

You are looking in the right place.  College age women, whether in college or not, are the target demographic of women looking to make some extra cash and are willing, sometimes even excited, to fuck older guys to get it.

 
As long as you take time to learn the do's and don'ts, and ensure you always think with the right head, you can eventually find what you want, over and over again.  

 
It's not unreasonable to think that by this time next year you will have dated (aka fucked) one or even several 20-ish babes several times.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Herb - you the man! Have been going through this board and seeing gems and gems of your posts. Hope to make you proud! 😀

I just want to jump in and say that the younger age group has def been my favorite part of the Sugar Bowl to swim in.  College age girls are the best!  I've even dated a few teens.  One of the sweetest, hottest girls I've met this way was just 19 when we first met.  That was 8 years ago, and I'm seeing her again next week!  My point is, that in the 8 years since we met, she's grown up a lot, and has a deeper appreciation for an older man who is reliable, tells her how wonderful she is, and eats her pussy till she cums!  She's an old lady of 27 now, but I can deal with it, lol!