Dear fishsurf,
For a complete answer, please read my doctoral dissertation, based on quantitative research with over 100 TER members, coming to a journal near you right about at the end of 2009.
Until then, my answer remains pretty much a blanket one: There isn't one specific factor. For some, it's physical, in that the hobbyist does not have access to the type or frequency of sex desired; for others, it's emotion-driven, as the hobbyist does not have the desired partner in whom he can invest his emotions as they relate to attraction/feelings for the opposite sex, irrespective of the existence of a girlfriend/wife/S.O. People have a zillion reasons for hobbying...emotional AND/OR physical.
I am rather certain that those who frequent this board regularly [yep, that would include yours truly, on a daily basis] have noted the following themes in no particular order:
-Sexual performance techniques
-Emotional attachment to providers
-Physiological concerns such as PE (premature ejaculation) or RE (retarded ejaculation)
-Concerns w/ STDs
-Aging
-Virginity issues
-Understanding provider behavior
-Understanding hobbyist behavior
-Sex "addiction"
-Use of medications
Since this is a psychosexual board and NOT an opinion/comment-soliciting one, I actively discourage discussions about reviews, ratings, specific providers, politics, religion, provider references, etc. So in a way, this board is a very unique and specific one. I know of no other board on a provider review site where there is a licensed therapist answering human sexuality questions asked by both hobbyists and providers.
A difference in the newbie vs veteran? It depends on the issue. Some people change their sexual repertoire the more experience they acquire; others find their zone of comfort, whatever it may be, and stay there. It truly depends on the individual, no general trends observed.
Your last question: Why does anyone do anything that others only talk about? Using myself as an example - I just did the Baltoro trek in Pakistan, labeled as the toughest trek in the world. Now, I've been talking about it for the past 20 years or so, and I finally did it. I could have continued dreaming, but I put one foot in front of the other and started walking. Most of my friends thought I was nuts; others expressed a wish to do the same, but for various reasons did not go through with the act. Same with hobbying; for some, it's a fantasy, for others, it becomes a reality. From the point of "distress," I suppose really, really wanting sex and not getting any could make someone a hobbyist. After all, it's easier to pay for sex than to go out and rape someone out of pure desperation [extreme example, of course.]
A large-scale research project will be undertaken by me at the end of 2008, which will culminate in a dissertation and possible publication. The anonymous responses of TER members will feature prominently; I expect these questions will be answered with some statistical precision.
Until then....it's all hunches,
the Love Goddess
