Hi LG,

This is my first post here although I'm an avid reader. Wanted to get your thoughts on what to try (if anything) with my challenge of spilling cups too soon.

I've always been a "quick draw mcgraw" (not sure who remembers the beloved caetoon character) in my sexual experience. Maybe from too much self leasuring, too much porno, or just the anticipation. Sometimes I can't even get the cover on.....or have entry and I spill everywhere . Well, I do go 2 or 3 times usually and I last much longer those times but the first cu is so so so quick. BTW, I do like to return the favor while recovering .

Any advice? Any meds or therapies out there? How do providers view this.

Your insights are anticipated!!!

Dear Quick Draw McGraw,
We have had so many threads on the topic of PE (premature ejaculation) that I have lost count by now.

You can either do a search on this board by going back, say 600 days and type in the words premature ejaculation (without quotation marks) and watch the search engine go.

Other things you can do: Seamans' squeeze technique, the stop-start method with another person, or....just realize that you are a very fortunate individual who still can come 2-3 times AFTER the first time...and be very happy with that.

As to my insights: Thanks to Masters and Johnson and other assorted earnest sex researchers/educators during the 1960s-70s, there has been so much emphasis out there on what is and isn't "normal," that almost all men begin to wonder if there is anything they can do better or different just to get that ultimate benefit out of their sexual encounter. Meanwhile, I wish more people focused on the journey, not the destination. Anecdotal perusing of this board often indicates that guys who are a little more "mature," i.e. in their 50s and 60s, put less emphasis on the when's and the where's of "cumming," and more on the holistic experience.

Meds, you say? For what? Ejaculating 2-3 times? Surely you jest! Many guys would love to trade with you. They either come once only after a few seconds, or they don't ejaculate at all. But of course, there are some nutty docs who like to put guys on antidepressants...and then they may not cum for hours...not a very appealing prospect!

Generally, porno before an encounter is a no-no. Then again, I guess you could give yourself a quickie right before the next round, which you say lasts much longer. Or, you could just inform the provider of your blasting tendencies, get it over with quickly and then savor the subsequent rounds. What's wrong with that, actually?

My final on this one is that the squeeze technique may work for you. Take your penis between your thumb and index finger and press just below the head BEFORE the point of inevitability. On the other hand, I have no idea what that's going to do to time number 2 or number 3. Probably nothing, but you never know.

In my book, you don't really qualify for PE, since you come again and again. So maybe you should just count your blessings like you count your cummings?

Just a thought,
the Love Goddess

OK, I'm not kidding around here at all when I ask this Quick Draw.  Honestly I can remember back many years ago when I had your "problem" of cumming too fast and being able to do it two or three times.  I'd give anything to have that problem now rather than taking forty minutes to ejaculate and being totally spent for hours after wards.

Unless the ladies that you are seeing have a problem with this I would advise you to be careful what you wish for...

I have had that exact problem many times myself. I actually stumbled onto a remedy one day by accident.  I was prescribed the mild painkiller tramadol (or known as Ultram) to treat a strained rotator cuff. It never really did much in the way of pain relief, but it is fabulous for delaying ejaculation.  I too, would cum with just a whisper in my ear, or a simple kiss.  Very frustrating as well as messy and inconvenient. Just because one has the physical ability to cum again (I do too) doesnt mean it is as pleasurable as one would like. At least that was my experience.  I know I am advocating an off-label use of a prescription medication, so take this for what it is, which is just my experience. Anyway, the tramadol completely changed sex for me. Now instead of blowing in my pants before I can even get them off, I can immerse myself in the journey towards orgasm which encompasses both me and my parter. I truly believe that this drug has the very real potential of becoming a medically embraced treatment for PE.

In addition, there are risks of seizures in patients who administer tramadol concomitant to SSRIs, tricyclics and other antidepressants. It may work for you, but I would DISSUADE EVERY PERSON READING THIS THREAD:STAY AWAY. PLEASE SEE LINK AND WARNINGS!

Even if tramadol has been used experimentally to treat PE by serious researchers, no one should administer this drug without explicit recommendation from a physician.

Do not play around with this on your own,
the Love Goddess










-- Modified on 10/3/2008 11:42:04 PM

Who cares if you pop quick if you can go again right away? That is just like a guaranteed free orgasm up front. There is only a problem if you pop after 30 sec then you are spent and the chick gets left hanging, but that doesn't happen with you.

I could finish a lot quicker if I really put my mind to it, the problem is, unlike you, there are no guarantees I'd be eager to go again. If I knew for sure that I'd be up for 3-5 shots, you bet I would let it fly at every opportunity.

3 cups in an hour is great even if you think the first one is PE.

Only see providers or girlfriends who like multiple cups.

U are absolutely correct on all points.  I was simply sharing my experience, that was all. I was just meaning to show that there is help on the horizon, not encouraging anyone to experiment. Sorry if it was inappropriate to do so.

Dear Love Goddess:
I was also thinking about the person being able to do kegels as a way of working on his control. That would be critical to him being able to last longer with respect to arousal to resolution.

as someone that has had that "problem" most of my life, i will say count your blessings.  here's why.  not that long ago, i too had that quick release the first time with quick recovery and the ability to go as many times as i wanted, three, four, five, whatever, as long as they were willing, i was good to go.  recovery time was that of an eighteen year old as late as my mid 30s.  like you, with each successive cum, the length of time and control was better.  then i started showing signs of diabetes.  i was diagnosed at the age of 38 and put on meds.  eight years later and i'm lucky if i can get hard enough to penetrate.  i've tried all three of the popular meds and some of those that are sold over the counter(i.e. yohimbe) with diminishing returns across the board.  to say that this is frustrating is an understatment.  now. i have always had other skills and have little problem bringing a woman to an enjoyable place, and i can cum when i get head, but i like the feeling of penetration and so i am less and less inclined to pursue the experience (read, engaging in sex) thankfully there are a few girls where i live that enjoy the things i do and provide the opportunity for me to relax and enjoy as well, just not the  way i really desire (but as one of them tells me, at least i can cum).  

the point of this post is to say, dude, rock on with your quick hitting self and enjoy what experiences you're having.

Of all the potential sexual hangups, this is the one that has -- I won't say "haunted" me but has -- been on my mind. Some truths from my experience:
After my first somewhat unsympathetic girlfriend, no gf has said it's an issue. They are into YOU.
I can't tell you how many times I've been in conversations with a bunch of bettys and they say "God FORBID men last longer. We get sore."
Here's how I've coped:
kegels - muscle tone - all muscles - are key.
alcohol - I once had a girl who was just SO hot that I popped in the first ten seconds. Some tequila helped me break that pattern and after that, my brain somehow learned to wait, even without the tequila.
cialis - wonder drug, does tend to delay ejaculation.
getting older - I am a better lover than I was in my 20s by a long shot (no pun intended)
One side note: I think that sometimes, if you're in a "wrong" situation, your higher self or maybe your animal self will just "end it" the most efficient way. Discomfort on any level= tension = early finish.