Do you think a provider can see a client outside her business relationship with him?  I've heard of situations where it's worked and situations where it's a disaster.  Generally speaking, what's your point of view?



-- Modified on 5/9/2009 3:06:34 PM

I'll just say that my former ATF and I have managed to sustain a relationship for 2+ years outside the business relationship. It's not been easy at all but so far it's been worth all the work. If you choose to engage in such a relationship be ready to be challenged and do some difficult internal work.

But you said your FORMER ATF... meaning you are no longer her client, but she is still a provider or...?

Dear oalexander,

I would need to know what "see a client" really means. Let's say that the provider and client do "see" each other outside of the contracted period where sexual engagement is expected to occur, but that they are NOT engaging sexually. Instead, they are shopping, dining, going to the movies, or spelunking out in nature. Once the movie, shopping trip or nature trip is over, the provider and client say bye-bye until next time. The only times they are having sexual relations is when the hobbyist pays the provider. Now, what do I think of it?

Well, if they like their arrangement and can stick to it, then I suppose it's their business. However, I believe that the majority of providers and hobbyists would become dissatisfied with such an arrangement, mainly because it departs from the business of exchanging time and companionship for money. Sooner or later, the boundaries between what's being charged for and what isn't will become blurred, and either party will begin feeling taken advantage of. And that's when the fun stops and the problem begins. Hence, in order to avoid potential problems, I believe that providers should charge for their time and clients should pay for it. Simple as that. Otherwise they should just be boyfriend and girlfriend and forget about the money altogether. Simple as that.

Prostitution 101,
The Love Goddess

Thank you, Love Goddess.  I agree with you and will take this to heart.

She is retired now.

again, hallelujah .... i got clients want to have dinner after the 'date'.  to which i respond, 'so u wanna spend more time with me, but dont want to pay me for my time.  uhhhhhhh btw, isnt my time what i sell?  '  lol

Wow! I'm glad to see this thread here.  I'm a newbie, been a hobbiest for about a year.  Got into it out of curiousity and lack of satisfaction at home.  

Tried a few 200/hr class girls (no GFE) from CL.  Definitely not what I was looking for although one I kinda liked.  Learned about TER, joined and started looking for the "best" in my area.  First one - got a agency gal (had earlier decided against any agency girl).  Realized she was agency when the 59 minute call came.  Told her I wouldn't see her again.  She got my email/said she was leaving to go indie.  I became her "advisor" - saw her again gave her extras to get on her feet - remember I'm a rookie.  We spent a lot of time on the phone/texting etc.  I became her "big brother/advisor" and I don't know sh-t about this.  We drifted apart for a while.  I continued my pursuit for the best in my area (FL).  Found "Her" and set up a 2 hr date.  After an hour of or so of the best sex I could have imagined under this condition we laid there and talked for over an hour.  I left, sent her a text lauding her for the great time.  She responded likewise, but added "I felt a chemistry" between us.  I responded "me too".  What followed was a two week series of passionate and very personal emails, texts and phone calls.  We had to see each other away from the "business".  We did and we were like teenage lovers for an evening (off the clock).  It became a very emotional time for both of us.  The relationship continued, but quite stressful in a way, but very satisfying in others.  Where did the provider/hobbiest relationship end and the personal one start knowing we'd never be life partners?  Believe me it was difficult!!!  Both knowing a LT relationship was out of the question, but wanting each other so much.  We ended up "purposely driving each other away" then reversing it, back and forth a couple times.  Talk about emotions - it was tough, esp. with me having a SO very long term and she being very "Busy".  Saw each other "on the clock" again, but it just wasn't right.  Didn't know what to say to each other after that.  Decided to take a break from each other to clear our minds.  

Back comes the "newbie" wants to see me, but keeps cancelling appts.  Sends emails writing of how close we are, but we never connect personaly.  She starts calling me at inappropriate times, ending our relationship.  I go back and see a girl from early on (200/hr) type.  We connect immediately, have lunch, just hang together, but also have sex on the clock.  We become best of friends, but I always donate when we do it, without a word mentioned.  Nice relationship.

All three of these relationships are now active to an extent.  I never thought I'd get into something like this.  There is much more to it, but this is a long enough entry to the thread.  I'd like to hear others opinions.  BTW I know the actions of the girls were not to promote further business with me - I didn't fall off the turnip truck last night.  Can you imagine the only three women that I had seen more than once as a hobbiest and we all ended up with emotional relationships.  This can't be the norm in the provider/hobbiest world.  I got into this to have stress-free fun!!!  

Comments/opinions?

Very nice, RookieHobbyist1,

Until we have word from all the ladies, this is just from your viewpoint. Word from the wise though: don't get too caught up in your own emotions, or you may end up getting burned.

Have fun playing,
The Love Goddess

Thanks for your comments, LG.

I'm sure I have my emotions under control about this.  With respect for the girls, I can't relate why I know these feelings between us are/were real.  I have no fear of getting burned - "It takes two to Tango" as they say.

I was just throwing this out to see if other hobbyists and providers had similar experiences.  I expected to get responses like yours and am not offended.

Thx,
RH1