I have been seeing a 26YO SB for close to 6 months, 2-3 times a month at a PPM per her request. Normally lunch at a very nice restaurant, and BCD for 4-5 hours. I felt we were getting to build a connection and trust level. We know each other’s real names.

 
At the beginning of the month  after a meeting we had her CC was declined for Uber on her way home, since we live in opposite directions, I read her my CC to get the ride and she said she would delete it immediately after. 2 days later I get alerts my card is being used for Uber again, I reach out to her and she said she forgot to delete. She swapped payment with another card and my account was credited.  

Last week her phone was overdue and she had a lot of bills hit the same time,  she asks if I can I help her?  I sent her info for a $500 Visa Card and told her to pay to get it current. She said I can deduct it from our next meeting, I told her not to worry about it. She never used the card to pay Verizon. Instead, she used it for Uber Eats and Amazon

We had a meeting this past week, her cc was declined at the hotel(as I have her book and reimburse her) check in. I give her my card, she goes up to the room and I meet her.

I ask her for the card back, when upstairs and I put it in my wallet. I take a shower, and leave my clothes in the bathroom as I did the past 10-15 times we met.

I get dressed, and realized my wallet is in my left back pocket, not my right as usual. Maybe through all the excitement, I put it in the wrong pocket when I put the cc back in?

Fast forward to weekend. My phone has sent me alerts that my card may have been compromised, there were charges on there for UBER EATS and VERIZON. I never use either. I did not recognize the charges so the bank shut the card down. My heart fell into my stomach, how can she do this to me? What else is next? I checked all the accounts that I had credit cards in my wallet and there is no activity. I think since she had the card in her hand, it would have been the easiest to snap a pic of.

I sent her an email that we need to talk, and I am waiting for her to respond. She had to take a pic of my CC at the hotel to put the charges through. What else did she take pics of? How do I approach her as this looks like it is the end of the arrangement.

Now I am concerned, is this the beginning of a blackmail/extortion plan? Did she take pics of my DL? I am so devastated by this intentional breach of trust, my stomach is in knots over this.

First - Get replacements now for every card that was in your wallet just in case she does the worst. If she took a pic of one, she may have pics of all of them. And she has, sadly, shown that she can't use credit (especially your credit) responsibly.  So NEVER do that again!  If you are willing to file a police report that names her as the suspect, you can do more if you are really worried. You may need to look at buying title lock protection for your owned property and you may need to put a warning lock on your credit bureau as well.  These will help protect you if she goes full "identity thief" on you.  

 
Second - Time to take an objective look at your current arrangement. No matter how great the sex is, she is stealing from you.  Shouldn't that be a deal-breaker?   I'm guessing your actual lost cash is not going to be seriously missed by you. But how much will she take next time? I also infer from your post that you do not want your arrangement to be public knowledge. There is always a risk of that happening. Even if she doesn't want to do that and her actions have been the result of bad decisions and taking advantage of you, rather than outright malice, she may inadvertently out you from these type of actions going forward.    

 
All arrangements end. All.  Be careful about getting too focused on fixing this one after you have invested so much time and money.  You may end up flying this plane right into the side of a mountain. The effort to save a current arrangement may end up being much greater (and more expensive) than getting a new one.  

 
Third - Change your money management.  Giving a card to your SB is a guarantee that it will be used - often and without limit.  It's just like handing her cash - only worse. Get a card that only you know about - from a different bank and use a different address like your office or a PO box - and use that for sugar spending.  Others here with S/O's can give you more advice on this; I'm not married, no S/O and retired, so not at risk of exposure. Then, if she needs Uber rides, get the app on your phone and send her an Uber - the app allows you to designate an alternate rider - and she won't see your card info.  Same for hotels - either use your new card yourself or have her use her card and pay her back as before. If you get back to a trusted place or have a new SB, you might cure her declined card by giving her cash to make a card payment, or even get HER card account information and call her bank to make a payment from your (new) checking account.  

 
Finally - Lesson learned - maybe.  There's a reason SB's want money. And money is almost always a higher priority to an SB than the other perks like travel, presents, mentoring and sex. If you want to test this concept, tell your SB you still want to see her and fuck like bunny rabbits, but you won't be providing allowance anymore.  Do you think she'll agree to that? So trust her to show up, be fun, give great sex, generally cause no serious drama, and look good and sexy. But just assume that every dollar (or ability to spend a dollar) you give her will be used and forgotten.  So only give her what you are willing to lose forever.  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

You could confront her on this, make a big scene, etc.
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Or you could come up with some excuse like your wife or girlfriend is suspicious and you have to stop seeing her.
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The first method likely causes revenge motive.  The second doesn't.
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The financial damage is done. Take the loss.  But try to avoid damage to the rest of your life.

Herb and Lester's advice is spot on.  There's no good reason to put a credit card of yours into your SBs hands.  Like Herb, I'm not concerned about being outed or blackmailed, so I have no problem with them knowing my real identity, as a matter of  fact, I often suggest exchanging IDs to demonstrate I'm a real, safe person.  One more item you might consider is hiding you wallet.  When I'm dating someone I don't already know and trust, I sometimes put our previously agreed on ppm amount in my pants pocket, but hide my wallet somewhere she's not liable to find it without a thorough search of the place. Not every time, but when my spidey senses begin to tingle, I will hide the wallet.  I have no way of knowing if this practice has ever helped me dodge a bullet, but it also works as a polar bear deterrent and in that regard it's been 100% effective.

Totally agree. She knows she did me wrong as she has not returned any text, calls or emails. Lesson learned, this definitely was an eye opener for sure. I appreciate the input.

Good advice, will use it going forward no matter how long I know or trust them. Fuck me once, shame on you, fuck me twice shame on me. I appreciate your advice.

Sorry to hear this happened to you. After so many months of seeing her it's easy to start to trust some of these girls. They sort of break down the walls over a period of time and we've all lost perspective and started to think "this girl really isn't a thieving sex worker" At the end of the day, most (i'm sure there are some who aren't but very, very few) are thieves. Let us know how it turns out brother, good luck.

Since I’m coming late to the discussion, I’m most baffled why you handed a SB of six months your credit card on not one but several occasions. Was it a building trust exercise to move into the GF phase? (saying that having  married a pro)

Let’s say one considers her a vendor who supplies you a service. She’s at the opposite end of a reputable brick and mortar store…She’s more like the guy who mows your lawn (where “lawn” is your cock lol)… You don’t where she lives, who else’s lawn she mows and what her “crew”’ is like…

Not the case here but even if an SB becomes a GF/SO it’s not easy to develop financial trust…

Hindsight is 20/20 but it’s sort of like the guys in that  movie where they get Roofied by Jennifer Lopez and her merry band of strippers

Points taken, I guess thinking of “mowing her lawn” got the best of me that day. Lesson learned and will rethink what I thought the norm was going forward as I move towards with another SB.

Sounds more like your SB succumbed to her own temptation of the financial kind more than anything. Logically if she was out and out going to scam you, 6 months is a really long time investment for her to pull the trigger. That said, the guys are right about taking all the usual steps one would take for identity theft just in case. I mean at the end of the day, we are just buying more of the E in GFE and $ is still the motivating factor for the ladies.

This occurred to me after thinking thru what happened to you. Why even carry any physical identification or CC on us at these meetings at all? We can pay for pretty much everything with a CC loaded into the phone these days. I keep a pic of my DL, passport, insurance on my phone also if I am ever asked for them and have never had an issue just showing the pic in place of the physical document. Have whatever cash you need on us ahead of time plus phone w/ face ID and/or password lock and we are good to go!

These kinds of stories are so infuriating to me.  Yeah, people suck but there's no reason to bite the hand that feeds you. Unless the hand asks for it