Sometimes a P4P relationship turns sour, and a guy just has to Take the Loss & learn from it.  We all  "Take the L"  sometimes.  My former SB is a stunning bi-racial girl.  In the antebellum South, she would've been referred to as a 'quadroon' (3/4 white, 1/4 black).  Back then, they used to have 'Quadroon Balls' for wealthy white men,  who'd take young quadroons as mistresses.  

  I see her profile on my sugar site & assume she can't possibly look as hot as her pix.   We meet for dinner & she knocks my head off--she's the girl in the photos. She's 21 and breathtakingly beautiful--she's from a poor family and was raised in a rural backwater.  I make my standard arrangement pitch, $400 a week, once a week.   A few days later, I gasp when my text-tone goes off & it's her.  

SB:  I think I'll take you up on your offer.  

 We go BCD & she's fantastic in every way--a girl so beautiful that it seems unreal.  She eventually invites me to her apt for hookups, which saves me the cost of the hotel.  A perfect situation.  And perfect situations usually don't last too long.   After a few months of bliss, the karma wheel turns.  The sex is still smoking hot.  But after fucking, she's cool & distant.    My guess is she's picked up a BF or another SD.   I soon get tired of her post-sex cold shoulder.  I stop texting her & wait for her to contact me for hookups.  She still hits me up every week, sample text below:

SB:  hey are you coming over tomorrow

Z:  Babe, I know you need the 400. But wouldn't you rather do this with someone you enjoy spending time with.  

SB:   I like spending time with you.  

 In fairness to her, the sex is still terrific.  Yet her post-sex cold shoulder continues.  I ruthlessly break off the arrangement right before Christmas.  I'm tired of it.  Merry Christmas & goodbye.   I stay off the sugar site for a while.  It's a nice sanity check, getting away from P4P during the holidays, spending time with family & friends.    

She texts me in early Feb & wants to get back together.   I hit her Facebook page--she's picked up a BF her own age.   That explains a lot.  Text exchange below:  

SB:  You should come over & see my new apt.  

Z:  If  you're living with your bf, then we can't meet there.  I don't want to get shot.  

SB:  I don't have a bf.  

Z:  He's on your Facebook page.  

SB:  WOW that's creepy.  I'm sure seeking arrangements wouldn't approve of spying on a girl's Facebook page.

Z:  You contacted me.  What's creepy is not being honest.  I told you I was married on Date #1.  

SB:  I know…i just don't like talking about my personal life.  

 Two days later, she texts me again.  

SB:  Hey z, how are you.  

Z:   I'm ok.  Babe, just tell me that you have a BF & you still want to see me.  

SB:  I have a BF and I still want to see you.  

 Note: I'm not into power games, but there's something compelling & erotic in her last text.  She finally admits that she has a BF while spreading her legs for me.  But as you'll see, things haven't changed at all.  We hookup in my hotel room.  Hot, hot makeup sex.  But after sex, I stroke her hair & she pulls away.  

SB:  We can meet for sex, but that's it. You know why.  

 My blood runs cold. She's an amazing actress, better than any hooker I've met.  I get out of bed immediately.   I can't get dressed fast enough--I don't want to be naked in front of this vampire.  She's still in bed, watching me.  

SB: You don't have to get mad about it.  

 I don't say anything.  I put her allowance on the dresser.  I then sit on the edge of the bed and look in the other direction while she gets dressed.

SB: I wish you'd say something.  

I'm not saying anything.  I won't give her the satisfaction of an angry remark.  I won't even look at her.   Time slows to a crawl.  I finally hear her leave (thank god).   I wait ten minutes, then clear out.  A week later, she texts me.  

SB:  hey.  

I ignore her text.   A few days later, she texts again.  A sharp exchange below, where everything is laid bare.  

SB:  Why don't you want to see me anymore?  

Z:  I'm tired of your cold shoulder, just so you can play 'faithful girlfriend'.  It's ridiculous. Text me when you're tired of him.  

SB:  Don't you want to hookup & have some fun?

Z:  It's not fun anymore.  Someone else can have your cold shoulder.  I don't need it.  

SB:  This is about sex.  

Z:  Sounds like you & bf need more cuddle time.  You can do sex + cold shoulder with someone else now.  

SB: lmao, bye.

Note here: she goes into full call girl mode with her comment "This is about sex".   She could make a fortune on P411--she wouldn't have to cold text me or anyone else.  I honestly don't know why she bothered chasing me down after Christmas.  She could get that money from almost anyone on my sugar site.   In P4P, everyone get embarrassed & rejected at some point.  I can't compete with her 20 something BF.  So I 'Take the L' & drop her.  That's the only play here, dudes. That's a lot better than playing Doormat/ATM.   --

in that most guys fear when the gal gets too emotionally involved and that makes them uncomfortable.  They would prefer to have hot sex and then ta ta for now.  You seem to want the emotional side.

And we guys complain that women never make any sense

 Not sure I wanted "the emotional side" (whatever that means) with this SB.  I just don't like the cold shoulder immediately after sex.  Even a GFE provider does better than that.   As I've stated many times before: I don't care if my SB has a BF, as long as she can put him aside when she's with me.  This SB was unable to do that.  --z

have never entered into a SB arrangement, so I could be missing the point. While at the end of the day (as your scenario indicated) both a SB arrangement and an escort appointment seem to be about the same thing (Cash for sex), do men have different expectations when with a SB? Do you expect more intimacy?  

You were paying her $400 a week for once a week sex. I can do the same thing with a provider whose company I enjoy.  I guess in a SB scenario there is no clock watching (or not as stringent), but other than that, what is the real difference?  The SB could be seeing other sugar daddies (as escorts see other clients).  

I don't walk out of session with a provider feeling any emotional attachment. And at least with an escort, if I touch her hair or rub or thigh after sex, she smiles at me and placates me for the appointment. She's not pulling away because she has a boyfriend at home

 Since an SD sees his SB on a regular basis,  your expectations are different versus booking some random provider.  My current SB spent the night with me recently on the same allowance (my SO is out of the country).  Think about your ATF:  you see her a lot, maybe you get OTC time.  Your expectations are *probably* different when you're with Miss ATF than they are with some random provider.   There's really no mystery here.  

  The only reason I put up with her as long as I did: this SB was amazingly beautiful.  There's no one like her on my P411 list. There's only a few girls like her on my sugar site.  --

and genuine warmth of a Sugar arrangement when it's going well.  Sometimes I get that with an escort too, but that's rare.  But I really relate to your story because quite recently my very favorite SB cut me off entirely. She stopped responding to texts, pms, emails, voice mails, etc.  I know she struggles with bipolar disorder and sometimes needs to disappear for a while.  But after a year of intimacy both emotional and physical it really hurts not to have any explanation whatsoever.  She had been very upfront with me about having a young BF for a while and maybe she's decided to stick with him.  But crap, I really would like to know.  Anyway, nothing I can do but move on.  I have 2 new SBs and am going to spend Sunday night with one of them.

 Well said.  The most rewarding thing about the sugar bowl is getting to know someone really well.  It's only natural to develop feelings for your SB, but you always have to remember that money is changing hands.  When a beautiful SB chooses to see you on a regular basis, then you're lucky.  She has lots of options.  --z

Just a curious follow up to this thread:  this SB texted me last week out-of-the-blue.  It went something like this:

SB:  Hey z, just wanted to see how you're doing.  

Z:  Are you still with him.  

SB:  Yes, but I want to see you again as well.  

 (Note here: she wins points for honesty with that reply)  

Z:  You need to put him aside when we're together.  And no cold shoulder.  Can you do that.

SB: Yes, I can.  I will.  

 We hookup the next day in my hotel room, and it's the best sex I've had all summer.  She may be an actress, but what a performance. It's a strange thing, this arrangement. And no cold shoulder now.   My guess is the newness of BF has worn off, and she's feeling less guilty about fucking me.  And like any SB, she likes that allowance, lol.  

One last point:  your beautiful SB/ATF doesn't love you.  But they''ll respect you if you have the backbone to kick them to the curb if they take you for granted.  They'll often come back to you.  --z