The Erotic Highway

Patience?
brownjack 508 reads
posted

I had my first BCD (I'll bore you all with a full report later, when I'm feeling less lazy).  

 
An attractive young thing, who traveled to me and arrived ready to play, but was a bit repressed (no DFK, doesn't care for DATY, took direction, but lacked enthusiasm).  Not cold or detached.  Just reserved.  We spent 5 hours together (including some out of room activity), at a total cost of what I'd have spent for 90 minutes with a pro.  She is wonderful in every other way.  Now, I get that first time, she's maybe a little guarded.  Or, she doesn't necessarily find me as attractive as she finds my wallet.  

 
Keeping in mind that I don't have the time, budget or energy to entertain multiple SBs, What's the general consensus?  Continue to see her and work on rewarding more adventurous behavior, or at least, more enthusiastic participation (which I'm prepared to do a couple more times, to see whether there is progress)?  Or, move on to the next POT?

It could be she just wasn't super comfortable yet.
Give it a couple more dates and if it doesn't progress to the amount of enthusiasm you're looking for you can part ways.
It sounds like it's still a little early to tell

... if this was a civilian or non-sugar relationship?  

 
As you said, she's not a pro. So, I suggest you not try to compare your experience with her to what you've had with pros.  As I've mentioned in the past, Sugar dating is still dating, albeit with some additional structure.  If you had met her off the site and had this date, would you be looking for another date?  

 
Next, you might consider the dynamics of sexual congress.  New partners may often tend to be reserved, until mutual trust is built. It's impossible to know what her motivations are without knowing her background around sexuality, casual sex, and dating. Maybe she was raised in a strict household and thinks being too "wild" will make her look like a whore? It's not unusual for a woman to think being a "whore" is a bad thing (religious issues?). And they never realize that generally men LIKE whores - a lot!

 
Maybe she is slow to trust new partners and will need to see you consistently providing a safe and accepting space before she is comfortable letting out her true sex freak?  Or maybe she really doesn't enjoy the activities you mentioned, or even enjoy sex, but she made a decision to play in the sugar bowl as a necessity to support her financial needs?  

 
So back to my premise:  If there was no sugar involved, what would you do? Would you invest your time into a few more dates to allow the development of a higher sense of trust and comfort, and perhaps her sexual appetite will expand?  Or would you head back to the bar, church, party, social groups, etc. where you met her and try to find a new dating partner?  

 
Either way, I think you can call getting to BCD with a SB a success, even if it wasn't the most memorable sexual experience of your life.  

 
As they say:  
Sex is like pizza:  When it's good, it's really great. And when it's bad, it's still pretty good.  :p

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Adonis4813 reads

I would concur with Herb on this. I've found some POTS to be very reserved and less than spectacular in the bedroom at first. Sometimes this improves, sometimes it doesn't. If you really like her and you enjoy spending time with her outside the bedroom, this is certainly something to consider as a longer term investment. I had one such SB who I dated and really liked a lot. She was a truly nice person and her body and face were outstanding. Over the longer term, she continued to lack enthusiasm in the bedroom and was just not versatile enough sexually so our romance fizzled after 6 months and we ended it. There are many choices in the bowl.

Have any of you had SB's that, even though they weren't pro's, were still fantastic and passionate BCD?  If so, were there any clues or tells?

I've had a few like that.  Women who were absolutely marvelous lovers, skilled, enthusiastic, and so responsive.  I had zero clue before we got BCD what to expect.  Each new first time date is a voyage of discovery!

I think most of us want that connection and chemistry in a partner (someone who fucks you back and wants to be there). Pros can fake this well enough for a single meeting. For non-pros.. sometimes the chemistry will develop or maybe not. You just have to see.. but she might appreciate doing things that please her, so take time to figure that out.

to attribute some of this to the fact that she's young (like, hasn't been legal too long, young) and attractive.  Most of the guys she been with (we're not exclusive) have probably been thrilled to be with her.  I know that I am.  So, she has probably had plenty of partners who were happy to make the extra effort.

 
I'm going to continue to see her with the hope that I can broaden her horizons.  Thanks all.

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