Dear Love Goddess,
 I am back in the hobby after a few year absence (problems again with the SO; but that's for another message).

 Anyway, I want to be as safe as a can be (short of not being in the hobby).  It amazes me how many providers offer BBBJ, CIM, DATY etc. and how many guys take them up on it. I thought any "genital fluid" contact, even with the mouth, was very high risk.

 I love DATY (some of you ladies have the prettiest, most delicious looking and aromatic pussies), but I can't bring myself to perform DATY on a provider.  A provider who doesn't allow DATY recently said she would be OK with a dental dam on a future visit.  Have you used one or had one used on you?  I tried to find one at a couple of local drug stores but had no luck; any recommendations on finding some?

Dear valley_train,
The best dental dam, IMHO, is one you make out of a piece of Saran Wrap. It's still pliable enough to go with the flow and yet, nothing will penetrate it unless you poke a hole in it. Just rip off a piece, put it in front of your mouth and go.

Have I had one used on me? Mwahahaa....I came of sexual age WAY before such devices were promoted. Heck, we thought the clap was exotic. But since you asked for my PERSONAL experience, I'll say this:

I think it takes away from the sensation to use dental dams. Yep, I do. I'd rather not get [or perform DATY] if there is going to be some type of barrier involved. The beauty of cunnilingus is vascular tissue against vascular tissue [tongue against clitoris, labia, etc.] and the sensations it confers upon them. While I understand the reasons for safe sex, I am of the controversial(?) mind that risk is in the eyes of the beholder. But that's me, and I'm well aware that everyone has his/her limits. Personally, I wouldn't use a condom for fellatio, but I would for vaginal sex. Go figure that logic...maybe there isn't one, but heck, when was sex EVER logical? So I'll be very childlike and devil-may-care and say that I don't like to have any type of artificial material interfering with my oral enjoyments.

Now following this argument, my question to you would be, 'how much DATY do you think you'll enjoy with a piece of Saran Wrap in front of your mouth?' Because I hope you realize that in order to protect from anything harmful, the Saran Wrap or latex square in front of your mouth has to be "unpierced." Now, a provider who doesn't allow DATY in the first place...how much do you seriously think she'll enjoy it? I'd wager that she won't orgasm from it at all, and that this becomes a "service issue" more than one of mutual pleasure. Plus, if anyone's visual out there...the look of a dental dam somehow reminds me of Jason with the hockey mask in that horror flick [or whichever one it is teenagers flock to around Halloween.] Is that sexy?

My advice is this: if you can't bring yourself to DATY with some of these "aromatic pussies," then just don't go to the trouble. Because what could happen is that you get near their little aromatic flowers, haul out the dam, decide to dam the torpedoes and go full speed ahead - damless...and then you'll be saying 'dammit!' And blame yourself and go through all sorts of excruciating fears for quite some time. But as I said, this is my personal opinion, and I'm sure many will disagree.

In the brain of the beholder, in the brain of...
the Love Goddess

I guess it depends on how you define "high," but I would say that calling genital fluid contact with the mouth "high risk" is quite a stretch. If it were such a high risk, you wouldn't see so many quality providers doing BBBJ to completion.

Crying from laughing so hard at picture imagining that thing coming at me!  Sorry, fellas, but I think I would insult you from laughing so hard!

valley_train, I would like respond to your post...

But first I would like to say that Love Goddess, you seem like a charming and very smart lady from reading some of your other posts, but on this particular subject I feel you are misinformed. Please don't take offense if I correct you on several points..

you say "I think it takes away from the sensation to use dental dams...how much do you seriously think she'll enjoy it? I'd wager that she won't orgasm from it at all."

As someone who has actually USED dental damns with clients who needed them in order to feel comfortable, I couldn't disagree more... often when recieving oral sex I am TOO sensative to facial stubble, teeth, too agressive sucking etc.  dental damns take the edge off in a very GOOD way.  I NEVER fake orgasms.. I'd rather school people on how to give me a REAL one and that's definatley what happened with the last client I saw who used a dental damn. The key is a dab of lube on the underside, the part that's against your skin...

"While I understand the reasons for safe sex, I am of the controversial(?) mind that risk is in the eyes of the beholder."

I whole heartedly respect that you have slightly different personal preferences (I use condoms for blow jobs,) but whatever our individual "preferences"... the SCIENCE doesn't change.  According to Stanford University, ANY type of unprotected oral sex can put you at risk for any or all of the following:  Herpes, Chlamydia and gonorrhea.  HIV, Syphilis, and HPV are possible, but less likely. Hepatitis A is a risk particularly when rimming.
(don't believe me? Here's the link http://www.stanford.edu/group/SHPRC/ch4_ora.html)

you propose that dental damns aren't "sexy."  I'd counter by saying that a trip to the OBGYN'S with a nasty infection isn't very SEXY either.

I applaud valley_train for seeking out information and for trying safer sex options that will protect him and possibly his significant other(?) Safe sex can be very VERY sexy sex.

Dental damns can be purchased in a variety of colors and flavors at ANY major sex store or online at any number of sites.. so can flavored lube.  Just do a google search!  I have several flavors at my hotel as we speak.

Happy tasting!

Cindy

I am glad that you enjoy sex with dental dams, because this will give some who are curious the hope that not everyone is reluctant! Now, as I stated in my posting, this was my PERSONAL preference. Strictly PERSONAL. Not for everyone.

As for the risk factors mentioned, you most certainly are correct. No one will dispute the information, certainly not yours truly. That's why I always advise people to use their own heads and their own preferences when making sexual decisions. Therefore, I am not saying that having bareback anything is risk free. I am merely stating that I personally find it uncomfortable.

The provider in question, mentioned by the original poster, was apparently not interested in offering DATY, hence there could be two possibilities: a) she doesn't like cunnilingus or b) she may like it with a dental dam.

By the way, I also detest flavored lube That's personal too, and I'm sure that many people love it. And yes, I have suggested it to therapy clients, so I'm not adverse to its use whatsoever.

Finally, safe sex can be very, very sexy. Just not for everyone, for a variety of reasons, which each individual needs to take into consideration when going out there in this big, bad germridden world.

I am glad you enjoy dental dams,
the Love Goddess