I grew up in an "ethinic" neighborhood which had a very famous restaurant. The owner had gone to school with my Father and they were buddies.

All importnat get-togethers included a diner at this restaurant. Over time the service went downhill with the owner's health. We could see the service and the place falling apart. But tradition kept having us go back.

Eventually the place was leveled soon after the owner's death. My family did experience a shameful sigh of relief.

I'm only pointing this out to make a point that whatever you choose to invest in a relationship might not help the situation and the inevitable. You can choose to make her problem yours which would be a bad thing.

It sounds as though she's not really looking to improve the "product" so your "investment" is really going down the drain. I'm also guessing that you're not too comfortable meeting her in her surroundings. You had better consider your own safety since no one else is.

The other "hotties" that you seek after are more pricey; however, your investment there is working to enhance the "product" and your own hobbying experience.

Doing a "pity date" is a bad thing. (Yes... been there....done that.)

You can't save everyone. If you wish to be her "protege" then pay for a few classes to help her out that way and help get her out of the biz.

Hmmm, channelguy,

I'm not sure as to what the problem is here, except the exercise of free will. Maybe it goes something like this? You are saying she is not doing this job out of joy - or perhaps even free will - and only "to exist." You feel that you really don't want to see her, thereby consciously contravening your own free will. She has become a charity case of yours? Well, here's what Jean Calvin said about money [among other things]: Money should be lent to people in dire need without hope of interest.

If you really feel bad for her situation, but also for your "little head," then let your "big head" do the talking and let her know that you will no longer be able to see her as a client. You do not need to give her a reason; after all, clients in the business of sex come and go due to many factors - an angry spouse can certainly become one of them.

Now, as a "parting gift," you may wish to give her something a little more than $100. So that she will not feel that she is being given a "handout," you can book her for, say, a couple of hours, and pay her accordingly. It will be a one-time present from you, and you will then rest in the knowledge that you have done something charitable without demoralizing either one of you. Pay her $400 [quite frankly the going rate for average gals here in Los Angeles,] and hang out in her apartment for two hours. Let her give you her "fairly nice BBBJ," let her "respond" during FS, have a second cup of coffee if so inclined, and then bid her adieu. No harm, no foul; you will have made her a little sad, but also a little happy for the extra donation/time.  

What else is there to say? Don't take the hobbying so seriously, or you'll really be going to church before you know it..

Happy hobbying,
the Love Goddess

In the civie world, there is/there was something known as a "charity f**k."  Yhink of yourself as a trailblazer, extending this timeless concept to the Hobbyist world.


Look, if you enjoy this woman, putting aside the other concerns, continue to see her for as long as you enjoy, such as it is, her company.  You're  not committed to her, clients come and go, so when you tire of her, or no longer enjoy the time you spend with her, or develop other tastes in providers, etc.., wish her well and part as friends.  You appear to have reached this point, so in one sense your choice seems clear.

Your concern for this woman and her unhappy circumstances speaks well of you as a human being.  It seems as if you might somehow want to help her in the non-provider aspects of her life.  Has she ever indicated that she expects or wants help from you along those lines?  If she has, you have to consider long an dhard exactly what you can do to help her, how effective it might be, etc...  If she hasn't, you might be better off letting that sleeping dog lie -- it's possible that she might feel you are patronizing her, misunderstanding your honorable intent, and become extremely insulted and angry.  I'm glad i'm not in your shoes here.


Good luck to you with whatever course you decide upon.  One of the "attractions" of the Hobby is the [supposed?} lack of emotional involvement of the hobbyist with the provider ["...I pay her to leave..." is the immortal formulation], but it seems as if more than a few here are having difficulty wrapping their minds and their arms around this concept.  Hey, this is not a knock, i've experienced those moments myself.  Your interest in her seems much more like compassion for a fellow human being than it does of a hobbyist deeply infatuated with a provider.  In that sense, your decision again becomes a difficult one.

Now comes my standard disclaimer : I'm an emotional cripple, so please take that into account if you chose to consider what humble advice i have offered.

Again, good luck to you.