Dear LG,
In an earlier post below (Little White Lies), you referred to providers as "Sex Workers". I had never thought of the women I visited as "Sex Workers" before. It sounds so clinical, so raw, but yet it is in fact accurate.
Whenever I heard the term "Sex Worker" before, I couldn't help but think of women involved in some kind of trafficking or coercion.
How prevalent is coercion and/or forced labor in the escort business? Does it exist even among the high end agencies? And what about pimps who advertise their women on CL (or other places)? Are these women actually trapped?
I have always left my appointments with somewhat of a clear conscious because I assumed the woman I was with was there on her own volition. But, there is a lot of smoke and mirrors in this industry and a lot that goes on behind the scenes that we as clients never see.
I heard a story of a young woman (19 actually) who answered a modeling ad and was offered an all-expense trip from her home state to NYC for a modeling gig. When she got there, it turned out the modeling gig was instead an agency. They had her in a room and after a brief meeting with the guy spe spoke with on the phone, she was told that she would be having her first clients that night! She initially refused, but when they told her she would have to pay for her way home, she eventually had to see a few clients until she could afford a ticket home.
Dear 10InchPianist,
The term "sex worker" is an umbrella term used frequently in sociological and clinical research. A sex worker can be an indoor prostitution practitioner, either in a brothel, working independently or for an agency, or simply an outdoor street prostitute; there are also those who are called "sex worker" due to their work involving the touching of genitals, disrobing, and engaging in sexual practices that do not involve genital intercourse, e.g. FBSM practitioners.
If we are strictly speaking of "the escort business," then no, forced labor and coercion are not common praxis. The story you have heard is very uncommon among middle to upper middle class sex workers (by definition of annual income), i.e. escorts. The few studies that have investigated independent ladies of the Internet have shown that these women come freely to the table and that they very much are in charge of their own destinies. As to the "pimps advertising their women on craigslist.com," well, your guess is as good as mine. I'm sure there are a variety of scenarios. On the other hand, why on earth would anyone call a pimp when there are thousands of well-reviewed, independent ladies out there?
As to madams, the picture is rather uniform. In general, madams who run agencies are NOT enslaving women, nor do they coerce or force them to work. In fact, madams can be very nice to their workers (remember Heidi Fleiss?) and treat them to all sorts of fringe benefits, mostly because they want to retain good labor.
If you are having any sort of guilt feelings and trepidations, you needn't worry so much about the women you find with good reviews on TER. Of course there are no guarantees, but you do need to learn how to read between the lines. If you contact a lady with pages and pages of stellar reviews and a good website, believe me, no one is enslaving her. Au contraire, she may be your friendly neighbor or the mom of your kid's play friend! If she's on the young side, she may be a struggling actress or entertainer trying to make some extra money while waiting for her big break. Hardly enslaving and surely beats working at Mickey D's!
You also need to understand that society has an agenda. Every time an alarming story is published, the intent is to set an example. Certainly the USA has problems accepting that prostitution will never go away and that perhaps decriminalization would be a good idea. Then again, we just got gay marriage in California, so...
The point is that no one wants to read about an escort who makes 200,000/yr, drives a Merc, lives in Coto de Caza, Orange County or Upper Manhattan and has a string of equally well-heeled men at her feet. Right now there is a British series about a call girl on Showtime, and guess what the reviews said: boring, boring, boring. This is most likely because the writers did their homework and are now portraying escorting as accurately as possible. And for a successful escort, IT'S A NICE JOB. Yes, it's a job, but a nice one, and preferable to many others. And that just galls a lot of people, who feel that the money an escort brings in are simply ill-gotten gains. It's much easier to feel sorry for a "fallen woman who seeks redemption." Who wants to hear that an escort says, "I love my job and I'm gonna keep on fucking for money as long as I can?" No, people want tragedy, apology, redemption and salvation, because it makes them feel superior. It's a syndrome, just like we love to read about trainwreck celebrities and their traumas. So don't you worry, you just go ahead and make appointments and screw 'til your heart's content. No one is suffering around here, even though the media loves to toy with the idea.
Schadenfreude, anyone?
the Love Goddess
I believe that the term "sex worker" also includes strippers, even if there is no sex exchanged.
It depends on who's doing the research. Sometimes they are called "erotic dancers." One problem with sex work research in general is that there has been very little differentiation between the categories of workers. This is mostly due to the fact that research grants are conferred upon those engaged in public health studies; hence, indoor prostitutes are frequently omitted from studies detailing the misery of street prostitutes.
Such is life in the research lane,
the Love Goddess
Good Morning LG,
Actually, the story I heard was from another escort, FYI. I have seen similar stories in the media, but they often refer to hardcore porn or something of that nature.
I have no problem with escorts making a lot of money. It is pure capitalism at its best. More power to them. You could say I'm even a little jealous. Where else can you make that kind of money without any true marketable skills (in the business sense) or any formal education.
and that's why the general populace, some feminists included, would rather see prostitution as slavery, instead of celebrating it as a right and an option to be in charge of one's body 100 percent!
Cheerio, long live providers,
the Love Goddess
Here Here!!!
A good provider begins with certain physical endowments, like a professional athlete, and then adds great interpersonal skills and an ability to understand and connect psychologically, essentially on contact, with strangers. Add to that the acting ability at least as good as those of an actor in commercials and an understanding of anatomy and physiology. A good provider has exceptional skills made non-marketable by the puritan laws of the various states.
Good point Dr. Joe. I referred to "marketable skills" as in those recognized by the traditional business environment. Obviously, these women have marketable skills apart from physical attributes, proven by the fact that there exists a large market for their skills already.
It's a true black market economy, which operates like any public business model. Those providers with good personalities, effective interpersonal skills, etc. etc rise to the top. Those without, don't. Let's also not forget the amount of creativity, motivation, marketing, advertising, etc that some of the independent providers employ. Any self-employed person (like myself) can appreciate the amount of time and effort that goes in to making your business run successfully.
So I apologize to anyone who thinks my reference to "no marketable skills" meant simply "no skills whatsoever". It certainly came across that way in my original post.
I understand too and think we all agree; so no harm no foul. We can all agree that some of the best of these ladies are true heroines. Don't think me too self indulgent if I tell a personal story. A beautiful young lady came to see me in my medical office many decades ago when I was a handsome young man (or at least a young man). She had a medical problem. It turned out, unrelated to that problem, that she was a provider specializing in heavy BDSM. I took care of her and was soon favored with a bunch of her colleagues, all professional dommes, as patients. They did very heavy stuff. Some years later, I was in the midst of a very messy divorce. I had my kids half the time, my ex wife was telling horrible tales about me and trying to get my half taken away from me; most of our joint friend were no longer talking to the monster they realized I really was. I was hanging on to my kids with my teeth and trying to manage three little kids, a big house, and what had become a major medical job. Three of these women, finding out the pickle I was in, became my friends. They were sensitive to my situation, showed me how to do things around the house, and gave sensitive and very wise advice about
how to shield my kids from the madness and how to keep my head and how to understand my ex and not be rattled by her angry actions. I am friends with these three ladies to this day and love their company and still value their advice and friendship. When I expressed surprise to one of them, still among my dear friends, that women who earn a living causing pain and humiliation could be so loving and wise, she said that it would be impossible to be successful at what she does without being able to love her clients and have a deep understanding for the exact needs of each of them. I have to agree.
-- Modified on 6/21/2008 11:18:52 AM
Seems to me, particularly with the independent providers, a provider MUST have fairly honed business skills to sell and deliver her product. Most of of the ind. prov. I've met have at least some college, if not completed same.
These wonderful women know how to stock for incalls, what to take on out calls, all the details to please the hobbyist . . . to be successful in this business requires the same skill set for any entrepeneur - having a product that sells and selling it well.
Not to mention the techie side of it!
Handling, designing websites, researching effective SEOs to pop up first on Google, the screening involved alone qualifies us to be private eyes!
And therapists some days too!
I am constantly amazed at how savvy most of my colleagues are, not surprised but amazed 