Like most of you I prefer to meet hot SBs who are decisive, know what they want, and are either ready to go for it BCD right away or say "sorry, no thanks."  Either way, you're wasting very little time on preliminaries.  It's great when they want to go from the first coffee date to an immediate extension of the date BCD.  Even better when after exchanging a few messages they want to dispense with preliminaries altogether and meet BCD right off the bat.

Yesterday I had my first coffee date with lovely young potential SB.  She is better looking than her pics, very articulate and open minded, into polyamorous lifestyles, and was willing to drive 50 miles to meet me!  She's also very realistic about allowance$ and understands I'm not gonna provide any until we begin getting busy. But she made it clear she prefers to have "several" dates first to get to know and trust someone before considering sexual intimacy.  I tried getting some clarity on what several means, and I think it's 3, although maybe 2 would work if she felt strongly positive.  We parted with a hug, a promise to meet again soon, and I gave her a twenty for gas money just to show I cared.

I find I'm asking myself how much time and energy I should invest in this.  She's a total sugar newbie, and as young as they get, just turned 18.  (and before you ask, YES we did exchange IDs). So I'm inclined to give her more slack and take things one step at a time with her while she figures out what she wants to do.  The rewards could be a lovely arrangement with a super young, lovely girl. I guess I'll meet her at least once more, assuming she's up for it, and see how I feel then.  But I wonder what your experiences and attitudes are on this.  What's the highest number of non BCD dates you've had before becoming intimate with a SB?

I could have sworn the number would be three or four dates, or at least two, but I just went back mentally back through my last several dozen dates over the few years and I was surprised that after racking my brain, I can't think of a single SB that I have ever actually gone BCD with where we had more than a single non BCD date before hopping into bed together.

 
Don't get me wrong, I am most definitely NOT saying that if they don't put out after the first or second date or that I am not willing to see a girl on non sexual dates (as long as no "allowance" is involved), I am more than willing to do this, but after racking my brain I simply can't think of a single time where I have gone on a couple of non sexual dates with a POT SB and ever ended up having sex with her later. I think my percentages are something like 66% of the girls I have sex with happen on the very first date, 33% after one "get to know each other" date, and 0% if it doesn't happen after one non sexual date. Damn, I had no idea until I actually thought about it.  

 
Thinking back on my last 50 or so POT SB's that I have met in person I would have to say about 60% of those dates ended up with us having sex as part of, or an extension of our first date, maybe 30% of them ended up with us having a second "real date" where we ended up having sex within a few days at the longest, and the rest of the dates either ended up with her not offering and me not asking, me not being attracted at all to her and not wanting sex, or in one case we ended up being "friends" another case where we dated a few times with no sex and it became obvious she wanted a "real" relationship, more than I was prepared to offer. (We are still friends) and onc other time with a very young girl by the time she was "ready" I had lost interest. This one might be the closest to the situation you find yourself in.  

 
Here is the problem I see, (now that I have really thought about it) not all girls (and some guys too) just don't feel comfortable having sex just for fun with no emotional connections being required. I don't think I am a good fit with a girl who feels that way. I don't like to lie just to get laid, and "good girls" like this invariably want to feel like the relationship is "special" before having sex and virtually none of them are going to be ok fucking a guy like me who not only has fucked literally thousands of women before them and who has ZERO intention of being "faithful" and I would prefer to find a girl with the right mindset for me than lie to a young innocent girl who wants to have "stars in her eyes" before having sex.  

 
It's funny, I was about to give you a completely different answer and tell you I would be fine having a few non BCD dates as long as she didn't expect allowance, and to tell you the truth I still feel that way, but taking inventory of my own past reveals that it's never ended up with me finding that "diamond in the rough" I think many of us are looking for. Or maybe I am just better suited dating sluts over "good girls" lol

She's 18, brand new to sugar and presumably not very experienced with "casual dating"  (i.e.: Hooking up for sex, especially with an old guy).  Makes total sense that she wants to go slow and make sure her trust issue is satisfied... and by that I mean she feels she can trust you, AND she can trust herself.  
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My advice is try to get a deeper understanding of why she's going the sugar rout;  older guy fantasy, bored with guys her age, desperate for cash for (car, school, debt, expensive crap, medical bills. etc.).  Knowing that will help you evaluate if she's really just looking for a good reason to commit to BCD, or if she wants to play you for free dinners or cash, etc.  
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Either way, I'd avoid expressing any deadlines. That will put huge pressure on her and she may bail. But determine what you tolerance limit is now and keep to yourself. If she crosses it, you can say something like "Thanks for meeting me, but I will be moving on now, as I'm looking for a deeper, physical connection. You don't seem ready and I don't want to pressure you." This, just like negotiating for sugar makes it all about you and doesn't push her to be a 'ho'.  She will probably either come back and drop to her knees or agree and thank you for being such a 'great guy'. If she doesn't bite (suck? she may still come back in a few weeks (months?) and reengage when all the other guys she meets turn out to be jerks/pimps/a-holes.  
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Life is good
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The Cat
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don't know my ass from my elbow in the sugar bowl but agree with other poster...a very young girl, new to the sugar bowl, probably isn't sure she's comfortable with casual sex...she needs time. I like the rule of threes...if you're not BCD by the end of the third date, then u need to have a discussion at the end of third date about if and when that will happen.  
I will say this, Sweetman...how the fuck do you do it? When i first jumped in the bowl, I was chasing young tail (18-24) just like any good American middle-aged guy seeking affirmation that he's still got it would. I never could get those young ones to ever actually physically meet. I did get one to meet and she was great but also charged 800. I ended up hitting up the 30-year old crowd who are much more reliable about meeting up in my book. Anyway, kudos to you my friend...u clearly possess some magic sugar.

You know, my experience is the same.  As I look back on the past few years, all the sexual Sugar  arrangements I've had have resulted from one coffee date and then a few days later we met BCD, or one coffee date leading immediately to BCD, or no coffee dates at all, just a mutual agreement to meet BCD the very first time.  I've actually never had two or more coffee dates before going BCD.  So this particular young girl's request was u usual.  But she's very young and therefore I'll give her some time.  The thing is, it's about a week since our original coffee date and she has not returned my messages, so I don't think this one's going anywhere.

Thanks for the kind words FOD.  I don't know, I guess my basic method is total honesty.  Radical, no?  There's just something about my approach that consistently results in my going to bed with a succession of stunningly cute 18-25 year olds for very little money.  $200 to $250 per visit is my norm.  And I'm about to turn 72.  Maybe I should figure out my "Sweetman's Sugar Recipe" and sell it!  Nah, writing a book would take too much time away from chasing pussy.

to exchange IDs?

I'm trying to get into the SD/SB scene and was wondering what to look for...

I’ve only done that once and that was because her profile said 19 and I wanted to make sure she wasn’t younger. Lord knows I don’t need to pull a  Sweetman and get in trouble talking to an underage girl. Lol  

Sorry Sweetman I know you were only chatting online with and actually called her out on being too young.

and it did happen recently to me as well.  

 
In my case I had been talking to this girl for a while, we hadn't met because she lived about 100 miles from me and our schedules hadn't meshed yet. She listed herself as 18 and had a birthday coming up, by this time we had moved off of PM and were texting and she told me that her birthday was a "significant" one, and you guessed it, she admitted that she was "about" to turn 18 in a couple of days. I was torn between reporting her or not, but since by the time I could do anything about it she was already of age so I didn't bother, not to mention the age of consent in this state is 17, underage prostitution of course has a different threshold, but SB's are NOT prostitutes in the eyes of the law, so I told her that since she hadn't put anyone technically at risk of going to prison I wasn't going to say anything. A couple of days later she put up a new profile with her proper age.

 
I still haven't met her in person, but you can bet your last dollar I will be insisting on seeing ID if and when we do meet in person. lol

 
All that said. To date I have never asked an SB or POT SB for ID, I did have to get one's ID but only because I was renting her a car for a couple of weeks. I have seen some 18 year olds, but virtually all of them were college students and I picked them up at the dorm so I was less worried about their ages. After thinking about it however, I think I may start making it a practice to ask for ID if the girl isn't of at least legal drinking age, better safe than sorry.

 
BTW the guy who made the news by seeing an underage SB had slept with a 16 year old and in the news article they even stated that the age of consent in that state (Texas) was 17. I tried feeling bad for the guy, but he was such a loathsome human being I could muster up even the slightest bit of sympathy for him.

No offense taken, I did indeed find myself talking to a girl who disclosed she was underage. Yikes!  This and other experiences have led me to my current practice of always exchanging IDs. Partly because I tend to play in the shallower end of the age pool.  I certainly can't tell a girl's age without proof.  Trust but verify, right?  But also I think the women deserve to know who the fuck they are talking to.  I encourage them to not only look at my ID, but also to snap a pic and send it to a trusted friend.  That way if they wind up dead in a ditch the next day the authorities will know who to come looking for. OK that's pretty dark humor.  But a woman these days needs to be careful, and offering your ID is a demonstration that you actually care about her safety, thus you earn points by offering.  Points can be traded in for pussy, you know!

I realize that many mongers have more need for discretion than I do, and would be taking more risk of being outed by showing their IDs. Also, let's face it, there are evil crazy women out there who are up to no good and will use your info to scam you, blackmail you, etc.  But I've never had any intentionally evil encounters like that so I don't know if they are common or not. I think not.  If I have even the slightest doubts I'll end the coffee date and walk away.  But if I continue and we are headed toward BCD activity, I think an exchange of IDs is a good idea.

I insisted on seeing ID for one 18 year old. She did show it. But it's always possible to have fake ID. In which case you're still out of luck.

I had my first breakfast meet n’greet yesterday and it was the first time I went straight  BCD. Checking into a hotel at 9:30 AM was interesting but a great way to start the day.  The SB was a 30 something Asian lady recently divorced and apparently in need of “companionship”.
Everybody else with whom I went BCD only had the one meet n’greet which is normally lunch for me.  My BCD rate after the meet n’greet lunch is ~ 60%.  Either I or she were not interested OR our schedules did not match up.  I travel a lot which compounds the issue a bit.
I normally only message/meet with >24 yo SB so hopefully I don’t encounter anyone underage.