I've been very busy and wanted to give myself sufficient time to read this, and I'm glad I did.

Let me just say that we are VERY fortunate to have you on our side.  Posters to this site should read this to appreciate the depth of knowledge you share with us daily, especially in light of the frequently mundane questions you're asked on this board.

I'm guessing Mr. Weiss represents a more mainstream view of the subject than you do, and based on your experience, I can see why you felt compelled to write such a detailed counterpoint to his assumptions and conclusions  As I was reading it, even I as a layman didn't think that the impulse control disorder referred to as  sex addiction had its roots in a narcissistic personality.  That goes against my experience as well as others I've known.  So I enjoyed watching you pop his balloon, even if I had to go to the dictionary three different times.  I'm no expert, but I don't think Mr. Weiss will be inviting you to any dinner parties anytime soon.

OK, now here's something I wasn't expecting- what are the chances that a layperson would come across the works of Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi twice in one lifetime.  Believe it or not, back in the 90's when I was the head of product planning and market strategy for a major car company, we were actually studying his concept of flow for the purpose of trying to better understand, and even create, a flow state when people drove our vehicles.  We wanted to know what we could do to make our cars more conducive to creating that response in a driver.  It didn't really pan out the way we had hoped, but it was an interesting intellectual exercise that caused us to think about some things differently.  

Now the people that really experience flow states are people who ride sports motorcycles, as I do.  We talk about it all the time, even though we don't understand the lingo.  But those of us who have the skills know what it feels like to be "in the zone."  People used to joke about being "one with the machine," but it's absolutely true.  Kobe Bryant does it on the basketball court, race drivers do it on the track, and skilled motorcyclists also can access this heightened level of perception that transcends the step of thinking about what you're doing and just melding with the machine.  And that, BTW, is just as addictive as any sexual behavior.

Anyway, excellent job and thanks for posting that.  But I must admit, after that much heavy thinking, a little "self-soothing" is sounding pretty good right now.  

LG, you said, " But in the case of discrepant desire, I really believe that both parties should come to the table as extremely mature individuals and figure out something that will work for everyone. And if that includes escorts, so be it.  A woman can't expect her male partner to exist in a sexless union, and a man can't expect his female partner to have a matching sex drive."

It's sensible in theory but let's say there are small kids involved and the marriage is good in all ways except in the sexual desire area.  If extra-marital sex is desired by the husband as a solution to the discrepant desire problem then the wife can feel betrayed and the marriage can be threatened which may have damaging effects on the kids; even more damaging than the damage that might occur due to their being sensitive to the sexual discord.

As we all know, marriage requires compromise by both spouses and not everything can be worked out.  Many times much less damage is done by NOT discussing the desire for escorts or other types of extra-marital sexual relationships and just partaking of them.  How many times have we heard that men do that and also maintain their marriages because they no longer feel resentment and anger toward their wives for the desire discrepancy? This board is full of stories like that (mine included).

As much as it would be ideal to do as you describe, it is not always feasible and many factors and variables exist (as you well know).