I had a fair amount of success before the SA evolution, moved to the east coast and just returned to the Midwest. Not exactly POT Siberia but not NY either. I was inactive on the east coast. With the evolution in the last two years - word restrictions, AI message monitoring it has become almost impossible to breakthrough.

Looks like everyone is looking for a paid dinner date, compensated public meet or GPS. Exact route I want to avoid!

Any advice for a headline, profile message or tags that might work from some of the experienced posters here?

How do you initiate a message with a POT for a non-compensated public meet followed by negotiated BCD immediately after without running afoul of all the new rules and triggering AI scrutiny?

I am 90 minutes from Minneapolis and don’t want every trip to be a waste.

Like most posters. I am normal – 49 (look younger), decent looks, average shape, successful, hobbies include travel and sports.

Will paying for a Diamond membership work?

-- Modified on 11/22/2025 6:16:19 PM

I don't think it's worth it although some on here do.  Reality is, get off the site as soon as possible.  Ask her open questions and let her answer.

My line up.
Tell me more about what you are wanting.
What are you open to?
So you are looking for an allowance?  How much?
What would a typical date look like?

I've been trying the Diamond membership for the past few months and have noticed a higher response rate, however, I've not had any better close rate than I did before I upgraded. However, I have also upped my standards quite a lot so have been going for more 8's and above in quality so that is affecting my close rate.

 
As far as cutting through the restrictions, there are no shortcuts. The safest bet is to make it clear you have a 'provider mentality' and want to take care of your potential partner and are open to discussing details offline. There are indeed a lot of profiles looking to be paid for an M&G or asking for ridiculous compensation [which I would advise you not respond to, as you may get banned]. The good news is those are responses that automatically disqualify themselves.  

 
Eventually, over 50-100 reach outs you should be able to find at least a few quality POTS willing to discuss an arrangement and meet for coffee, but to get there, you'll need to vet a lot of riff-raff. This is unfortunately what the market has become and I've not found any shortcuts.        

So let me just start with a few suggestions.  I NEVER take a potential SB to dinner! Too many expectations.  After we talk online and chat via text for a while I suggest we meet for lunch or coffee sometime soon, so we can both find out if we love the vibe irl.  If they are serious about finding an honest sugar arrangement, they will say yes to that.  And stating the purpose of the M&G in that way generally avoids any expectation of a compensated date. I live a 50 minute drive to the nearby city where most of the SBs live, so an hour their and an hour with her, and an hour back,  The M&G is at least a 3 hour affair, door to door.  I simply accept that as part of the price I pay for sugar dating.  I always choose a venue with good food, and one where we can have a quiet, private conversation.  And I NEVER go anyplace that serves alcohol. Assuming she shows up, I thank her for having the guts to show up!  It's gotta take some nerve to meet a random guy off the internet!  I want her to know I am looking at this from her point of view.  I always make it clear that I have had other sugar arrangements, and that I often have more than one at a time.  It's all about transparency.  And at some point I'll say that when I meet a SB we usually have a great time, some sex, maybe a nice meal together, going for a motorcycle ride, whatever, and I give her a gift of  "a couple hundred dollars" before she leaves.  A couple means 2.  I'll go higher if she insists and if she's hot enough.  But that's where the negotiation starts.  And often it's accepted and we move on, and plan our first date BCD!

Upgraded to Diamond several months ago and have previously reported on my experience.

Seem to receive about 2x more replies, but can't say that led to anymore 'closures.'  But it might be I've upped the bar quite a bit these days.

However, would suggest if you are even close to a P Siberia situation, it might be worth it.

Overall, I've quite successful in totally filling my "rotation" so actually have terminated my SA subscription and am now spending more time (and money) on the babes rather than looking for the bird in the bush (so to speak).