While I know some of you guys deftly manage a multi-SB rotation, I have in the past couple of years focused on one regular, enjoying the deeper relationship that has been more satisfying in my situation.

I have a situation now (a good one!) that I'm trying to figure out and would appreciate some tips. I realize some folks are very open about seeing multiple gals but I have generally adhered to a 'don't ask don't tell' policy.

I recently started seeing a 21-year-old (previously mentioned here) who is brand new to sugaring, we meet around once a week with a reasonable PPM, it's going well. We haven't talked about exclusivity but my sense is that it would burst her bubble to be considered part of a rotation.

Since that started, I stumbled on a new 33-year-old prospect who is equally hot and charming, who has a career and who holds her own in conversation as well as anyone. Maybe more in line with my expectations for an SB. Unbelievably, she does not want an allowance or PPM but just occasional gifts, dinners and trips, to keep her independence. We haven't got to BCD yet but she seems like an amazing find. She seems to want an almost vanilla gf-like situation.. again, no exclusivity discussion but it seems implicit.

Back to the question -- what do you guys do to maintain discretion and privacy when you have multiple arrangements. Both for yourselves (keeping appointments spaced adequately) and for the feelings of the SBs?

Know her schedule and control yours.  I have clearly set times I can meet and try to plan a week in advance.  With the expectation that things come up.

Be clear about short and long term.  I'm always open to something more happening but I don't expect it.  Let's be honest, most women half our age don't want an old guy falling in love with them.  My main SB and I stumbled into being something serious, we did not plan it in the beginning.

Enjoy yourself.  What's the point if both of you are not having fun?

Know her goals and expect it to change.  I lost count of how many times girls decided after 6 months either it was too much for her or not enough.  Be the consistency in their lives since there is probably a ton of crazy shit going on

If you get too engrossed with one and completely ignore the other for a week or so, she will look around for others, that much I can assure you. It’s happened to me as well  

As to the 33 y old — that’s a Lucky situation , I am in a similar one right now where she is refusing money and saying “I am not that type of girl” so all in all — you will get better satisfaction from 33y old since she will fulfill that total GFE fantasy  

The sex w my 32y old was so mind blowing it took me like 10 minutes to recover once lol  

Whereas w the 21-22y  types it has been a bit more one sided except for a couple

Id say if you have a conflict at any time, prioritize the 33y old , as the 21y old will eventually flake on you it’s only a matter of time  

That being said, there are exceptions ofc

2 is pretty easy to manage. 3+ gets a little bit harder as the ladies wanting to get paid start to cause scheduling and financial strain

Ok, so first question:  How often do you WANT to fuck? And how often CAN you fuck?  No, seriously, these need to be answered first.  

 
For me, old and fat, I can only really perform a max of once every 2-3 days. And I really want to get laid about once a week. It's a combination of factors like Sugar budget, libido, non-BCD activity schedules, etc.  Accordingly, I try to schedule one BCD date a week, spread across my SB's according to the frequency commitment I made as part of our arrangement. For my A-list SB's, I generally set an expectation of 2-3 meets a month, then in practice, I schedule each SB every two weeks, and I alternate between my top two SB's. For my double the allowance Porn Star SB's I set an expectation of once every 4-6 weeks. Then I weave them in during the occasional gap in my A-List schedule. For my B-List SB's, it's "schedule from time to time" - maybe once every 2-3 months - when I am available.  

 
If my budget and libido were much higher, I'd schedule each group more often, of course.  

 
Next, once I establish a frequency I know I can maintain, I tell all my SB's that I have a flexible schedule - as long as I schedule at least one week out.  This gives me the option to decline any last-minute BCD requests without violating my agreements.  

 
About the appearance of exclusivity, I also subscribe to the "don't ask, don't tell" philosophy.  In negotiating the agreement, I make it clear that I have no expectation that she will be exclusive if she chooses to see others. I make this discussion about her, and how I will never be that "controlling asshole" type she has dated in the past. I tell her what she does and who she sees when we are not together is her business and she does not need to tell me about it unless she wants to.  I only ask her to take appropriate steps to ensure that we will be "safe" (to have BB sex) the next time we meet. Now the unstated implication here is that all these concepts apply to me as well. But I never actually say that.  I want to make her comfortable that our arrangement will not infringe on her life or time beyond our scheduled dates.  

 
If at some point she asks me if I am seeing anybody else, I really don't want to lie - it never ends well. But that doesn't mean I tell her everything.  I make a judgement call at the time about what she wants to hear. But when this has happened (infrequently) she has usually been hoping that I am not regularly seeing someone else. So I may get a little "creative" in how I truthfully answer:  "I am not seeing anyone else  - right now."  In my mind I am being rather dynamic in my definition of the term "right now."  "Right now" could be within the last 24 - 72 hours, or it could be withing the last month, etc.  So saying "No, I am not seeing anyone else right now" is the truth within the scope I define. If she really pushes back and asks for specifics on other partners, I will tell her, of course. But so far, that has only backfired on me one time. She had told me she's ok with me seeing other SB's, then when she found out I had seen two girls 2 months prior, she went ballistic. It took a few days for her to calm down and reconcile her feelings.    

 
Note: There are others here, especially our own Papa Sweet, who don't agree with this approach. They will always be upfront about the number of partners they are seeing, or at least that the number is greater than zero. I will defer to those in the tell-all camp to chip in....  

 
Life is good

 
The Cat

Yes, as our esteemed Herb said, I'm not comfortable with the don't ask, don't tell policy.  I'm coming from a background of a very long term, committed, ongoing polyamorous marriage at home, where honesty about all our other partners is paramount.  So I carry that sensibility over into my sugar dating.  To do otherwise feels dishonest.  In order to minimize the awkwardness of having to discuss other SBs well after a new arrangement has begun, I do several things.  Firstly, my profile clearly states I identify as poly/ENM/open relationship styles.  That weeds out most who might possibly find me attractive otherwise.  And in my initial DMs I reveal my home life situation and add, this means I'm not offering nor seeking anything exclusive.  There will always be others in my life as I assume there will be in yours.  This approach continues to work well for me.  

 
As for managing the rotation, it's really only a problem when you have more than 2 regulars.  I've had as many as 3 regulars for extended periods of time, and wanted to see each of them every two weeks.  So:  I alternated seeing #1 on Friday, then #2 the following Thursday, repeatedly.   And #3 I'd see every other Tuesday.  When it worked, I'd have a date every 4 or 5 days, perfect.  

Right now I have just one regular who I see every other week.  I'd like to increase that number to 2, and I have my first BCD with a lovely new candidate (candy date?) set for tomorrow!  (wish me luck!).  But I also have 4 others. I see each of them from time to time, maybe about once every 2 months.  So fill-in dates are easy, and those SBs understand we're not on any set schedule and have to plan anew for each date.  Since all these women have multiple partners and know that I do too, there's never any awkwardness about scheduling.